Eating Out
Created | Updated May 15, 2011
1. Singapore Outram Park MRT Exit H
Getting There: Outram Park MRT Exit H
Who should eat there: pretty much anybody
Dining Style: extremely casual - we dressed up but tee shirt and shorts is fine
Price: £5-£7 including beer (local and imported beer is served in 750ml bottles and a frozen glass)
Quality: Solid Singaporean street food
Would I go Back: absolutely but I wouldn't go out of my way
This place may actually have a name - It says Swiss Ling Restaurant and Coffee Shop outside but that isn't important. It looks like a petrol station forecourt with plastic outdoor tables and chairs dotted on the concrete paving.
I decided to eat there because I was staying down the road and couldn't afford both the swish hotel rooms and the swish hotel food prices. In Singapore all food vendors are licensed and most are excellent. Competition is fierce so you can expect good food at a good price.
We dressed up, probably unnecessarily, I think to give the night out a sense of occasion which is not always associated with outdoor eating in Singapore. The place was fairly full and we got little more than a glance by the polyglot crowd - we may have been the only truly native English speakers there, but in Singapore everyone speaks English because that is the language of trade and money.
I had a Ho Fun (flat noodles in a soup) which was all it should be - any variation from my expectations meant that probably I brought the wrong expectations to the table. I ordered a Guinness for reasons I can only guess at on a humid, tropical 35 degree night. It came in a 750ml bottle and frozen pint glass (with handle). My lovely companion had a wonderful chilli-chicken-noodle dish and stuck to water.
It was a "lean back on the plastic chairs and tables" night without pressure. While the locals smoked, drank and ate and the kids ran between everybodies' feet.
The venue does, of course, accept cards. It might be casual and about families and life but it is a proper place to eat.
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2. Café de Paris, Monte Carlo
Getting There: Private Jet to Nice and have somebody pick you up
Who should eat there: anyone under professional psychiatric care
Dining Style: very, very stylish
Price: lunch £40pp and north
Quality: Surprisingly good
Would I go Back: I'd love to take my Mum
You are in Monaco - the flight over to Nice was spent jammed between a chap who owns a fleet of bulk carriers and a super-yacht chef. The conversation was interesting but only two recommendations stick in your mind: eat at the Café de Paris and have a cocktail on the top floor of the Miramar.
We actually went by train to Monaco station from Nice and walked to the Café but I make no assumptions how others arrived. The Café has three areas: the front café and the outdoor and indoor restaurant areas. Despite the lovely day we thought we would head indoors because it might be less touristy (given it is right next to the Casino, it is unlikely that anywhere might be less touristy).
The venue is fine Art Deco - possibly original. The walls with their illustrations of the zodiac, the plates with their scalloped edges, the loos downstairs. It is a coherent vision. The seats are nicely spaced and the service is toffee without being offensive (however, if you can't convince yourself that you are a ship owner, the staff may not be convinced either and then you might enjoy your meal better outside). As it happened the staff knew we didn't really belong (although we were dressed in a bit of high end designer kit) and we knew too, yet we were all happy to play the game which is all that was wanted.
Our choice of food was starter and main and a half bottle of white wine. The menu was proper European café catering to pretty much any time of day. I had a raw salmon salad with a lovely tuna based mayonnaise and my companion had an amazing chicken thing. In the end, we through our judgement to one side and shared a desert of profiteroles filled with ice-cream that was covered in boiling, amazing chocolate sauce.
But you don't go to places like this for the food.
There was one lady who walked up and down, left and right in incredible platform sandals wearing a kaftan of amazing taste and beauty - I don't know if she sat down or ate. There was a family of three where Dad had his phone ear plugs in the entire time, the wife looked bored but beautifully groomed and the young daughter sat dutifully, silently eating her dinner looking every inch a character from a 1940's play. One couple next to us was a mother (60ish) and son (30sh) and he had a handmade, monogrammed shirt but behaved as if he just did what his mummy told him and pretty much nothing else.
It is possible to make this, one of Europe's most stylish and buzzy cafés appear to be a zoo of the rich and odd which is not true. There are heaps of people there having a good time eating very expensive but wonderful food in great surrounds. It is a world class experience because everyone who is anyone might be there. They certainly will have been there at some time. That means you get a broad collection of people, including those with analysts, especially from amongst those who can afford them and, on one occasion, me!
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3. Shoulder of Mutton: England's Answer to the Route 66
Getting There: Take the A66 from Darlington and turn left at Kirby Hill
Who should eat there: those who like good beer and good food
Dining Style: decent pub
Price: Allow £20pp depending on what you choose to drink
Quality: Well worth it
Would I go Back: No question - but getting to Kirby Hill is the hitch
Just to the left of England's answer to the US Interstate Route 66 is a small hamlet called Kirby Hill. For reasons best left unexplored, on this great isle when you get one town with an odd name, it often paired within 5 miles with another town with the same name. You want the one between Richmond and the Coast to Coast A66.
