Hitchhikers Guide To ... Life (Dealing with Psychological Pain)
Created | Updated Nov 19, 2005
( read this, like in the movie! )
Hitchhikers Guide To ... e f i L | f e i L | i e f L | L i f e | normalizing... Life
If you cannot bear your current situation, there are only a few options to take. You can (a) act like nothing ever happened, (b) try to change your situation, (c) run away, (d) change yourself, or (e) jump into a random number generator and hope for the best.
jk, you should pray as well ;)
If you ever do feel like you do need to change, keep in active conversation with your friends and family.
( And yes, to future commenters and readers, I do like to use humor in my posts/guides. I find it therapeutic, both for me and the reader. I encorage you to laugh along when I make jokes, and then get ready to handle the serious stuff as well. ;) )
THIS IS A WORK IN PROGRESS, although almost complete. MANY SECTIONS BELOW ARE COMPLETE, just not organized into their final locations yet ;)
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ADVICE:
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1. Talk to a pastor, counselor, teacher, mentor, friend, older person, younger person, knowledgeable person, trusted person. Try to get as many different perspectives as you can, and then you can make a more informed decision.
2. Often times, it is not a problem with yourself that "you cannot bear your current situation." It is more a problem with the environment, and you are just reacting to it.
It is like a person with seasonal allergies. Every spring, that person will be affected by pollen, and there is nothing they can do about it to change their allergic reaction. They cannot change themselves to make the pain go away. There is nothing wrong with "me", it is natural that I am reacting this way. As with someone who is experiencing allergies, there are a few things I can do about it. Someone with allergies knows (s)he can spend less time out-doors, buy an air purifier, use medication, or put up with it and work through the sneezing and the coughing. It is similiar with a person experiencing psychological pain, such as grieving or the like. They are having a reaction to their environment, and there are a number of things they know (or will learn that) they can do about it. (...to be continued...)
3. Try to find the true sources for your discomfort and pain.
* Is there any reason why you are not doing what will make you happy? or will ultimately you happy?
* If you are doing things for too long or impulsively, are doing them instead what you should be doing, or otherwise would be doing,
--> you may be using "coping strategies": such as procrastination, watching too much TV, playing video games for many hours at a time, isolating yourself unreasonably --> to actually numb yourself to the pain or a source of pain that might otherwise go unnoticed.
The best thing to do is to REALIZE that THIS IS WHAT IS affecting me--NOT THAT I AM USING [THIS COPING STRATEGY], but THAT I AM HAVING PSYCHOLOGICAL PAIN CAUSED BY [THIS (or a source to be discovered)] THAT MY BODY AND MY MIND IS REACTING TO: --
-- THAT I HAVE A CHEMICAL IMBALANCE IN MY BRAIN THAT IS MAKING ME FEEL THIS WAY, AND IS MAKING ME REACT IN THIS WAY. --
It is natural for me to feel this way and react in this way, given my situation and the way that my environment has affected me over my entire lifespan.
( I suggest saying this to yourself as a type of creed: )
I have [THIS] and I know what it is. I know what I can do about it, or I am actively seeking the answers. I am always checking my options, trying them out, and looking for new and better ways to deal with this. Currently, I am using [A COPING STRATEGY] to deal with this, and I realize that I might have to fall back on previous coping strategies, like doing some activity that lessens the pain--for too long or in excess, but I know that THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH ME, and that IT'S NATURAL TO REACT IN THIS WAY. I know that I NEED TO BE AWARE THAT [THIS] IS AFFECTING ME in every situation that I face, UNTIL IT IS HEALED AND LEAVES MY SYSTEM, or UNTIL THE ENVIRONMENTAL STIMULUS IS REMOVED, but I know that THIS TAKES TIME, and sometimes A VERY LONG TIME. I know the WAYS I CAN DEAL WITH THIS NOW, and I AM CURRENTLY SEEKING MORE OPTIONS. I have GREAT THINGS TO LIVE FOR, and MANY PEOPLE THAT LOVE ME. If I don't feel that anyone loves me, I WILL FIND FRIENDS AND COUNSELORS WHO DO LOVE ME. I KNOW THAT GOD ALWAYS LOVES ME, and THAT HE IS THERE FOR ME, and IS CARRYING ME THROUGH.
I know that I CAN WORK THROUGH THE PAIN, or FIND A HEALTHY WAY TO DEAL WITH IT, until I CAN COME TO A POINT WHERE I CAN once again BEAR THE PAIN and work in ways to HEAL IT FROM MY SYSTEM, and WILL NO LONGER AFFECT ME.
Be aware of what makes you feel the way you feel, and what makes you react the way you react. ;)
- Peace -
James