h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Entry: Traveling Through The Darien Gap - A73946046
Author: jzzyprin93 - U14600827

Please read and comment. Thanks

Hi jzzyprin93, welcome back to PR. This looks like it has potential but will require some work yet.
I'll have another read later and post back with some suggestions. You'll need to take the personal bit out at the end, ie:-
""In my opinion, even though"" change to **Though you may not get the full terrifying**
Also you can remove the ""thanks for reading"" and initials.

I'll be back later with more, I daresay others will comment before long as well.

BMT Scout

Hi JC,

This is a good read

Can you please check the script for spaces. You have rather a lot missing

lil xx

Hi again. Ok, I've looked up this Darien Gap and your article gives a somewhat confusing description of how to travel through it. In fact most of your article gives alternative ways to travel that stretch of country avoiding use of the direct route through the gap. I think you need to decide whether the article is going to be about travelling through it or is about the gap and it's significance to the pan-american highway. Flying over or going via coastal islands isn't travelling through the gap itself.
You have the basis for a good article here but you need to be more specific in what you want the article to convey to the reader.


BMT Scout

do you suggest,i take out the article about going via coastal islands,and write about actually going through the darien gap,or may i write about actually going through the darien gap and alternate ways to get through the darien gap?

I'd start off with where the Darien Gap is, what the Pan-American highway is and why the Darien gap is the missing link in the Pan-American highway. You can then go on to describe methods of travel through the gap. According to what I found online, there are various methods of travel, from using 4WD vehicles, to motorbikes, pedal cycles, walking, use of boats for the swamp areas etc. Then have a section explaining the hazards, both natural and the fact it's in a fairly lawless area etc.

BMT Scout

I agree that this has potential to be a good piece with a little work. My suggestions would be:

1) Run it through a grammar checker (saves the editors a job!)

2) I agree that you should distinguish travelling *through* the gap from travelling *around* the gap. I do like your tongue-in-cheek way of warning people of the dangers of the former, which I think comes across clearly. (Darien would be in my top 10 places in the world to avoid!) It might also be worth pointing out that there is no land route from N America to S America other than Darien, hence its importance...

3) Finally, is there anything more you can add in? Try looking at some of the other entries on the site to see typical length and style. For instance, am I right in thinking that Scotland chose Darien for their first overseas colony - only to find it was one of the least hospitable places in the Americas, leading to financial ruin and union with England? Or where can I get a boat from, how much would it cost? Can you explain a little about the guerillas? How large is Darien? What's it actually like - jungle and swamp? And so on... interesting little asides can turn a good, accurate entry into a great read.

Good luck, let me know if you need a hand with anything!

Gif

The whole Scottish involvement with Darien is very interesting. I'd agree that it might be worth a mention, even if only a couple of sentences.

Anything happening here?

Not much by the looks of things - and it seemed to have good potential on a 'nugget of an idea' level.

Re. this earlier comment:

1) Run it through a grammar checker (saves the editors a job!)

- I'm all for some checking, but don't take all the fun out of the editorial job!



The Apprentice

jzzyprin93 hasn't posted since 21st Nov 2010 - looks

I'd say that this is about the right length for a short article on the area, and it's a shame it isn't polished enough for the Approved Guide.

Would you recommend sending it to the Flea Market then? Maybe someone else would take it on.

Yep, that sounds about right. Would make a good rainy day job for someone.

I'd love to do it myself - not sure I'll get time though.

Gif

So, was that a firsted and seconded for a trip to the Flea Market?

The Apprentice

Thirded, too, just in case. It'd be a pity to see it disappear entirely!

. . . and it's good to see so much energy back in PR



Lanzababy

The author appears not to have been around since November. Maybe this should be sent to the Flea Market?


Lanzababy

See above.

I think to send something to the Flea Market, one of the scouts has to actually contact the Eds. Is anybody doing this?