The Shoulder of Mutton is a hotel/pub. The village is a large, grassy, traditional square with farm buildings on three sides and the pub and church on the other. The 12th century church isn't much to look at and neither is the village but there are few villages left unaltered in the traditional medieval pattern and the powers that be have deliberately decided not pave the road inside the square. The village feels rustic, it is and all in all this is a good thing.
We all stayed in the rooms in the hotel for a long weekend and in the evenings ate in the restaurant. At first my female companion was disconcerted that the extensive menu seemed heavy of the meaty comestibles. A simple enquiry brought the other menu - just as long and imaginative - but entirely vegetarian.
It turns out the owners have been doing the professional catering thing for years at some fairly classy establishments and wanted to stay in the industry doing what they do well, but without the grief. So the kitchen is run superbly but without the flamboyant swearing (except when things go wrong I suspect) and the front of house is attentive but stress free largely staffed by local students. One of the pair of owners is a strict vegetarian which is why the place has several menus with so much for everybody.
I couldn't really tell you much about what we ate over the days we were there - we loved it, shared tastes and generally enjoyed ourselves. The wine list had some really nice things on it, some at about about 2/3rds the price you see in cities like London. The ambiance was nearly all local with a few hotel guests like us. The venue is traditional pub with over-heavy furniture and a tad too much red plush, but then it is a traditional country pub. It is a good place to stay to go north to the wall, explore some of the best abbey ruins in the UK and to go to Wensleydale in search of cheese.
It is a real gem, saved by being overrun by tourists because of its location. If you don't believe me, try and find it on a map!
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4. Patterson's
Getting There: Get to London - it is behind St George's Hannover Square
Who should eat there: people with expense accounts and me!
Dining Style: fine dining
Price: Allow £50pp including wine, depending on how you book
Quality: Very good
Would I go Back: Yes - and I have
Big cities that are full of captains of industry necessarily have restaurants that are very expensive and don't disappoint (they also have quite a few very expensive places that disappoint badly). The upside is that for plebs like me, there are lots of places to go for a special night out. The downside is that when you get there, you are the only table spending your own money. It does alter the atmosphere.
Patterson's is quite skilled in allowing both groups to get along. It is quite buzzy, despite the suits, in a well organised small space. Like many London based family run, exclusive, very expensive places, if you book carefully you can get very substantial discounts on the food. It remains a special night out, but one that costs about half the price being charged to the corporate cards at the next table.
For our first night at Patterson's (we have been back since), we had a couple of friends in London who had not seen each other (or us) in years, making the night a bit of a reunion. For one, it was the last night of a long, travelling holiday and a chance to splash out after being careful counting pennies, for the others they were exploring the UK wondering if they might move over.
We all trooped in, had out hats, coats and scarves taken ceremoniously at the door and seated in each others' candle lit presence. The menu is small, vaguely French with a couple of fish, vegetarian and meat options. The chef automatically puts vegies on your plate, thank goodness, so that you don't have to order them separately: the meal is a fully conceived creation. However, it is also very, very rich so the rule of thumb is don't over order.
There good things to be said about the flavours. For instance, the steak comes on a wooden trencher with chunky chips that taste gently of goose fat and there is also a well thought through salad. Whatever you order is lovely and you would be happy to come back another day.
The staff will help you through the very comprehensive wine list - they seem to have as good an eye for your budget as they do for matching the food and the wine. Interestingly they picked out a moderately priced (for them) £40 Tasmanian Pinot Noir because of its rounded flavours and tannin backbone rather than some of the far more expensive French wines. I was more than happy to agree.
The service is not magical but is perfectly fine. Some people may prefer to have automatons serving them but I am nearly always happy with real people. Patterson's is a good balance between top-end industrial and ordinary sorts, in its own style and in its customers.
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5. Lucia's Pizzeria
Getting There: It is in the South Eastern corner of the Adelaide Central Market (easy to get to)
Who should eat there: food shoppers
Dining Style: traditional Italian/Australian café
Price: Allow £5 to 10pp but you can spend a bit more if you want
Quality: Very good
Would I go Back: Weekly
In a corner of one of the greatest food markets in the world - some rate it not far behind Boqueria Market in Barcelona, is a little café - half in its own shop space and half under the main food market roof. It is called Lucia's, named for the lady for whom it was bought and who ran it for many years. It is now run by her daughters, their friends and family.
