Pain perdu ("lost bread"), as the French call it, is a breakfast delicacy whose merits reach far beyond the realm of mere sustenance. This amazing fusion of bread and egg accomplishes what many psychiatrists charge thousands of dollars to attempt: the melding of soul and stomach leading to eventual inner peace and self-actualization.

The versatility and potential for complete enjoyment of French toast are legendary and unmatched. Some of the most popular ways to serve French toast, and arguably, most enlightening and satisfying, are with butter and maple syrup, with powdered sugar and peanut butter, with salt and pepper, or with raspberries and whipped cream. In addition, French toast may, be used in the construction of even more complex and desirable foods, such as a bacon, lettuce, and artichoke French toast sandwich. Another little known use is as an edible wallpaper substitute. This use is not recommended in damp climates.

Unfortunately, there are those who abuse this miracle of culinary genius. It is reported that many cafeterias and commercial food distributors attempt to lure unsuspecting eaters into their grasp using an inedible substance consisting entirely of grease and what can only be described as battered bread. Such an atrocity is obviously intended only to torment the palates and plunder the hopes and dreams of innocent French toast lovers everywhere.