Crisps
Created | Updated Apr 6, 2002
Rather exciting, vaguely eliptical, slices of potatato about ___ that thick. They are called crips partially due to the crispy sound made when munched upon, but also (I suspect) due to the wonderfully crinkly emmissions of noise made by their foil ecosystems otherwise known as packets.
There are several joyous occurences which you might be fortunate enough to stumble upon when eating one of these niceties of the modern world.
1. You find a 'large' crisp (only in relation to the others) and wonder about the potato from which it came.
2. You find a 'brown' or 'green' crisp. These are special crisps which seem to have een given a special colouring to indicate their authority in the crisp world.
3. You find a 'soggy' crisp, which is not a pleasant wonder. These seem to be the scum of crisp society, and do not bear the 'crispiness' inherant in most crisps.
4. You stumble upon a damaged or poorly sealed packet, raising questions in your mind about the quality of thr contents.
In recent years, crisp evolution ( a common scientific understanding, but some believe in Salt'n Shakers, the great maker) has caused some interesting changes in the basic make up of crisp biology. These changes are mainly because of a crisp's natural desire to be removed from the forced habitat known as a supermarket shelf. Some example of these changes are crisps that have developed a crinkly cross section. This would appear to improve the crunch satisfaction rating when a human bites on them. Other evolutionary variants are corn chips and cheesy puffed corn type things.
It seems that in early types of crisps (and some rare modern species) there was a small, rectagular creature in each colony. This was named, until recently, the 'queen crisp,' but the name was misleading, due to the fact that the creature is not a crisp at all; they are now referred to as 'blue packets.' They were vital to the existance of early crisp types, but numbers are now on the decline.
Unlike humans, there are actually many different genders to crisp colonies. This is strange, due to the fact that crisps are purely asexual. Some examples of these genders are: Smokey Bacon (a rare but beautiful type), Salt and Vinegar (can be harmful to chapped lips), Prawn Cocktail, Cheese and Onion (not to be eaten before or on a date with a particularly hoopy man/woman)....the list goes on.
Despite the large numbers being consummed by the general public, crisp numbers continue to be srong. This is due to the fact that crisps actually thrive on eing eaten. The particular crisp may have been digested, but this does no end of good to the crisp species a a whole, so please, go on eating crisps and enjoying their....uh...crispiness.
There are several joyous occurences which you might be fortunate enough to stumble upon when eating one of these niceties of the modern world.
1. You find a 'large' crisp (only in relation to the others) and wonder about the potato from which it came.
2. You find a 'brown' or 'green' crisp. These are special crisps which seem to have een given a special colouring to indicate their authority in the crisp world.
3. You find a 'soggy' crisp, which is not a pleasant wonder. These seem to be the scum of crisp society, and do not bear the 'crispiness' inherant in most crisps.
4. You stumble upon a damaged or poorly sealed packet, raising questions in your mind about the quality of thr contents.
In recent years, crisp evolution ( a common scientific understanding, but some believe in Salt'n Shakers, the great maker) has caused some interesting changes in the basic make up of crisp biology. These changes are mainly because of a crisp's natural desire to be removed from the forced habitat known as a supermarket shelf. Some example of these changes are crisps that have developed a crinkly cross section. This would appear to improve the crunch satisfaction rating when a human bites on them. Other evolutionary variants are corn chips and cheesy puffed corn type things.
It seems that in early types of crisps (and some rare modern species) there was a small, rectagular creature in each colony. This was named, until recently, the 'queen crisp,' but the name was misleading, due to the fact that the creature is not a crisp at all; they are now referred to as 'blue packets.' They were vital to the existance of early crisp types, but numbers are now on the decline.
Unlike humans, there are actually many different genders to crisp colonies. This is strange, due to the fact that crisps are purely asexual. Some examples of these genders are: Smokey Bacon (a rare but beautiful type), Salt and Vinegar (can be harmful to chapped lips), Prawn Cocktail, Cheese and Onion (not to be eaten before or on a date with a particularly hoopy man/woman)....the list goes on.
Despite the large numbers being consummed by the general public, crisp numbers continue to be srong. This is due to the fact that crisps actually thrive on eing eaten. The particular crisp may have been digested, but this does no end of good to the crisp species a a whole, so please, go on eating crisps and enjoying their....uh...crispiness.