The food is traditional Australia/Italian - pizzas, pastas and salads. There is a small range of traditional cakes and some wines by the glass. The coffee is excellent and for many people the only thing they buy there. In common with the best cafés, wherever in the world they are, only one person works the coffee machine in a shift. The orders get queued next to them and they go through them sequentially. If they need a break for a chat or to go to the loo, then everybody waits. The system has its downsides but such is the price of quality.
Friday night is the late night for the market and then, along with Saturday morning, is busiest time to drop past. The market does not do fast food or take away so people are there to do their weekly shopping. Visitors share the space with large shopping bags of fresh fruits, vegetables, fish, meats, breads and, especially on Saturday, children. On weekdays the place is much quieter, the sound of forklifts moving about among the vegetable stalls being the loudest sound, but it still remains a good place for a proper meal at a reasonable price.
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6. Magnolia
Getting There: Sail into the Calvi old port, tie up and head upwards into the old town
Who should eat there: lovely people only
Dining Style: outdoor good French provincial Corsican food
Price: Allow £30pp
Quality: Very good
Would I go Back: When in Calvi...
Calvi is the new St Tropez. I actually don't know really because I haven't even thought about going to the old one. However, I do know what people mean. The space is amazingly stylish, it possibly has the best sandy beach on the Mediterranean coasts of Spain, France and Italy combined. The several nightclubs are laid back with no touts. The police wear crisp, ironed uniforms and eat ice-creams as they walk. The food in the cafes is good, cheap, French and it is about unhurried, family life even late into the evening. I like families. I think that summer outdoor eating should include children, dogs and staff that know that they are beautiful and treat you with the confidence that that instils.
I also like eating under flowing Magnolia trees in the warm dark.
Which brings me to the Hotel Magnolia. The hotel above is lovely and thoroughly recommended but the restaurant in the walled courtyard, under the fairy lights and the huge flowering tree is what perfect dining is all about. Yes, the waterfront of the port has more buzz but once the last mega-ferry has left the port to go back over the sea to Nice, Calvi looks inwards a bit and street dining isn't everything.
The food really is lovely at the Hotel Magnolia in a proper Corsican/French way. Vegetarians can work their way around the menu, but it is about meats from the mountains, fish from the sea and warm, fresh tomatoes. The wines of Corsica are not refined, but you are drinking them outside, with crisp linen and not in some Michelin starred place on a wet evening in a great, stone city.
For the four of us (we were sleeping on a 42 foot yacht that night) we were going to enjoy the food, and keep the wine under control. The pate was excellent (although, as James Bond noted of caviar, you get enough of the precious stuff but you can never get enough toast!). The scallops were absolutely amazing. The Corsicans have access to some very good bivalves.
Main courses varied between lightly fried whole fish, a pork chop and a rack of minted, roasted lamb. Nothing was over complicated. Possibly the most interesting thing was that the circuit breaker for the restaurant kept tripping, resetting the music. Even in the dark the food tasted of what the things were.
Desert was fresh strawberries held between sheets of sweetened puff pastry with whipped cream. Simple and superb.
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7. Cheap Places in the London's West End
Getting There: Go Trafalgar Square and panic
Who should eat there: those who can't get away to somewhere else
Dining Style: hurried, inner London
Price: Allow less than £7pp
Quality: All right given all else
Would I go Back: Sometimes you have no choice
Eating in the West End of London can be very disappointing. If you have the money and the time you can eat in some of the best places anywhere. For every other occasion you have to take your chances. Unfortunately, the odds are against you finding food that would even be considered passable for a reasonable price anywhere else in the world.
1 - Cafe La Roche on 39 St Martins Place (very near the London Coliseum): there is the restaurant next door, but the cafe is the winner for price and quality. Somehow you can nearly always get a seat. The omelette comes with a good salad and the rest of the meals are always up to the mark. I haven't tried the cakes or the coffee but I nearly always go for the bagel with smoked salmon and scrambled egg - a great snack before heading to an English National Opera show next door. One thing to remember, if they are busy they won't do breakfast dishes in the evening. It is always worth asking and I bear my disappointment with a smile!
2 - ICA Cafe in 12 Calton House Terrace, The Mall: opposite Saint James's Park and Churchill's War Rooms (and the Horse Guards parade ground, and, and, and): The cafe is now run by a corporate catering firm but they have managed to keep their price/value going well. They have a burger and a pint deal if you see anything at the ICA. Otherwise, just pay a bit extra and order what you want. Quite hip, but not over the top, it is the best place in the immediate area unless you are a full Fellow of the Royal Society - in which case their dining rooms next door are, I hear, better.
3. Hamilton's Cafe 49 Maddox St just off Bond St, Oxford Circus, Regent St et al: This is run by proper Italian ladies. One presides over the coffee machine making possibly the best coffee to be found in the area. The décor has little (OK, nothing) to recommend it but it is clean, good value and the coffee is very good. The lasagne comes in a big oven-proof dish - boiling - so feel free to chat before trying to consume.
