Most of my life I have been hearing of wars and rumours of wars; I remember being troubled. Nations have risen against nations, kingdoms against kingdoms: there have been famines, and pestilences, and earthquakes in far-flung places. During the last score of years many are offended, betray and hate one another. False prophets abound on the Internet, in the news-media, they deceive many. Iniquity is rife and the love of many is cold.

Now I'm not much troubled having, metaphorically, gone to the high ground, cutting myself off from the newspapers, the television, and the radio. Even so, one cannot help hearing of our national attempts to meddle in the lives of other nations. We who are led by people steeped in moral turpitude, we whose house is falling about our ears see it as our duty to scold and bomb others. We have no business telling others how to live until we put our own house in order. And even then, rather than tell we should lead by example.

What can we do? More important, it is not what others can do but the question: 'What can I do in person?' that should be asked. It is a question I have put to myself on occasion and had nothing answer. America is home to a profusion of charitable organisations, some better than others, none of which seemed suitable. I had heard of the Big Brothers & Sisters and understood it to require a few hours each week paired with a younger person who tagged along while one went about one's business at the weekend. As most of my activities are solitary I could not imagine being of any use to an active youngster.

One of my colleagues bowls each year to raise money for the Big Brothers & Sisters and had, in recent years, tapped me as a sponsor of her efforts. After that I would sometimes receive a flyer through the mail exhorting me to help, but their core programme just didn't seem to fit. Later I read an article in the Christian Science Monitor, the least hysterical newspaper, in which they reported on not only the core programme but also on the school-based mentoring programme. Now here was something at which I suspected I could make a difference, and it seemed to address what I have long felt is a fundamental problem with our society rather than just treating the visible symptoms.

As a society we are riven into factions. We are divided and, if not fallen, falling. We need to repair the burned bridges between the generations that comprise our society — between the young, the middle-aged, and the old. We need to put an end to such contrived wars as that described by Margaret Morgenroth Gullette in her essay Xers vs Boomers [The American Scholar, Spring 2000].

It was Thornton Wilder's Theophilus North who said that one should have some friends who are younger than oneself, some who are the same age, and some who are older. It is good advice that enables one to maintain links with both the beginning and the end of life and to keep people in perspective. We seem to have forgotten in our pursuit of 'life, liberty, happiness', and the 'Almighty Dollar' that it is our children who hold our future in their hands. What we sow in our children today we will reap tomorrow.

Our youth responds in much the same way as a field of arable land does to cultivation: neglect lets weeds take root and infest the land so that it becomes rank and worthless; cultivation promotes the growth of strong crops and makes the land productive. So it is with children, neglect them and their growth is a hit or miss affair that can endanger themselves and others; nurture them and they repay the investment many times both to themselves and to others. Having thought this through it became obvious that the best one can do is to work with children, which is where Big Brothers & Sisters excel.

Logo of the Big Brothers & Sisters organisation consists of two stylized people, one larger leading a smaller by the hand. Light source is above and to the left such that a curved shadow is cast upon the ground. Shape of the shadow and bodies outline a stylized B when seen from one angle, and a heart-shape when seen from another. Overall the gold logo embodies the essence of big brotherhood — solid, good-hearted guidance.

Big Brothers & Sisters are extremely careful in their selection of adults to take part in their programme. Even though they are desperate for mentors they do not relax their rigorous standards; they cannot and should not, for they work with children who need reliable adults and the organisation is liable for anything that might go wrong with a relationship. It is this rigor of the selection process that was an added and reassuring attraction to me; it meant that I would be under the aegis of a caring and professional organization, as well as any child I might have assigned to my care; it meant that I wouldn't be thrown to the wolves and that there would be help should I need it.

As a school-based mentor my sphere of operation is sharply defined and confined to school premises. It requires one to two hours commitment from me each week during school hours, something that I felt able to fulfill — I had no desire to start something I couldn't finish.

Big Brothers are what are most needed and in very short supply. Selection of school-based mentors is not quite as probing as it is for participants in the core programme, but it is an uncomfortably personal interrogation — minus the bright lights and rubber truncheons. During the selection process I knew that I would be asked why I wanted to be a mentor. My answer was and is that in my view children are the future of our society and that the only way to make a difference to the future is one child at a time. I was asked what I hoped to achieve with the child. To this question I had no answer because I had no idea what children are like these days and even less knowledge of American youth and American schools. My only objective was to be prepared to adapt myself to the prevailing circumstances, though I have since thought that I might be having too much fun and be getting more from the experience than I give.

Since I started as a school-based mentor I have thought much about what it is to be a child. I have tried to review my own childhood and I have thought a lot about my own father and his rôle in life. My father lived until he was eighty years of age. He wasn't perfect, but he was a good man with a strong sense of his duty towards his family. He was my mentor, and a man to whom I could go when I needed help or advice. Although my father is gone he continues to live on in me, but I have no children to whom I can pass on what he gave me. Had I children I would not have the time to devote to the Big Brothers & Sisters organization. By being a mentor I can honour my father by offering to another child what he offered me, even though that child is not of my flesh and blood. In honouring my father I am returning something to society as a whole and contributing to the future in a small but significant way.

In conclusion, being a Big Brother is not difficult. It is about being there, about being a good companion. My father was always there; he was a good companion.