My wife and I were recently out to eat at a restaurant and I actually made her very proud of me.

And no, it wasn't because I managed to use the proper fork during the proper course and avoided sticking my napkin in the front of my shirt.

I made her proud by NOT telling a nearby diner to get bent. But please don't think that this is something I often do while we're out to dinner¹.

The gentleman in question was pontificating to his rather bored companions about his solutions to the 'crisis' in education in the United States. You see, I work in a public school system in the United States.

No, I'm not a teacher. Can you even imagine being a teacher? Being forced to spend 180 days in close contact with teenagers for seven hours each and every one of those days would be ruled Cruel and Unusual Punishment by the Supreme Court. I've spent a few 45-minute class periods with these kids and I've had the overwhelming urge to take a long shower and an even longer drink.

But I digress.

I'm not a teacher². And I am not a sports coach, janitor, bus driver, cafeteria worker or school principal. In fact, I've got one of the few jobs in American education in which I can choose and therefore limit my exposure to students.

I'm our school system's Webmaster. I also write grants to our state and federal governments begging for additional money for our schools' programs. I also am our school safety coordinator and I serve as our media contact person too.

So, as you can see, I am exposed to a lot of different aspects of the American school system. I see the good and the bad and can probably comment on a few of the things the moron at the restaurant was talking about:

• More money won't solve the problem. - HA! He's right of course. Teaching networking courses on antiquated computers is perfectly acceptable. Money earmarked for technology, or new textbooks or even (gasp) teacher salaries could be much better spent on office furnishings for state legislators every time the balance of power in the House of Representatives and state Senate shifts from one party to the other.
• Test scores decline every year. Things were better when I was a kid when teachers really taught. - I don't totally disagree with him here. Test scores have declined over time. But there's a pretty good reason - more kids are taking these tests than ever before. Kids with learning disabilities who 25 years ago didn't get an education are now taking these national achievement tests and (gasp) graduating from high school.
• Things were better when teachers could discipline these kids. - OK, hands up who wants someone else administering spankings to your children... No? Me neither. When I was in school, teachers still regularly administered corporal punishment. Including a mathematics teacher who once pushed me into a wall of lockers because as a teenager I was chatting up a girl while we were waiting in line to see a program in the school's auditorium. Believe me, that push was the best thing that ever happened to me - I instantly became a better student, citizen and human being³.

So what did we learn from this week's column?

1. I regularly embarrass my wife when we go out.
2. I was as obnoxious as the next guy when I was a teenager.
3. I never did get a date with that cute girl in my math class.
4. People who haven't been inside a school in 20 years should not assume that it's the same as it was when they were students.
5. The state of education in the US isn't as bad as people think it is. It really isn't!

Jimi X

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