4. Battersea Pie Station, 41 Covent Garden Market (the big famous shed - south western corner, down stairs): Very small and very popular. We find that you are best off sitting outside at one of the three tables there and ordering the small pie & mash and also getting a side order of greens to share. It is nothing over the top, but if you are also going to see an show at the Royal Opera House or anywhere else nearby, saving a good slab of money on dinner may stave off justified fears of bankruptcy. The problem is getting an outdoor table.
5. Whole Food Market, Soho 69 Brewer St - just one street north of Piccadilly Circus: Not really a sit down and eat place nor is it open after the theatres come out but they do fabulous takeaway salads (meats and vegies), breads and balsa wood cutlery. Nearby Golden Square is a lovely place to sit in the sunshine and eat your very nicely chosen bits and pieces. This is a winner if you are feeding a horde on the go (especially if they are getting grumpy or have food allergies).
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8. Windy Point
Getting There: Catch a cab - it is half way up a mountain
Who should eat there: romantic couples or large festive family gatherings
Dining Style: Fine Australian Fusion
Price: £50pp including some very decent Australian wines
Quality: Very good
Would I go Back: Oh yes and I would send my bother, his brother ...
One professional food reviewer who is of no importance otherwise said that the quality of a restaurant's food is inversely proportional to the quality of its view. Windy Point has astonishing views - really amazing, as in, world weary travellers gasp amazing. The restaurant has edgy, wonderful food. It also has a cafe downstairs that I do not recommend.
Fusion food has different meanings in different places. In Australia it means traditional British and Mediterranean food with lots of chilli, coriander and lightly cooked green vegetables. South east Asian ingredients mixed with lamb and breads. Greek and Italian flavours mixed with trad English. The result can be an cool mixture of the best of European flavours suited to a hot climate and relaxed eating.
This is largely what you get at Windy Point, many traditional favourites are on the menu for choosing, but the interest lies elsewhere. They also do a tasting menu which is worth asking for (it is not always advertised) and they will provide matched wines too ,if you ask, from a fairly extensive cellar.
My advice is to book long in advance because the tables with the best views are allocated in order of booking. Then make sure you have a return taxi booked, cash in your pocket, a beautiful companion at your side and somewhere pleasant to go to afterwards. Relax into the evening. Learn something about Australian wine. Learn something interesting about your companion!
On a last note, remember that this isn't Paris and Australia waiters maybe skilled but they really do have minds of their own. Let this improve your dining experience - treat them with respect and you will do well.
9. Le 7eme Sens
Getting There: The south end of Rue Cadet: try getting of at the Cadet metro in Paris
Who should eat there: traditional types of metropolitan Paris
Dining Style: Traditional restaurant fare of course
Price: £30 including wine
Quality: Very good
Would I go Back: Yes, but if only it were open more often!
Restaurant dining in Paris is the stuff of legends - the day the poet knocked the waiter and the soup flew into the General's lap! Alors! They still tell of duel that followed!
While I wouldn't want to understate the drama of Parisian dining, le 7eme Sens provides it in a different style. Last time I was there, the most wonderful chef, waiter, sommelier and maitre d'hotel combined to give myself, my charming companions and two little ones one of our fondest dining experiences. Maybe I should explain myself more clearly...
Two of my charming companions had decided to drive the last leg of their month's driving holiday starting in Bosnia, from Strasbourg to Paris to meet me and my other charming companion. Their route was under heavy fog, largely flooded and at certain points, stock had wondered onto the dual carriage way blocking the traffic. Now all French men are farmers at heart so the traffic came to a complete halt as the drivers (all men - this is France) all got out and argued how to move the cows: the philosophy, the practice - for hours.
The two wee ones in the back of the car where not happy by the time they arrived in the 9th arrondissement to join us. Even a box of beautifully wrapped Parisian macaroons were not enough although they were eagerly seized upon.
So dinner it was, and quickly. We settled on le 7eme Sens because it was close, looked lovely and also because we misread the price (the evening menu is far more expensive than the lunch time one) but we were charmed and the two little ones quickly stopped being ratty.
Earlier I was misleading when I said all of the management roles were combined to give us a perfect experience - in fact one man ran the whole show. The place has maybe 20 tables but he stopped taking people once about 10 were occupied. He would run out, take orders, pour wine, run back to the kitchen and bring back perfectly prepared food. How he did it I do not know. I entertained the children with hastily concocted stories of Princesses and Ninja (and a princess ninja to boot) so I missed some of the details.
