Nuclear Chess
Created | Updated Jun 27, 2002
Nuclear Chess is an amazing game of unimaginable complexity governed by two rules:
First rule: The opening move shall be 1 Cheese Sandwich.
Second rule: The opening move shall be 1 Cheese Sandwhich.
It predates Fight Club by a number of years.
The true nuances of the game were only truly understood by two people, probably in the Czech Republic. The only other to try was declared a gibbering wreck on move three. Nonetheless, as one of the original two, I shall try to encapsulate a few of the possibilities here while I still can.
The game of Nuclear Chess may be described as the management of indeterminate resources, represented by an imaginary chess set and board, who's actual worth must be negotiated towards (or generally around) the ultimate goal of nuking what is represented by the other player's king.
As Nuclear Chess was invented at lunch time, the most important resource to be initially negotiated was, naturally, the food. The inital move, 1 Cheese Sandwich came to be represented as the movement of the King's Pawn two squares forward and its resulting transformation into the Cheese Sandwich. This fundamental concept became the only rules of the game (there were initially two equally hungy players). The rest is entirely made up.
For convenience's sake, lunchtime may be deemed to end when the game is over. Hence, the cheese sandwhich is an obvious resource unit (if not played at lunch, it may fulfil any number of other roles, such as dinner, brunch or hidden underground lair). Simple negotiation may establish this. The imagined chess pieces can be moved as usual, or differently, with captures also being allowed, or not. Alternatively, they may be sacrificed to gain cheese sandwiches (value negotiable). These cheese sandwhiches may then to be used to develop a nuclear arsenal, a prize-winning floral display or even a cure for bureacracy.
Components are left to the imagination and negotiation. Examples could include power plants, missile silos, radars, Death Stars, furbies, nuclear armadillos or any form of radioactive stuffed toy. Defenses may also be negotiated, such as shields, EM pulses, deflectors, rain coats, spin doctors, Spidey Senses or Barney.
Due to the negotiation of value and fundamental existence of any component of the game, play can be lengthy, if not indefinite. Most known endings tend to include some form of negotiated lack of existence by one of the players, usually in exchange for psychiatric care and a plentiful supply of cheese sandwiches.
First rule: The opening move shall be 1 Cheese Sandwich.
Second rule: The opening move shall be 1 Cheese Sandwhich.
It predates Fight Club by a number of years.
The true nuances of the game were only truly understood by two people, probably in the Czech Republic. The only other to try was declared a gibbering wreck on move three. Nonetheless, as one of the original two, I shall try to encapsulate a few of the possibilities here while I still can.
The game of Nuclear Chess may be described as the management of indeterminate resources, represented by an imaginary chess set and board, who's actual worth must be negotiated towards (or generally around) the ultimate goal of nuking what is represented by the other player's king.
As Nuclear Chess was invented at lunch time, the most important resource to be initially negotiated was, naturally, the food. The inital move, 1 Cheese Sandwich came to be represented as the movement of the King's Pawn two squares forward and its resulting transformation into the Cheese Sandwich. This fundamental concept became the only rules of the game (there were initially two equally hungy players). The rest is entirely made up.
For convenience's sake, lunchtime may be deemed to end when the game is over. Hence, the cheese sandwhich is an obvious resource unit (if not played at lunch, it may fulfil any number of other roles, such as dinner, brunch or hidden underground lair). Simple negotiation may establish this. The imagined chess pieces can be moved as usual, or differently, with captures also being allowed, or not. Alternatively, they may be sacrificed to gain cheese sandwiches (value negotiable). These cheese sandwhiches may then to be used to develop a nuclear arsenal, a prize-winning floral display or even a cure for bureacracy.
Components are left to the imagination and negotiation. Examples could include power plants, missile silos, radars, Death Stars, furbies, nuclear armadillos or any form of radioactive stuffed toy. Defenses may also be negotiated, such as shields, EM pulses, deflectors, rain coats, spin doctors, Spidey Senses or Barney.
Due to the negotiation of value and fundamental existence of any component of the game, play can be lengthy, if not indefinite. Most known endings tend to include some form of negotiated lack of existence by one of the players, usually in exchange for psychiatric care and a plentiful supply of cheese sandwiches.
