The Australian Child
Created | Updated Apr 7, 2002
The Australian child is a joining together of 'fun' cells. From the age of 2 everything around the child must br fun. If it isn't the child is unresponsive and disinterested. Australian children have a built in 'fun detector' (remarkably similar to an Australian adult's 'bullshit detector'). They can quickly dismiss any activity, even before it has begun, as not fun. When this occurs, the child's ability to see, think or move suffers a complete shut down. The only sound to be heard is the high pitched "Why am I doing this?" or in older, more evolved forms "Why do I have to do this?" The only people immune to the effects of this noise are the child's biological parents. The only way to cease this noise is to distract the child with offers of lollies or stickers. In extreme cases, or to avoid bleeding from the ears it is advised to cease all activity and turn on a TV (tuned very carefully to cartoons or Home & Away, depending on the child's age.) This will force the child into a trance-like state where fun is literally a state of mind. All physical activity ceases. More on this soon!