Once the initial round of food was eaten, one of my charming companions took the children off to bed (casting only a small look of regret over her shoulder at our table covered in desert menus and wine lists). She firmly told the day's driver to stay as long as he wanted and relax. The remaining three of us told tales of travelling derring do, and tried to calm the ex-driver who would still suddenly tense up, eyes darting, looking for cows through fog or listen for the sound of unhappy small people.
The calvados post dinner was free to us. Maybe it was because the second bottle of wine we ordered from the lovely but small list was also the most expensive (about 30 Euros). It is a place I always intend to go back to but so often it is closed.
However, I hear from one of those most charming companions from that night who was also in Paris recently, that he skilled owner now has a helper. This might be the welcome start of more regular opening hours.
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10. The Royal Oak, London
Getting There: Borough Tube, Northern Line
Who should eat there: quiet types
Dining Style: it is a pub
Price: £17pp including 2 pints of beer
Quality: Best pub food in the area
Would I go Back: yep - I think that most people there are regulars
In the back streets of Southwark, also known as the Borough, near the quite old church of St George the Martyr and the mostly demolished Machelsea Prison (the second one) is a small back street boozer called the Royal Oak complete with a swinging sign showing Charles hiding in the famous tree.
The pub only sells beers from one brewer (plus a single guest ale and a two lagers that few touch) and a couple of very nice ciders. The beer is kept extremely well and the brewer is at the top of his game, which makes it good for introducing foreigners to the best of British hand pulled ales (warm beer? what? this stuff is nicely chilled at cellar temperature).
Why many return, though, is for the food. The portions are large and beautifully cooked. Nothing clever but the cook is an Glaswegian ex-butcher who not only knows his meat but also serves a good size bowl of steamed vegies with pretty much everything. Even the one regular (and often only) vegetarian dish (Vegetable and Stilton pie) comes with a bowl of vegies. The chips are crisp, the pies wholesome and the steak and kidney pudding tremendous. The yellow paper specials board stuck the wall changes weekly unless too many things get crossed off and they have to start again.
Given the size of the meals, most are enough for a rugby forward after a bruising encounter with the All Blacks that has run into extra time, one useful trick is to share a main and double the vegies. The staff are quite accommodating and will arrive at a fair price for most requests. The half a duck is precisely that and a quarter each for me and my lovely dining companion is normally quite enough.
Deserts are great although I will admit that I am hazy on some of them, rarely having made it that far. The cheese board is excellent. I can also recommend the sandwiches which are about half the price of a main course.
Everything that can be made on the premises is, including the mayonnaise, many of the sauces and those other things they put on your table when you order stuff.
The pub is hard to find. Saying it is just off the junction where the A2 joins the A3, follow the ancient Roman road and turn left at Nabraska St will lead to confusion in the rabbit warren of old streets. It is also about 30 confusing metres from the Borough Tube Station. However, if you can find it, you can nearly always get a seat (although often you share a table) in this Victorian style pub done well.
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11. The Woosley
Getting There: Find the Ritz on Piccadilly and go across the road
Who should eat there: the glamorous
Dining Style: see and be seen, be lovely
Price: £25pp and up but it really depends on the time of day
Quality: Fantasy middle European style
Would I go Back: when I am invited
England is famous for Afternoon Tea. However, over some of those who have been to the some of England's most famous of the Afteroon Tea venues a certain level disappointment descends (there is a famous grocer on Piccdilly and I am looking at you). So it is delightful to find in this very busy place, the Western end of Picadilly, a very busy cafe that is true style and panache full of afternoon tea aficionados, none of who are disappointed.
It isn't very cheap but next door, the Ritz, is seriously more expensive. You are on the corner of St James and Piccadilly so the venue is very convenient for gentlemen shopping on Jermyn St or for families getting refreshed between stints at the Royal Academy. You are greeted by a team of waiters at the door, one of whom will show you to your table (you will have booked). The clouds of bus boys, waiters and who knows who else will whisk you away into afternoon tea land.
The venue is also good for the late evening supper, the kitchen closes at midnight. It is also rated by others (I have never tried) as London's best venue for breakfast too.
I have had dinner there once but I found the whole thing to be a disappointment. Maybe dinner is too serious a meal for a place where style is the substance. You want a meal where supper can be a fabulous schnitzel for one person, chopped chicken and tarragon salad for another and Austrian style cake for a third - all washed down with freezing cold champagne.
The room has an amazing high ceiling, ebony black columns and potted ferns dotted about. The silver is plentiful, always shiny and the tea strainers hang from a tiny silver pole in an intriguing way that takes 10 minutes to work out. The only thing missing is a band and dancers in evening clothes. And I suspect that is not a bad thing.
