Bigots, churches and tabloid newspapers often condemn certain sexual practices as "unnatural". Bizarrely, the sexual practices that they often level this accusation at are ones which are common in nature, especially among our closest genetic relatives, the pygmy chimpanzee or bonobo. Anyone calling such things "unnatural" mainly exposes their ignorance of what is and isn't natural.

Research

As a public service to these people, some research has been carried out. Since they apparently wish to condemn people for engaging in practices which are "unnatural", a review has been conducted of sexual practices in nature, and a comparison made with sexual proclivities of humans.

Result

The research was successful in discovering a sexual practice which may be a better target for the ire of those who have interests in controlling the sex lives of others. In its defence, this practice is seen as perfectly normal by the minority who engage in it, and they believe that it makes them happy, and often they think that everyone should do it. But here are a few other facts about it:

• lots of people say they do it, even though they don't, because of peer pressure
• it is rare in nature. Some birds do it, only a very few mammals, and among man's closest relatives, the great apes, only gibbons do it. It is unknown among chimpanzees, gorillas, and orang utans. Yet some humans persist in it, even though...
• we are not, genetically, predisposed to do it. It is most definitely a matter of choice. People who engage in this unnatural act are doing so purely because they want to, against their natural instinct not to.
• it leads to an unnatural narrowing of the human gene pool
• it leads, statistically, to a greater number of genetic abnormalities in children
• in certain circumstances, it may completely prevent a person from having children at all
• it can cause stress and depression in those forced into practicing it, for the above reasons and others
• its name is derived from Ancient Greek, and we all know what a bunch of perverts they were, right?

Conclusion

Obviously, given the above facts, this sexual practice should be condemned, and if possible made illegal. Readers who agree are therefore encouraged to campaign to stamp out:

Monogamy