Arrested: The Haunted Castle Glee Club was taken into custody this week for public indecency and committing music without talent. Apon release, their spokesghost, Ex-Rambling, commented;Help, I'm being repressed! Can't you see them repressing me!?

The trial date is yet to be determined, but the lawyer for this group has stated that he believes in artistic freedoms and will fight to the death for his clients' right to sing nekked.

Burglary of tower reported

Recently vandalism and burglary broke out in the Red Tower A person or persons unknown raided the tower during it's owner's forced absence. Furniture and fixtures were relocated cielingwise(A neat trick), and the safe broken into. Items missing: A book, and one very valuable Kitten skin Coat. Any information resulting in the arrest or capture of the perpetrators or recovery of the missing items will
cause the local cops to and do the mambo, since it's been a while since we actually caught anyone besides the Glee Club.

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Open letter to the editor, from Pinniped(edited for content):

Hiya Ex-Rambling!

There's still the not-so-small matter of a phantom man-o'-war berthed at the Pier. Since it turned up, our visitor figures have dropped, which is quite some achievement since they numbered three in the week before. I need to move the thing. It seems to be spooking the punters even more than the risk of imminent structural collapse.

So how about a commercial proposition? You fancy commanding a Ship of Death; I can sell you one, price of one ton of fish. Never to be repeated offer.

Yeah, of course you want a full service record. I've got it here somehere. Listening?

First registered May 1798, at Weston, England. First owner, ostensibly one Mr Kubla Khan, but we kind of suspect that this isn't right, on account of the aforementioned being a 13th Century Mongol Warlord and unconvincingly contemporaneous, not to mention somewhat unrecorded as a resident of Somerset. Also the vessel doesn't look entirely suitable for its ostensible use of pleasure cruises on the River Alph, sacred or otherwise.

OK, according to some researchers it's possibly the case that the ship in question was really first owned by a local junkie called Sam T Coleridge (no relation). Make that half a ton of fish; is that better?

You want me to go on? Yeah, well OK...it does say here that by about 1806 the ship had got a bit notorious, having been allegedly won in a dice-game by a Lady called...well, she didn't exactly give her name. She was a personification, see? An anthropomorphised manifestation of some trait or other of human nature, I forget which one. Yes, I suppose it might have been that one. Look, to you, five hundred pounds of fish, OK? My last offer...

You want to see a sea-worthiness certificate? OK...I'll just have to...think about that for a minute...

All right, there is a bit of a problem in the bow area, I admit it. There are some slight gaps in the timbers. Yeah, you could say they're fairly large slight gaps. You heard that you can see the sun through them on a bad day? OK, I heard that too, but it was a Very Bad Day. Hey, I can't possibly go below two hundred pounds. Come on; be reasonable. We've all gotta make a living, yeah?

Oh, you heard about the health inspector's report too, did you? You're not going to complain about the dead crew, are you? I kinda thought you wouldn't be too concerned about that, what with you being...you know, well...

Oh, right. Well, strictly speaking there were a couple of other things the health-guy got stressed about too, yeah. The thousand thousand slimy things still sticking to the hull...well, OK, but I think that number is probably an exaggeration. And you're right, he did say something about the sails, now you come to mention it. They are on the thin side, yeah. Sere, I think, is the technical term. No, you're right, they possibly wouldn't actually stand up to a strong gale, but they don't need to, see? That's the beauty of this ship; it doesn't need wind. Well, yeah, I do realise that you can get other ships like that nowadays. How about a hundredweight of fish?

No, of course it isn't insured. Since when did people insure Ships of Death? Yeah, OK, so I did ask whether I had to insure the Crimson Shark. And about whether it needed taxing for off-road use. I was just a little inexperienced, that's all. This one's Poetic Licence is fully paid up, after all. Pardon? Well...actually, it was intended to be a joke. A joke, you know...yeah, really...

Listen, do you want this damned ship or don't you? I cannot possibly go any cheaper. No, don't leave, I've suddenly realised I probably can, after all. Fifty pounds weight. Less than my own body-mass, dammit. All right, thirty. Come back! Make it ten. Hey, slow down, some of us can only waddle, y'know!

You're certainly pretty tough for ectoplasm, ma'am. I've decided that you can just take the damned thing. No charge. Just get it away from the Pier; it's killing me. No, I've got no expletive-deleted idea where the unnecessary-adjective sea-bird that goes with it went. Just shift it, yeah? I'm going to dive through this hole in the ice now, right? Just don't argue; don't say anything. You've got yourself a ship, OK?

...But you're not going to come and collect it, are you? ...Well, that doesn't matter...that's right, it doesn't matter! The Speak-Your-Weight-Machine will sail it to Texas. You,ve got a seaboard, yeah? That bit in the bottom right hand corner, I remember. Cool, you've got yourself a ship. To be delivered shortly. No sorry, I'm not listening. Look, I've got my flippers over my ears. I'm really not listening. Uptown Girl, she's been living in a....* splash*

Needless to say, the S.S. Ghost Ship will soon be docked outside the Haunted Castle as soon as I can get a good entry for it.Tours available, cruises apon request.

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We're here at Yo's Level: 3 floors down, where the renouned mad scientist, Yowzupman, is conducting a demonstration of this week's Mad Scientist Formula...

Today's test will be a timed incinary bomb made up of bubble gum, cheese (from the burgers), water, gas and banannas.

~starts building~

*Yo Takes a glass jar and fills it half way with water, zaps it with a couple volts and collects the hydrogen and oxygen seperatly. Lines the inside of same glass jar with cheese, just enough to cover the inside, drops five sticks of Bazooka Bubble Gum (has to be Bazooka or it won't work) into the jar then fills the jar with gas. The gas dissolves the bubble gum and both mix to form a gel. The cheese does not dissolve and starts to laugh at the gum and the gas. Yo then sticks a whole bannana into the top of the jar sealing the jar completely.*

~finishes~

"Right, now lets put this over there......."(puts it there)

*s back to a safe distance near X-R*

*speaking quietly*"Now, since the cheese is laughing at the bubble gum/gas solution, its releasing it's bad breath. This noxious substance floats up to the bannana, it's just a matter of time till they start fighting and it blows up...."

*BOOOMMM!!!!!* Increadibly hot fire ensues consuming the area nicely.*

"........mmmmm, perfect!"

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