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12. Nine Altars
Getting There: get off the train at Durham, over the bridge and up the tiny lane to your right
Who should eat there: those desperate for decent food in student city
Dining Style: prop yourself up at a bench
Price: £4ish
Quality: great sandwiches, cakes and coffee
Would I go Back: the only place for lunch in a lovely town
Durham is a lovely city with World Heritage Listings, old stone bridges, a castle (which resembles a student hostel for some reason) and a cathedral of immense proportions. Anybody who has been in the area and not popped in has missed an amazing sightseeing opportunity.
It doesn't take many minutes reviewing the city centre to note that it is a place short of halfway decent food offerings. Yes their are the big chains but they offer precisely the same food, wine and orange juice in every town in the UK from Torquay, Stratford-upon-wherever, Aberdeen and, of course, Durham: they really don't contribute to your experience of Durham, history and what-have-you, at all. There are a few touristy tea shoppes with plastic table covers and stuffed teddy bears as decoration. All this is exacerbated because the University owns the pretty much the entire centre of the town, and the wet-behind-the-ears students all live in College where the food and beer is cheap, so there aren't even any decent pubs to pick from either.
Durham, my friends, is a culinary desert. Except for a tiny cafe on an even tinier lane way at the rear of 19A Silver Street (I wouldn't want to try and get a wheelchair up there). It is perched on the cliff face over the River Wear with a small out door eating area (lovely in summer) and an equally small first floor area upstairs.
Myself and my lovely companion went once (by luck although we do have a fondness for back street places everywhere we go) and sat outside on a early-summer's morning. Scones, jam and cream seemed appropriate. They had run out of plain scones but they had just made some sultana ones (but they hadn't made up a price to go with them). We settled on something reasonable, they accepted my card (which I thought was very generous since it was such a small payment) and they brought everything outside. Small children were welcomed at the tables around us. These are pleasant people.
Three day's later we were back on a raining Sunday afternoon. The upstairs area was crowded but the accommodating attitudes of staff extend to the clientèle. We all shared tables and moved about to help grannies get in and out. It was hardly all mucking in, in the face of shared adversity (it is only a cafe after all) but the pragmatism made the space work.
What sets this place apart, other than the view, the fabulous staff, and the price, is that they do basic food well. If you want a sandwich they make you a nice one. The scones are fresh. The coffee is really very good. It is, in fact, so unexceptional that it is.
As it happens, if you continue on their little path you end up at the back of the Cathedral which, in terms of size, grandeur and ability to last, is probably right at the other end of the scale from the Nine Altars Cafe.
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13. Hunters Lodge, Priddy
Getting There: Walk up the Old Bristol Rd from Wells - stop when you hit the 640m contour line. It's on your left.
Who should eat there: cavers, calfers and walkers
Price: £6ish including a pint of beer or cider
Quality: trad microwaved pub food and beer from barrels on the back shelf
Would I go Back: ... its a bit of a hike
Wells, the city, prides itself on being the smallest in the UK. This is surprising as it is, of course, the second smallest city in the UK. London (the City of) being smaller in both geographical size and residential population. I will concede that London may have the larger cathedral but that maybe because it is also a lot newer.
In any case getting out of London is a reasonable goal for anybody and getting to Wells is a delight. Having arrived, for some reason I felt the immediate need to head straight straight back out and into the heights of the Mendips. At about 640 metres altitude on the Old Bristol Road, a longing for a pint of ale and some cauliflower cheese became irresistible and I entered the Hunters Lodge which happened to be on my left, avoiding the four wheel drives parked every-which-way), some of which clearly belonged to working farmers (the fencing wire in the back is a give-away) and many of which obviously didn't.
Each of the three bars has its own door. The one out the back is used by the local pot-holers (there are cave entrances in the car park). The other two have their doors in the front of what, may I say, is an exceptionally ugly building. The bar area we picked was packed.
The beer is poured from barrels lined up from behind the bar by slightly balding middle aged men wearing knitted vests and conservative knitted ties. The women folk appear to run the kitchen and only help with the beer pouring when things get desperate. The beer is excellent. My lovely companion heard the call of the local cider which was appropriately strong for Somerset - the nice barman suggested somewhere north of 6.5%.
The food was equally good. The cauliflower cheese was properly made and hot enough to heat a small flat. My pasty was still cold in the middle which was unfortunate but tasted excellent. Everything came with hunks of bread and butter. In essence, order what can be microwaved at the last minute - everything is made in house so the range is appropriate to what they can deliver. It is also really cheap.
Going home we headed across country straying from the road. It was the middle of winter and there was a fair bit of snow around. The single best piece of advice is: don't get caught in the middle of the Medips in the evening without a torch - it does get very dark very quickly on the hill side. I can report that it wasn't a problem for us as we weaved our way back to Wells with full bellies and cheerful beer burps.
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13. Cafe Light, Wimbledon
Getting There: On the "High Street" just past those shops selling dresses for over £1900 each (seriously).
