New York State Fair

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The New York State Fair is held annually on the outskirts of Syracuse. It's been held in Syracuse for something over 150 years, not because Syracuse is a terribly exciting place for an exposition, but because it happens to be located in the more or less exact center of the state, at the confluence of Route 81 and the Thruway. The idea behind this is apparently to make it easier for all state residents to travel to the Fair each year. However, this seems to have backfired, because the majority of Fair visitors each year are Syracusans. (In fact, few people south of the Catskills seem to have heard of it.)

That said, the Fair welcomes almost a million visitors over ten days in late August and early September. On Saturdays and Sundays, the gate can reach up to 100,000 people per day. (Interestingly, there are some county fairs in the U.S. which are even bigger than this.) Admission runs from about $4 to $7 depending on when you've bought your ticket. The Fair has all of your typical fair attractions, including the Midway (barf-inducing rides, huckster carnies and cotton candy), animal barns (pigs, sheep, cattle, goats, horses, chickens, rabbits and llamas), food and handicraft contests, concerts, food, beer and wine gardens, salesmen hawking useless products, and a Labor Day Demolition Derby.

Things to know, see and do at the New York State Fair:

Parking. Unless you've got a handicapped sticker, expect to spend about $5 for parking in lots about a half mile away. (The lots are built on former industrial calcium carbonate waste beds that, below the asphalt, reportedly have the consistency of old toothpaste. Don't worry, your car will still be there when you stagger back at the end of the day.)

Getting around the Fair. The Fairgrounds are large, and take time to traverse on foot, but you can use the tram if you don't mind to wait.

Food and alcohol. Is everywhere, and not too expensive. Avoid the uninteresting Heroes and Legends Cafe, a pink-and-green "retro" Fities establishment in the Center of Progress Building, and instead go down Restaurant Row on your way to the Midway. Although the International Pavilion offers ethnic food, it's usually impractically crowded at lunchtime and dinner.

Music. Fairgoers have basically three choices for music: youth bands of dubious quality; pricey shows in the Grandstand -- usually top country and pop acts of the Christina Aguilera and Alan Jackson type; or free concerts at Cole Muffler Court (which many Syracuse oldtimers still insist on calling Miller Court, its former name). The Cole Muffler Court concerts are twice a day and feature glittering has-beens like Loverboy, Sha Na Na, and the odd Monkee.

Entertainment. Worth seeing are the Art and Home Center (especially its art and photo exhibition and hanging quilts); the Birds of Prey demonstrations at the State Park at the Fair; the State Police demonstrations; the horse show in the Coliseum (which seems to have no beginning and no end, making it convenient entertainment for hot and tired visitors who just want to sit down); the Butter Sculpture, a Dairy Building tradition; in some years, large sand sculptures in the Horticulture Building; and whatever exhibit that Niagara Mohawk, the power company, has going to celebrate their mighty acts of heroic repair in the wake of ice storms and other natural disasters.

Also, veterinarians perform live spay/neuter surgery on pets in an operating theatre somewhere off by the Indian Village, but you might want to consider not seeing that right after you eat.

Places to avoid. The Fair's biggest time sink is Center of Progress (affectionately known as the Center of No Progress) building, which quickly fills with large masses of zombified, shuffling humanity displaying little interest in the cheesy gifts and cleaning mixtures being sold there.

The New York State Fair: an unforgettable, lifetime experience you'll want to return to again and again. (And if you live in Syracuse, that's the law.)

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