11 Reasons Why This Isn't a UFO
Created | Updated May 1, 2016
Eleven Reasons Why This Isn't a UFO

- Nigel says it isn't.
- The aliens in Brightling deny all responsibility. (Theirs are less dusty. And more yellow.)
- It appears on a regular schedule. (UFOs are more like British busses.)
- It doesn't have any warp nacelles on it.
- If you send it to MUFON, even they will laugh at you.
- It's been historically mentioned for thousands of years, although some people thought it was made of green cheese.
- It's the subject of lots of songs. (All right, so have some UFOs, but we know who wins the contest here.)
- It's not interfering with your television reception. (That's just the squirrel on the satellite dish.)
- It's not moving in an erratic way. If you think it is, you should lay off the lager.
- Nobody else in the parking lot is running around and screaming, 'I don't wanna be probed!' So stop it, you're embarrassing your date.
- NASA have pictures. And they don't turn off the ISS feed when it shows up.