How To Twiddle Your Thumbs
Created | Updated May 15, 2002
Introduction
Twiddling has been around since before anyone could even say "twiddling." Actually, I think there are still people who cannot say "twiddling" or "twiddle" for that matter. And I am sure that there are cultures that do not even understand the word "twiddle." Perhaps even some that recognize the set of letters as vulgarity in its most vile form. To those I apologize. But to all others I present how to twiddle your thumbs.
Step 1
Inspect hands. Make sure any muck, grime, dirt, crust, or filth of any kind is removed with the help of water and preferably soap. Wash thoroughly and vigorously because lack of doing so will impede the twiddling experience.
Step 2
Find a comfortable chair or object with chair-like attributes. Make sure this chair or chair facsimile has armrests that are suitable for your arms' length, width, and weight.
Step 3
Sit on the chair or chair facsimile.
Step 4
Place elbows on armrests so that they enable the forearm to form a right angle with the upper arm.
Step 5
Without moving elbows, move forearms towards each other until hands are touching. The point at which they touch should be centered with your bellybutton, unless your bellybutton is abnormally placed. In such case, have someone measure the distance between elbows and calculate the exact center between these two points.
Step 6
While keeping thumbs pointed upwards, interlock fingers in this pattern: left index finger, right index finger, left middle finger, right middle finger, left ring finger, right ring finger, left pinky(pinkie), right pinky(pinkie).
Step 7
Lightly press fingers against their opposing finger's knuckle(e.g. right index finger would be pressed against left index finger's knuckle).
Step 8
Place the length of a fingerprint's distance of the left thumb on top of right thumb's nail. Touching is optional.
Step 9
In one motion: move the left thumb forward and the right thumb back so that half a centimeter seperates them and place the length of a fingerprint's distance of the right thumb on top of left thumb's nail.
Step 10
In one motion: move the right thumb forward and the left thumb back so that half a centimeter seperates them and place the length of a fingerprint's distance of the left thumb on top of right thumb's nail.
Step 11
Repeat Steps 7 through 11.
Variations
You can make variations to these steps to create different twiddling experiences. For instance, you may move the left thumb back and the right thumb forward. You may also opt to keep arms at a variety of other angles such as fifty-two, twenty-five, or thirty-six degrees. But whatever you choose to do, or not do, make sure you are comfortable and above all, safe. Happy twiddling.
