By burgers, I mean like the BK Double Cheeseburger, or the Whopper, or the Big Mac, or any other burgers like that that you can think of. By eating a burger, I mean without dropping the stuff inside the burger onto the ground, the counter, the packaging or wherever you're eating a burger where stuff could drop out. Hungry? Well, listen to this!

The Stages to Gastronomic¹ Glory²!

To eat a burger like this, take the initial bite. Everything will slide a bite to the other end, between your hands( minus the burger buns,of course!).

Right, this requires common sense. If you have that, go away and buy a burger! If you don't, or you're just curious, then read on. Turn the burger 90 degrees to either side. That means that the part that you just bit is under either of your hands. Now, bite. Continue to do this till there's not much left, then pop the remainder into your mouth.

KCH³, Heuston⁴, (S)He Has a Problem!

If stuff is REALLY sliding out from one side, forget the pattern and bite there. Once the threat is over, continue the pattern from where you left off.

The End( And Other Things)

Finally, you'll be finished. If you've just eaten a burger here and now while reading this, congratulations, you officially need help!

---UPDATE---

Inside information(pun intended)on burgers.Cheese will NOT slide out,everything under it will,however.Sauces are very tricky.If sauce starts dripping out somewhere,lick it up(unavoidable) then continue where you left off.Onions⁵ in Big Macs(ya know,that sauce with chunky white things in it!)tends to slide out.Furthermore,pickles are VERY slippery,watch out for them too⁶.And finally(almost),a word of caution.If you keep eating in the same place,the meat,as well as everything else,will be pushed onto the floor or wherever,so BE CAREFUL!

Please note that this is MY method.If my method doesn't work for you,find your own through trial-and-error(or observation-and-planning!).If you find another method that works for you,please let me know and I will include it in my updates.My method may not work for any other burgers other than Big Macs, Cheeseburgers and Double Cheeseburgers.However,if the burger contains sauce and no tomatoes/lettuce(hate tomatoes and have never had a burger with lettuce),then it should work.My expertise is mainly concentrated on Burger King, as I rarely eat at MacDonalds.Also,one place in Ireland may not make burgers/sauces like they do in the same place in America or England,e.g.MacDonalds,so it may not work there.

Thanks for reading!