The Bluebottle Real Royal Sex Scandal Quiz

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Recently, Prince Harry's nude antics in Las Vegas with young,

undressed female women has apparently shocked a dozen newspaper

headline writers around the world. This sort of bare faced, and indeed bare

bottomed, cheeky behaviour could not have happened in the good old days

of monarchy, when kings were real kings, queens were real queens, and

everyone else was either in a monastery or always wore a chastity belt.

After all, surely sex was only invented in Carnaby Street in the swinging


Except of course, none of that's true. Chastity belts are largely a myth

– had they existed, how could anyone have ever used the privy? In

the middle ages, rich and powerful monasteries and bishops owned their

own private brothels, such as the 'Maidenshead' brothel in Westminster. As

for the royal family of England and later Britain, they were at it so much that

throughout history many laws have been passed to try and prevent them

from having so much constant sex.

The first law was introduced in 1437 when Henry VI discovered that his mother had

re-married and had four children without his knowledge. And so it was

made illegal for a member of the royal family to marry without the monarch's

permission. In 1536, Henry VIII

made it a Treasonable offence to marry, become engaged to or 'deflower' a

member of the Royal Family without written permission from the King.

Although Edward VI repealed this act, this did not stop Elizabeth I from enforcing it by imprisoning

in the Tower those who married her distant relatives without her permission.

The Royal Marriages Act 1772, also still in force today, prevents any

member of the Royal Family or descendant of King George II from marrying

without the reigning monarch's permission, or if denied, the permission of the

Houses of Parliament. The Queen

gave her consent to the marriage of Prince William and Kate Middleton

under this Act on 9 February, 2011.

These laws, of course, could not be made to apply to the reigning

monarch, who generally had countless mistresses or, if gay, 'favourites'

throughout their lives. It is no co-incidence that one of the country's few

rulers capable of keeping their pants on for extended periods has since been

defined by that unprecedented characteristic in a monarch and thus Elizabeth

I is widely known as the Virgin Queen despite all her other remarkable


Real Royal Sex Scandal Quiz

So, what examples do previous Kings and Queens of England and

Britain have to set Prince Harry? How many can you identify? Don't worry -

we have an easy question to start off with.

  1. Which monarch had six wives, including his own sister-in-law,

    numerous mistresses (including the sister of one of his wives) and at least

    one illegitimate son?

  2. Which monarch had only the two wives, but at the same


  3. Which monarch abdicated in order to marry his divorced

    American girlfriend?

  4. Which monarch's sex life is reported to have killed his father, but

    his antics at the Moulin Rouge did more to improve Anglo-French relations

    than any of the governments over the previous 100 years?

  5. Which monarch had so many illegitimate children his Prime

    Minister said, 'A king is supposed to be the father of his people, and

    [he] certainly was father to a good many of them

  6. Which monarch was himself illegitimate?

  7. Which ruling Queen spent most of her adult life


  8. Which monarch brought his two favourite mistresses with him

    when he came to the throne, but imprisoned his wife for the rest of her life

    and had her lover executed when he discovered she had had an


  9. Which monarch loved getting his hands on Nell Gwyn's big juicy


  10. Which monarch, when asked if he would marry again, replied 'I'll

    have only mistresses'?

  11. Which monarch disappeared on the day of his coronation and was

    finally found by the Archbishop of Canterbury in bed being seduced by a

    rich noble widow and her daughter?

  12. Which monarch fought a minor civil war against his wife, who

    won, tried to starve him to death and finally had him executed?

  13. Which monarch had his marriage annulled by the Archbishop of

    Canterbury against his will, as his wife was too close a relation?

  14. Which monarch, when informed he had a son, remarked, 'He

    must have been fathered by the Holy Ghost, as [I have] no recollection of

    doing so

Click on the snobby smiley to reveal the answers!

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Post Quiz and Oddities Archive

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