One Liner Jokes

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One liner jokes1 are very simple jokes. According to the dictionary, a one liner is "A short joke or witticism, usually expressed in a single sentence."They are jokes that consist solely of one sentence. For example:

A man walked into a bar and said 'Ouch!'

The art of the one liner jokes is that they are over extremely quickly. The joke has no setup or punchline, and there is not time for the audience to think. The beauty of the one liner is that it allows the person telling the joke to release the joke upon the audience in one sentence, and gives him the ability to link up one liners without interruption. One liners are great jokes as they can be told at any time in a normal conversation without the other people realising it.

To some people, jokes that follow the format of a question followed by an answer are one liners. By the dictionary definition, these jokes can be considered as one liners, even though they are technically two liners. This misconception over jokes that follow the format of question followed by answer has led to jokes such as the one below:

Q. Why are most Blonde Jokes one liners?

A. So that brunettes can remember them.

Most blonde jokes are in fact question and answer jokes like the one above. Some people feel very stongly about what is considered a one liner.


One liner jokes are a unique genre of joke, however, in this entry a few examples have been seperated into four different categories:

  • Traditional One Liners
  • Classic One Liners
  • Yo Mamma Jokes
  • Headline Jokes

Traditional One Liners

Traditional One Liners are simply one liners that do not fit into any category.

  • There was a man who said, "I never knew what real happiness was until I got married; and then it was too late."

  • Did you hear about the duck who asked for a double whisky and told the barman to put it on his bill?

  • A bicycle can't stand on its own because it's two-tired.

  • A Committee is a group of people who individually can do nothing, but as a group decide that nothing can be done.

  • Adult: A person who has stopped growing at both ends and is now growing in the middle.

  • Many folks want to serve God, but only as advisers.

  • The fastest way to find something you've lost is to replace it.

  • Lawyers: 99.9 percent of them give the rest of the profession a bad name.

Classic One Liners

Classic One Liners are one liners said by famous people.

  • I used to be Snow White...but I drifted. - Mae West

  • Even if you are on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there! - Will Rogers

  • An archaeologist is the best husband any woman can have: The older she gets, the more interested he is in her. - Agatha Christie

  • Take my wife, please. - Henny Youngman

  • Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly, and applying the wrong remedies. — Groucho Marx

  • I was going to commit suicide the other day, but I must not have been serious because I brought a beach towel. - Steven Wright

  • Droughts are because God didn't pay his water bill. - Robert Schmidt

  • "I wrote a book on penguins. Paper would have been better. - Gary Delaney

Yo Momma Jokes

Yo Momma jokes are a special type of one liner jokes that always begin with 'Yo Mamma's so...'. It is derived from the insulting of one's mother and is considerably different to all other one liners. Yo Mamma jokes are one of the most commonly known types of one liners. The most common type of Yo Mamma jokes are 'Yo Mamma's so fat' and 'Yo Mamma's so ugly'.

  • Yo Momma's so fat, when she ran away they had to use all four sides of the milk carton.

  • Yo Mamma's so fat, when she weighs herself the scale says "To be continued..."

  • Yo Mamma's so fat, The National Weather Agency assigns names to her farts.

  • Yo Momma's so ugly, that your father takes her to work with him so that he doesn't have to kiss her goodbye.

  • Yo Mamma's so ugly, even a blind man wouldn't have sex with her.

  • Yo Mamma's so ugly, I took her to the zoo and the guy at the door said "Thanks for bringing her back."

  • Yo Mamma's so stupid, she took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept.

  • Yo Mamma's so old she knew Burger King while he was still a prince.

  • Yo Mamma's so poor, when i walked into your house smoking a cigar she said "Clap your hands, stomp your feet, praise the Lord, we've got heat!"

Headline Jokes

Headline jokes are headlines that might appear in newspapers. A large number of these jokes are headlines that were misprinted in newpapers, however the more recent headline jokes are specially created. The Onion and The Ironic Times are two fine examples of several publications that create these hilarious headlines.

  • Survivor of Siamese Twins Joins Parents

  • Iraqi Head Seeks Arms

  • Miners Refuse to Work after Death

  • Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant

  • Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead

  • Deaf College Opens Doors to Hearing

  • Steals Clock, Faces Time

  • New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group


All the jokes featured in this entry, and all one liner jokes are meant to be humourous, and should not be used to cause anyone offense. Remember to be very carefully when telling people these jokes as some people may find them insulting.

A765876A592643One Liners and Proverbs
1Also called one liners

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