When you work in the office of an intergalactically recognised newspaper such as this, the strangest things keep turning up on your desk. So we weren't too worried when the following submission was beamed down to us from a distant star. (Our tinfoil hats not only help us get better reception on Radio Brightling, they keep the evil mind rays out, too!)
Unfortunately, the hamster got to it before we could have a proper look, so all that's left is a single picture, and frankly, we have no idea what the heck it means.
We'd like to publish it anyway, so please help us reconstruct the other pages that went with it! Was it a news article? A love story? A poem? Someone's holiday snaps? Was there another painting that explains it in exquisite detail?
All we know is that it was no more than 1000 words (any more would have given Elton indigestion) and that it would be really embarrassing not to have something publishable by the 31.01.11. Do us a big favour and come up with something that looks plausible by then! We'll publish the best guesses – and then go buy some industrial-strength tinfoil just in case they do come blast us.