Passing the time sketch
Created | Updated Mar 5, 2002
1 +2 are slightly rural voices, they are outside
1; well that's it isn't it
2; oh I know it's shocking, that's why we wintered in kent this year
1; oh really, I've heard it's nice down there,
2; oh it is, did you get away this year?
1; no, well things are still tight round here after foot and mouth
2; that was a nasty business, but we're still here though, still at it
1; yeah, true, but there's lots that weren't so lucky
2; indeed, oh cyclists!
1; CYCLISTS, you lot, get down.
Pause
1; moo
2; moo moo
1; moo
pause
2; ALL CLEAR
1; that was close
2; it was rather wasn't it? BERNARD, KEEP YOUR EYES OPEN!!! mind you if it's not foot and mouth then it's BSE
1; quite, another reason to have half your family shot in the head with a compressed air gun
2; oh (shudders) don't go there
Part 2
1; well the last time I was there they'd done it up
2; oh really
1; yeah new floor, excelent eating area, really spacious
2; oh, horse riders
1; HORSE RIDERS!!!
Pause
2; mooo
1; mooo moooo
2; moooo
1; baaaa
#both snigger 2 whsipers stop it!#
1; ALL CLEAR!
2; when you say spacious do you mean like you can move your head around between the bars.
1; no, you can take your head out of the bars if you want, even lie down!
2; wow
1; well that's the rspca for you
2; what nice people, they really are.
1; hard to believe they're the same species as all the other jerks.
2; yeah, oh god not again HIKERS!
1; HIKERS!!!
2; Oooh, hang about, there's only one, he's on his own
1; are you thinking what I'm thinking
2; well it's been a while (titter)
1; alright, play it cool
pause
2; mooo
1; mooo
2; mooo
man; eeeeh what fine beasts
1; mooo
man; eeeh you'll make some one a good lunch one day you will
2; you just try it mate!
Man; eh?
1; he said 'you just try it, MATE!'
man; what?
2; what's wrong, ye deaf??? Or just thick
man whimpers
1; #whispering# or maybe your mad!
2; ooh talking cows, talking cows ooooooooooh
1; you ought to be careful,
2; coming out here on your own
1; you never know what might happen
2; who's about...
1; or whats about...
2; no witnesses, unless you count this lot #distant mooing#
1; ef-f-f-f-f-f-f-f
man; #whimpery scream, runs away#
1+2 giggle then laugh then sigh
2; almost makes it all worth while doesn't it?
1; what being shot in the head with air gun and being served up in some resturaunt still bleeding onto the plate?
2; awwww mate!!!!
1; #slight giggle# sorry, do you wanna get some grass?
2; yeah go on then
1; well that's it isn't it
2; oh I know it's shocking, that's why we wintered in kent this year
1; oh really, I've heard it's nice down there,
2; oh it is, did you get away this year?
1; no, well things are still tight round here after foot and mouth
2; that was a nasty business, but we're still here though, still at it
1; yeah, true, but there's lots that weren't so lucky
2; indeed, oh cyclists!
1; CYCLISTS, you lot, get down.
Pause
1; moo
2; moo moo
1; moo
pause
2; ALL CLEAR
1; that was close
2; it was rather wasn't it? BERNARD, KEEP YOUR EYES OPEN!!! mind you if it's not foot and mouth then it's BSE
1; quite, another reason to have half your family shot in the head with a compressed air gun
2; oh (shudders) don't go there
Part 2
1; well the last time I was there they'd done it up
2; oh really
1; yeah new floor, excelent eating area, really spacious
2; oh, horse riders
1; HORSE RIDERS!!!
Pause
2; mooo
1; mooo moooo
2; moooo
1; baaaa
#both snigger 2 whsipers stop it!#
1; ALL CLEAR!
2; when you say spacious do you mean like you can move your head around between the bars.
1; no, you can take your head out of the bars if you want, even lie down!
2; wow
1; well that's the rspca for you
2; what nice people, they really are.
1; hard to believe they're the same species as all the other jerks.
2; yeah, oh god not again HIKERS!
1; HIKERS!!!
2; Oooh, hang about, there's only one, he's on his own
1; are you thinking what I'm thinking
2; well it's been a while (titter)
1; alright, play it cool
pause
2; mooo
1; mooo
2; mooo
man; eeeeh what fine beasts
1; mooo
man; eeeh you'll make some one a good lunch one day you will
2; you just try it mate!
Man; eh?
1; he said 'you just try it, MATE!'
man; what?
2; what's wrong, ye deaf??? Or just thick
man whimpers
1; #whispering# or maybe your mad!
2; ooh talking cows, talking cows ooooooooooh
1; you ought to be careful,
2; coming out here on your own
1; you never know what might happen
2; who's about...
1; or whats about...
2; no witnesses, unless you count this lot #distant mooing#
1; ef-f-f-f-f-f-f-f
man; #whimpery scream, runs away#
1+2 giggle then laugh then sigh
2; almost makes it all worth while doesn't it?
1; what being shot in the head with air gun and being served up in some resturaunt still bleeding onto the plate?
2; awwww mate!!!!
1; #slight giggle# sorry, do you wanna get some grass?
2; yeah go on then