Who should eat there: people who know people who work for the BBC
Price: £15 each with a glass of something
Quality: best of British Cafe society
Would I go Back: whenever I didn't feel like a pub (but did feel like a womble)
Wimbledon is London's middle class dream suburb. It has that most desired urban artefact - the High Street with real High Street shops (and not over run with cheap chains - although there is a Cafe Rouge but isn't that where Bridget Jones went with Shazza and the gang? - so that doesn't count). It also has the Common. That means horse riding. And it also means vast numbers of dog walkers.
For those who have not seen Wimbledon Common, it is huge and largely "wild". It is unlikely you would get gored by a boar or England's last wild lion but the trees are actually quite lovely. Once you have crossed the common you end up in Richmond Park which also is very large but is a lot more open and has wild deer grazing in it. If you can afford a house near the Common or the Park, you probably consider the BMW 4x4 as the family car because the Lotus is too impractical for anything other than driving to work.
However, it is easy to poke fun.
One thing that did strike me, is that the High Street has lots of chain pubs (Youngs seems to own nearly all of them) but there are relatively few simple places to have lunch. Myself and my lovely companion were nearly on the common, dying of thirst for a cup of tea, before we found The Light Café.
It is a lovely bright space with big windows facing the road where the horse riders pass from the stables on the High Street into the common. The menu is clearly about eating and the wine list is chosen with food in mind. The tables are far enough apart for men-who-brunch to push a double baby-buggy between without disrupting anybody's Guardian reading.
We arrived at about 2pm and it was very buzzy but we did get a newly vacated table in the window. To each I chose a wonderful (if quite rare) burger with homemade sauces and fries. My fabulous companion chose the gnocci with a rich tomato sauce. The food menu was imaginative with something for most people without being too long.
For wine we went a New Zealand Riesling and a McLaren Vale Shiraz (which was better than the Riesling and slightly cheaper). We were there for a good couple of hours chatting and reading without ever receiving a hurry on. As the lunchers left, the afternoon tea-ers rocked in.
For me at least, it will not become my regular lunchtime habitat until the BBC elevates me from my short paragraphs on food to a properly paid position. However, in the Wimbledon High Street it is currently the only place to go.
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14. Joseph Benjamin
Getting There: Get to Chester, snuggle up under the wall beside the North Gate
Who should eat there: relaxed people who enjoy a glass of something while eating something else and talking about something else again
Price: £30 each with a bottle of that something to share
Quality: local food from a locality that knows how to grow its food
Would I go Back: I'm not in Chester often, but it is a highlight
Chester is a jewel of a town. In an area which, in government circles, is described as "depressed" Chester is a buzzy shopping centre well serviced with everything you need as well as quite a few things you probably only wish you needed. The four main streets enclosed in the old medieval walls are all double tiered with walkways just above road level as well as just below giving you double the outlets for your window shopping minutes.
Nights are also very lively - we saw two people collapse in the streets before 10pm from high levels of blood thinner flowing through their veins. However, it is a good natured city and fun to be in.
So where does a self respecting eater consume their comestibles? After a day or two of good pubs we pottered off to Joseph Benjamin's just inside the North Gate of the town. The restaurant was light and airy with big windows onto the street outside. The cocktail of the day (it was late Sunday morning) was a Raspberry Bellini - an option that was rapidly seized upon by my bevy of beautiful companions (and one charming gentlemen) who had joined me for luncheon.
The wine list is lovely and not far from standard retail pricing, which makes for a very civilised lunch with a reasonable bill. We had a minerally Italian bottle of white followed by a '05 Californian red of stunning quality at just over £20 per bottle.
For the vegetarians the menu has a couple of options that kept those who felt inclined. For others the Sunday roast option appealed (beef). Gluten free variants were prepared as required. The vegetables came in a big pot in the middle of the table. I noticed that we ate all of the steamed vegies up front and took a bit longer to get through the roasted ones. Maybe we are all suckers for healthy eating (unlikely) but I do feel that light and open eating spaces needs a good mix of light an open flavours. That means a wide range of not-overcooked, not fatty greens to match the richer flavours of the roast and trimmings.
In any event we coped admirably by drinking more the the red and, when necessary, glasses of water from the jugs of tap water they supplied.
Deserts were welcome and well prepared - nothing out of the ordinary (chocolate brownies etc) but all well done. I went with the fruit cake and cheese option and was very impressed - especially as they through in a glass of desert wine as well.
It was a grand day out.
