h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

V
The Doctor piloted the rocket away from Mars carefully following the trail of energy signatures left by Raxaar's war ship.
"Doctor?" Peri began from behind him.
"Yes." he replied with his back turned.
"If we do find Raxaar, what are we going to do?" she asked curiously.
The Doctor spun around in his chair.
"Well, hopefully we can board his war rocket and disable it, giving his fellow Ice Warriors enough time to apprehend him." The Doctor said with a smile.
"How exactly are we going to get aboard a Martian ship, disable it, defeat Xinal and Raxaar and stop a civil war, and we dont even have the Tardis!" she shouted.
The Doctor stared blank faced for a second then turned back to the controls. Peri gave an aggravated grunt and folded her arms.
"There!" he turned around again smiling. "I sent a signal to the Galactic Federation capital, it should reach there within the day." the Doctor said triumphantly.
Suddenly a blast hit the rocket, they looked out of the view screen to see a Rutan ship closing in on them.
A short alarm buzzed in the bridge of the flagship.
"What was that?" Raxaar and Xinal asked at the same time,
"A Rutan warship is the approaching the rear of the fleet, my Lord" the Warrior at one of the many scanner consoles reported.
"Has it attacked any of our ships?" Xinal queried, leaning forwards to listen more carefully,
"Yes, a war rocket at the rear of the fleet" the Warrior paused and checked the readouts again in obvious confusion "But the ship is not in formation"
"What is the readout signature of the war rocket?" Raxaar strode over to the Warrior. The Ice Warrior checked the computers before turning to address the Ice Lord,
"It is your ship my Lord"

* * * * *
Inside Federation capital head quarters the Doctors message got through. Unluckily for the Doctor were the two people who in a few years would become two of his greatest enemies.
"Sir, threes a message coming in, from someone called the Doctor." a small winged creature said.
His master waved a bony hand.
"I have better things to do than reply to some quack, I am concocting plans for universal domination not running a home help service!"
The small winged creature pressed the disconnect button on the control pad and the message was erased from the computer.
"Done Rasputaltron." the creature said.
"Very good Barok."