h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Last time I checked, CW, the local discount store still had loads of Tolkien stuff in it - would you like me to see if I can hunt out a copy for you? As for who decides what counts as greater and lesser Maiar... well, it beats me. Highly qualified Maiar-spotting experts.

My friend Joty, who (as I think I've already said elsewhere) has a job connected with LOTR movie merchandise, let slip that Liv Tyler was a huge pain in the fundament when it came to getting Arwen's action figure sorted out. All the actors got likeness approval but most weren't too rigorous in enforcing it... except for Little Miss Aerosmith, with whom it was 'head too big. Head too small. Breasts too big. Breasts too small' until the sculptors were on the verge of carrying out the modifications on Liv herself...

*giggles at people who 'speak as females' in conversations that are mostly just me and Awix*

I can see why they did it, make Arwen more noticeable and keep the number of elves to keep track of lower, so I'm not too bothered. But I do wonder what she's doing in the Two Towers (sure I caught a glimpse of her in one trailer).

Same reason she had her part in no 1 beefed up, I suppose... to make the film more accessible to an, ahem, feminine audience. Even with Arwen duly present, there are still only four major female parts, and one of those is Shelob...

(I've probably missed at least one. Let the beating-up commence...)

LOL - Shelob's the best female in the book!

(I've been taken for male before Catwoman - so I tend to like to clear it up in advance!)

um - Arwen, Galadriel, Eowyn, Rosie Cotton, Shelob, rumours about the Balrog and a bad date with Gandalf.

On the evidence of the film and trailers so far, I think Aragorn should have ditched the elf and gone for Eowyn, no longer do I feel bad for Faramir for being her second choice.

Wouldn't say Rosie counts as a major character - does she even get any dialogue in the book?

Arwen, Galadriel, Eowyn, Shelob - uh, yeah, those were the four I was thinking of. Purists will probably nominate Goldberry too, I suppose...

Oddly enough I have also been taken for male in the past as well, not that it makes much difference...

Have to say I haven't seen the movie Eowyn yet. Is she a honey?

well, I prefer her to Liv Tyler...
not that that says much.

did you ever see The Thin Red Line - she was Ben Chaplin's character's wife in that, in his flashbacks.
Blonde (well, since the Rohirrm are nordic) little thing.
She's in the trailers and previews

Thought she'd be a blonde somehow.

Saw the Thin Red Line, but it was three-and-a-half years ago so my memory is a little vague (some might say addled). She wasn't in it much, was she?

(PS are you nurturing your LOTR DVD or neutering it? Ideally the latter, so many irresponsible DVD owners don't, resulting in huge numbers of unwanted young DVDS (technically known as 'daddlers') being turned onto the streets every year...)

baby LOTR DVDs?
wow - funky - d'you want one

ackshully, I'm just about to start babysitting for Monsters Inc, so I might need to neuter the growing collection of dvds.
Dangerous things

Yeah, they're kinda like tribbles but with special extra features. And the thing about DVDs, is that they're like tribbles in that each new generation is fuzzier than the previous one. No, hang on, that's pirate videos i'm thinking of. Aaaahhh me hearties!!

I wouldn't call Eowyn a 'little thing'. She does pretend to be a man and go off and fight (probably better than the men).
*waiting for November DVD*

Speaking as a female, it's okay for there to be very few women if you like it already, but for people who are on the 'err, I dunno, fantasy with lots of men, don't know if I like that' side of things, more females might persuade them.

Hmmm. Maybe they should've cast Brigitte Nielson.

(thinks)

No, they shouldn't.

I think demographic research has indicated that for a film to do mega, mega box-office it needs to have at least one strong identifiable female character in it. Or Jedi Knights...

Erm, name something with Jedi that has no women? (I think Carrie Fisher had a problem with Leia being rather too identifiable)

Anyway, if there's Harrison Ford at a reasonable age then I know a few females who won't mind anything.

Thunderbirds are Go!!!

Hmmm - the last two SW movies had Jedi in them and (I suppose) technically women too, but did anyone come out of either of them thinking 'Wow, that Queen Amidala rocked! Wish I was more like her!!!'

Leia was too identifiable...? Ah, I see what you mean. Hmm.

I have seen that woman in three things, and in two of them she was bitching (sorry mods, but that's what she was doing) about always being Princess Leia.

I'd love to know where she'd be right now if it hadn't been for the SW movies. Locked away in coke-casualty hell, unless I'm very mistaken.

And good grief, she's not going out of her way to break the connection, is she? Apparently she script-doctored TPM and/or AOTC and the last acting job I saw from her was alongside Mark Hamill in Kevin 'I'm the biggest SW fan in Hollywood' Smith's movie Jay And Bob Strike Back (you will note yet another SW reference in the title).

Ooh, I must've had too much coffee or something...

It's like people who go on Big Brother (and the second series no less, it's not as if they didn't know what they were getting themselves into) and then get together to sue the people because it's 'ruined their lives'.

Hmm. Given their ubiquity at film premieres, show openings etc I find it hard to be sympathetic.

Reminds me of a show I saw about D-grade celebrities a while back. Some coffee company was having a big launch party for a new brand of instant or whatever, and they interviewed the guy who organised it.

'Do you,' they asked, 'have any shame about inviting all these terrible tabloid celebs to your do?'

'Dunno what you mean,' he said, 'everyone here is of a certain standard of fame.' And *at the very moment* he was saying this, a taxi pulled up in the background and a very-cheerful-looking Nasty Nick and Darren from BB1 went in to the do. Priceless.

Nasty Nick was never as nasty as nasty Nigel (why are there no nasty people beginning with 'E' or something?)

On a random note, how do TV shows get really high-quality celebs (the opposite of the Big Brother lot) to do cameos? The only one that doesn't need a reason has got to be Tom Cruise at the beginning of Goldmember, as you could tell he was loving it (and who wouldn't?)

Probably cos they're friends with/married to someone involved in the show (eg Brad Pitt going on Friends). A truck full of money probably smooths the path, too.

Ummm... what about Evil Edna from Will O' The Wisp?

(Yeah, like you're going to remember *that*...)

Yeah, like I'm going to know what you're on about. Honestly.


(Holy cricket, you're Harry Potter)