The Evil That Is Pennies
Created | Updated Oct 7, 2002
It has been decided by unanimous vote of the Peoples Omnipotent Oppresors of the Pacific ( aka. P.O.O.P) that the
U.S. goverment has created the single most frustrating, most annoying, form of currency ever devised, and it is belived by
Your Humble Narraitor that the continuing use of the one cent form of monetary device is pure, unalderated EVIL!!!
The first thing I shall mention in my reasoning is that pennies simply get in the way. Lets say, for example, my friend
Patrick is going to obtain a Dr. Pepper (C) from the beverage dispinsing unit, or "Coke" machine, and has no dollar bills
present in his wallet. Oh, what's that he hears jingling is his poket? Could it be some change he can use to help quench his
thirst? So, my friend Patrick reaches in to his pocket to find some quarters or nickles or dimes. "Let's see... penny...penny
...penny. Curses! Its ALL PENNIES!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.... *gasp* *huff*...OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. Now just imagine
your walking through the deseret and theres a coke machine with bottled water? What shall you do then? All you have are
stupid pennies.
The 2nd thing to mention is they really have no use now except for flattening or cutting into spirals with some really strong
medical scissors. Well, they are good for throwing at people, but nickles are so much stronger. You must be thinking by
now, " Duh, they are used for change..." Seriously, why dont we round all the prices to 5 cent incriments. Back in the day,
a pennie was usefull. Now they just stay in a cup holder and get coke spilled on them, then develop that green crud that
makes the stick together and become intolerable to carry in your pocket, because they stick to everything and you feel
like an anus if you use them to pay for things.
This concludes the evil penny ranting for now, but fear not. There will be a sequeal.
U.S. goverment has created the single most frustrating, most annoying, form of currency ever devised, and it is belived by
Your Humble Narraitor that the continuing use of the one cent form of monetary device is pure, unalderated EVIL!!!
The first thing I shall mention in my reasoning is that pennies simply get in the way. Lets say, for example, my friend
Patrick is going to obtain a Dr. Pepper (C) from the beverage dispinsing unit, or "Coke" machine, and has no dollar bills
present in his wallet. Oh, what's that he hears jingling is his poket? Could it be some change he can use to help quench his
thirst? So, my friend Patrick reaches in to his pocket to find some quarters or nickles or dimes. "Let's see... penny...penny
...penny. Curses! Its ALL PENNIES!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.... *gasp* *huff*...OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. Now just imagine
your walking through the deseret and theres a coke machine with bottled water? What shall you do then? All you have are
stupid pennies.
The 2nd thing to mention is they really have no use now except for flattening or cutting into spirals with some really strong
medical scissors. Well, they are good for throwing at people, but nickles are so much stronger. You must be thinking by
now, " Duh, they are used for change..." Seriously, why dont we round all the prices to 5 cent incriments. Back in the day,
a pennie was usefull. Now they just stay in a cup holder and get coke spilled on them, then develop that green crud that
makes the stick together and become intolerable to carry in your pocket, because they stick to everything and you feel
like an anus if you use them to pay for things.
This concludes the evil penny ranting for now, but fear not. There will be a sequeal.
