Heroic Failures

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The Least Successful Firework

The most unsuccessful firework so far ignited was the 'Fat Man' Roman Candle perfected in 1975 by Mr George Plimpton of New York. It weighed 720 pounds, was 40 inches long and was developed to break the record for the most spectacular firework ever. It succeeded admirably.

Lighting it, Mr Plimpton confidently predicted that it would reach an altitude in excess of 3,000 feet. Instead of this, it hissed, whistled, and blew a 10-foot crater in the earth.
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The Least Mysterious Mystery Tour

In 1971 Mr and Mrs William Farmer of Margate travelled to Wales for their Summer holidays. At the start of the week they joined a British Rail Mystery Tour. "We were expecting the Welsh mountains," they said afterwards.

It took them back to Margate instead.

"We nearly fell through the platform," said Mr Farmer, who had been looking forward to getting away all summer.

The Worst Homing Pigeon

This historic bird was released in Pembrokeshire (South Wales) in June 1953 and was expected to reach its base that evening.

It was returned by post, dead, in a cardboard box, 11 years later from Brazil. "We had given it up for lost," its owner said.

The Least Successful Computer Novice

A person had recently had a new multimedia computer installed on his/her desk. He/She had had it for a week when he/she rang the IT department. He/She explained that he/she was getting on fine with the new toy apart from one thing. The problem lay with the cup-holder on the front of the computer, which kept going back in and spilling his/her coffee. The cup-holder was in fact the CD-ROM draw.

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