Don't Call Us and We Won't Call You

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Don't Call Us and We Won't Call You

The last will and testament of King Nebucadozoff, leaving his second-best bed to his favourite concubine. It's in cuneiform with 'helpful' translation.

Are you armed to the teeth? Are you into legwork or do you put your feet up when you get home? Alternatively are you one of those people who are always putting their foot in it by shooting off their mouths? Do you like a good knees-up or does all this activity get up your nose? Do you wake up and smell the coffee or drag your feet when it comes to getting up in the morning (a real sleepy head)?

Are you willing to lend a helping hand to other people or do you kick into touch such ideas? Is your head full of broken biscuits or do you toe the line and get on with the job in hand? Do you have the stomach to do what is needed or do back out of all difficult situations? Do you keep your nose to the grindstone no matter what in other words or have itchy feet that just want to get away from all responsibilities?

Does your boss want to skin you alive or your wife give you a bit of her tongue? Do you lack the brains you were born with or are you hired as muscle at least? Are you useful for your knuckle sandwiches or do you have a finger in every pie? Do other people put your nose out of joint or try to skin you alive? Are you known for your cheek or do you turn the other cheek instead? Are you spineless or do you have other's backs?

Now, when you've finished this questionnaire, can you put it in the envelope provided, swallow your pride and post it back to me please? Thank you.

Mr IM Wright and UR Wong of Discounted Surveys Anonymous.

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