One Way to Catch a Monkey

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Monkeys, and apes are naturally inquisitive creatures. This makes catching them an easy proposition, even for an only slightly smarter being, such as a Homo sapiens sapiens, well at least at first.


What you need for this to work is the following...

  • some fruit
  • a fairly hard earthen bank (the ground could be used, but all that bending down....)
  • something to dig with
  • some time
  • and, of course, some monkeys

What to do -

  • 1. Dig a narrow hole in the bank, with a slight chamber at the end. Just big enough to get an open monkey paw down.
  • 2. Eat some of the fruit, in view of the primates - you do not need to do this, but it will probably help.
  • 3. Place some fruit, or better yet seeds, in the hole.
  • 4. Go and hide, somewhere you can watch.
  • 5. Wait until a monkey reaches into the hole.
  • 6. The monkey will grab the food, and not let go, almost no matter what.
  • 7. With the monkeys fist trapped down the hole all that need to be done is to reach down and catch the monkey

Why Catch a Monkey?


Monkeys are closely related to humans, what with them all being primates. This means that monkeys can lead you to food or to water, warn you of impending doom from some big cat etc. If the worst comes to the worst, monkey makes good eating1.


The most common use is to make the monkey take you to water. Monkeys and primates living in hot places, makes water a natural resource to be treasured. So how to make the monkey tell you where water is? Well tie it up for three or four hours in the baking sun, or tie it up and feed it some salt, if you happen to have any, and leave for half an hour. Both work well. Once released the animal will run almost straight to water. So be quick, or keep it on a leash.

1Hmmmm, not-so-long pig

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