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15. No 1 Lombard Restaurant
Getting There: Have your back to the Bank of England, the Royal Exchange on your left, Bank Tube station beneath you and the Lord Mayor's Mansion House on your right - it should be bang in front of you
Who should eat there: business types impressing each other and couples enjoying each other
Price: £35 each with a bottle of that something to share
Quality: first rate
Would I go Back: My life has a No 1 Lombard niche that needs to be filled only very rarely
On the whole I don't bother with London Business Dining Venues because they are: 1 very expensive, 2 pretty much always excellent, 3 quite samey. Because of 1, I don't go to them very much (I don't have any business that requires dining in such venues) and because of 3 when I do, there is not much more to say.
However, on this occasion I was accompanied on each arm by two gorgeous dining companions who were both in the mood for a good time - this alone made the evening stand out. Not being completely green, I had hunted out some deals and spotted that No 1 Lombard St regularly runs a £25pp five course tasting menu if you book online. Throw in a bottle of wine at £30 and you are set for a good night out.
One of my companions has the good fortune to require a strictly gluten free diet and, given a preference, prefers to socialise in areas with good, echo free acoustics. Unlike the bar and Brasserie in the outer area, the restaurant is carpeted and quiet, even when it is quite full of people. Conversation is a breeze.
The food was from a fixed menu and was all gluten free (there was even gluten free bread in the selection offered to us). Generally there is no reason to cook with flour unless making bread or cakes and I find it a sign of pre-packaged cost saving, second rate cooking when food unnecessarily has gluten in it (cereals are generally very, very cheap so bulk food processors tend to use them rather than the ingredients a decent cook would choose).
So not only were the ingredients good, the food itself was really, really nice. Lots of small bits of tasty things nicely presented, things like raw tuna with ginger bits, smoked haddock with a beautifully softly boiled quail's egg or a gorgeous bit of beef. It was something of a testament to the chef that both of my gorgeous dining companions loved their steak despite the fact that they habitually avoid eating cow.
The staff were especially interesting. I have never been flirted with so outrageously since the last time I was in the Mars Bar on Gouger St. There was shoulder heaving and eyelid flitting a plenty. And it wasn't just me - my companions and I manage to cover the main sexual categories inherent to the human condition and all of us were treated to our own special moments. Obviously this made the service quite uneven but it certainly made our night more fun.
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16. Nice Jazz Festival
Getting There: Follow the Ancient Romans and head for the cool of the hills
Who should eat there: lovers, dreamers and me
Price: £35 each with a bottle or two to share
Quality: It's French, its warm, its outdoors and the food's quite nice too
Would I go Back: Well yes...
Every year one of the best jazz festivals in Europe takes place under the stars in the hills behind Nice. It is all a long way from the pebbly water's edge with its over-brown bathers, bling filled water front and people convinced that they are now leading the high life of the French Riviera. By a long way, I mean a steep climb that takes about 30 minutes hoofing it in the warm, Mediterranean, early evening sun.
It is a big venue with a couple of stages, lots of eating spots and a great atmosphere. As is typical of southern Europe, the adults don't loathe children and the children reciprocate by being moderately well behaved - running around and generally having a good time being small.
Over the week the music is a mixture of styles: blues, cool jazz, a bit of main stream and classic pop, trad jazz and some edgy experimentalism. Some big names appear and very little little is not worth at least half an ear - although I find 70's Berkeley (California) electronic machines that go ping every now and then, while two bearded introverted middle aged men on the stage smile at each other at their cleverness, dull.
Yet one does not go to a French jazz festival on the Cote d'Azure for the wonderful music, lovely weather, beautiful clothes or the relaxed crowds. One goes for the food.
As you would expect, the festival provides a civilised bistro as well as numerous outlets from which you can pick up fast and picnic food. The bistro is the pick, although it is more expensive, with chairs, table service, wine and fabulous food. Actually this might be one of those times where the quality of the food is subsumed into the overall quality of the experience.
Having said that, festivals like this draw a fairly discerning crowd. Despite the lack of sophistication on the water front, the hills behind Nice attract a population with serious money and taste. Once you sit down (there a plenty of tables, but it does eventually fill up) you have a good view over stage 1, with only some trees in the way. Sound-wise, it is fine.
We started with a bottle of something cold and pink. The other options are cold and white, or cool and red. I presume that beer was possible but it wasn't an option we even explored. The menu was broad although it didn't offer much to vegetarians. We ate three courses - why wouldn't you? My mains of lamb chops were perfect with plenty of rosemary giving a dry flinty flavour to offset the lamb. Vegies were up to the mark but not overly plentiful. Given we were eating out doors in a crowd with fairy lights over head, the fact that the food was perfectly cooked and hot just made the whole experience more memorable.
There is a fly in the ointment. Those thinking that the Cimiez Gardens may be the centre of their next French Riviera holiday will be disappointed to discover that, after continuous lobbying by the local council, the festival has moved the main town square nearer the water. This may be good for commerce but I fear that it will be the end of this most wonderful dining experience.
