Driving Directions are sets of instructions given to drivers in order for them to reach their destination. These come in basically two different varieties: oral and written. Whether oral or written, they are in widespread use due to the fact that people have no idea where they are going, and naturally assume that they're the only ones, and so ask other people. These other people, unfortunately, tend not to know where they're going.

Written Directions

Often either scribbled on napkins or the backs of various documents (letters, bills, letters about bills, threats, threatening letters about bills, legal documents, etc.), Written Directions are supposedly "simple" instructions that enable a person to get where they are going.

Written driving directions can be of varying complexities. Often, they can simply state where to turn, but other times they can contain scribbled maps. However complex, written driving directions operate under the premise that people who use them will be unable to forget them because they are right in front of them. This is fine in theory, except that they also tend to usually be wrong.

Driving directions which contain instructions as to where to turn are the least wrong, usually only confusing "Highway 351" with "Highway 350", or "Philadelphia" with "Amsterdam". Unfortunately, no one quite knows the distance in miles from one place to another, and thus has to rely on primitive distances ranging from "a little ways" to the eternally-stretching "long while".

Maps can be even bigger problems, however, because any time someone tries to draw a map, they usually leave out entire roads. If a map is drawn accurately as far as roads go, it's still hard to convey distance without an actual ruler. Attempts have been made to create some type of system for reading maps on driving directions, as can be seen in the following scale:

One quarter of an inch: A little ways

Half of an inch: A ways

One inch: A long ways

More than one inch: A long while

Oral Directions

Oral directions are of two types: those given before the trip, and those given during the trip. Those given before the trip are usually written down, turning them into Written Directions. Therefore, most Oral Directions are those given during the trip.

Directions given during the trip happen when someone's written directions fail, and they stop to ask for directions. If that person can understand the accents of the people in the area, s/he already has solved the most difficult obstacle. The second biggest obstacle is what the people are saying.

Everyone asked for directions, of course, naturally assumes s/he is the ultimate authority on all directions. One leaves these people with an absolute understanding, and says to oneself, "Oh, that makes sense!" This is dead wrong, of course, and the destination still cannot be found. Thus it is usually necessary to ask another person for directions, who gives radically different directions. If a person is lucky, s/he may be able to splice together the two different directions to form a safe passage route, but usually this does not happen.

Gestures In Oral Directions

Many people use gestures as a more accurate way of showing distance, especially in cultures which use a lot of hand gestures. One very good example of this can be seen in Germany, where the inclination of one's arm is used as an indicator of how far away something is. This is far more accurate than saying "a little ways" or "a long while", and tends to go on the following scale:

xyz is within earshot: arm is stretched out horizontally

xyz is some 10s of metres away: arm points upward at some 45°

xyz is several 100m away: arm points steeply into the air

xyz is far away: arm steeply up, plus a 'winking' gesture, not unlike the one when throwing a stone

xyz is very far away: fast and repeated gesture.

While gestures can be somewhat of a solution to the problem of non-standard scribbled maps and spoken words, they are still not very accurate, and can simply look odd to outsiders.

Other Solutions

Obviously, getting driving directions is a problem. Many people rely on highway maps, which are useful only if another person is in the car. Even when someone is in the car, it is often very hard to plot your own course, which is why many people today rely on online mapping websites. Such Internet spots have the ease of use claimed by human sources, but use more standard measurements and have a tendency to be accurate. Despite the accuracy of the highway and road names, Internet mapping websites do not always know the fastest way of getting somewhere, managing to turn what should be "a little ways" into "6 hours".

As can be seen, a solution to the problem of getting accurate driving directions may be too far off. Then again, it may only be a little ways away... depending on the directions you get.