Imaginary Scientific Institutes
Created | Updated Nov 22, 2002
1-Werner von Tinckelhoffen Institute for Quantitative Physical Mechanics (Recklinghausen, Germany).
Founded by the Austrian phycisist Werner von Tinckelhoffen in 1924, the WTIQPM has since become one of Europe's leading centres for research into the distortions in space-time that can be made by large amounts of books and similar products. Located in a wardrobe in a bedroom above Schumacher's newsagents in Kolnstrasse, Recklinghausen, the institute has manipulated space-time in the region to create a 12-acre site within the wardrobe. There they have laboratories, offices and, perhaps of most interest, the Maria von Tinckelhoffen Memorial Library, in which is to be found one of the largest collections of books in the Milky Way. It is the library that drives the institute but in recent years its collection has grown so large that leakages have been reported, most notablly in the form of a complaint from the Schumachers downstairs, that the newspapers had been delivered three days early (incidentally the lease of the shop will be available soon following the Schumachers imminent retiral due to them winning 25,000,000 Euros in the German lottery in the week they complained). The upshot of this is that the WTIQPM is set to leave Recklinghausen, its home for 78 years and move to new premises in a beehive near Heidelberg.
2-Tromso Centre for Ice Cream Technology (Tromso, Norway).
Following the closure of the Neapolitan Ice Cream Technology Institute, the Tromso CICT has become the leading centre for research into ice cream in Europe. Founded by Halfred Winsnellberg in 1959 the centre has quickly grown and established its reputation. Notable achievements by its researchers include the discovery of the Riise Process, used for making raspberry ripple, and the discovery of eight new flavours (1964: reindeer milk, 1975: herring, 1978: gorgonzola, 1986: quadruple chocolate, 1990: lemon and winkle, 1993: quintuple chocolate, 1998: roast chicken, 2001: vodka). Of particular note is the discovery of lemon and winkle in 1990 which won the research team led by Professor Seamus Murphy-O'Hannagan the Nobel Prize for Food Technology. Currently the centre is said to be close to developing its ninth flavour, a stable form of hextuple chocolate, although some academics, among them Dr Marvyn Frobisher (University of North East Florida), believe that this is unlikely as calculations show that hextuple chocolate would have an incredibely high value for its van der Walls forces and would thus break to bits within femtoseconds of creation. However this has not stopped the centre from hosting a conference next Spring at which it is believed that preliminary findings will be presented.
Founded by the Austrian phycisist Werner von Tinckelhoffen in 1924, the WTIQPM has since become one of Europe's leading centres for research into the distortions in space-time that can be made by large amounts of books and similar products. Located in a wardrobe in a bedroom above Schumacher's newsagents in Kolnstrasse, Recklinghausen, the institute has manipulated space-time in the region to create a 12-acre site within the wardrobe. There they have laboratories, offices and, perhaps of most interest, the Maria von Tinckelhoffen Memorial Library, in which is to be found one of the largest collections of books in the Milky Way. It is the library that drives the institute but in recent years its collection has grown so large that leakages have been reported, most notablly in the form of a complaint from the Schumachers downstairs, that the newspapers had been delivered three days early (incidentally the lease of the shop will be available soon following the Schumachers imminent retiral due to them winning 25,000,000 Euros in the German lottery in the week they complained). The upshot of this is that the WTIQPM is set to leave Recklinghausen, its home for 78 years and move to new premises in a beehive near Heidelberg.
2-Tromso Centre for Ice Cream Technology (Tromso, Norway).
Following the closure of the Neapolitan Ice Cream Technology Institute, the Tromso CICT has become the leading centre for research into ice cream in Europe. Founded by Halfred Winsnellberg in 1959 the centre has quickly grown and established its reputation. Notable achievements by its researchers include the discovery of the Riise Process, used for making raspberry ripple, and the discovery of eight new flavours (1964: reindeer milk, 1975: herring, 1978: gorgonzola, 1986: quadruple chocolate, 1990: lemon and winkle, 1993: quintuple chocolate, 1998: roast chicken, 2001: vodka). Of particular note is the discovery of lemon and winkle in 1990 which won the research team led by Professor Seamus Murphy-O'Hannagan the Nobel Prize for Food Technology. Currently the centre is said to be close to developing its ninth flavour, a stable form of hextuple chocolate, although some academics, among them Dr Marvyn Frobisher (University of North East Florida), believe that this is unlikely as calculations show that hextuple chocolate would have an incredibely high value for its van der Walls forces and would thus break to bits within femtoseconds of creation. However this has not stopped the centre from hosting a conference next Spring at which it is believed that preliminary findings will be presented.
