h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

http://www.bbc.co.uk/h2g2/guide/A680014

Furniture Whores and Debit Card Toilets:
The Lowlights of Selected Virtual Societies.

Reviews of a few visual chat websites, and what they tell us about the future of virtual societies. Learn esoteric slang such as "I WILL BOBBA FOR FURNI" and "Do you want to cyber?" and BRB AFK 2PP, plus an explanation of why the Insane Clown Posse drenches audiences with Faygo.

Ahoy Subcom Dei!

Good to see this good stuff from you in AWW. I have sometimes tried to do a kind of 'Don't Panic!' welcome mail to people who have stuff 'dumped' here from PR or elsewhere, but i don't think that's really necessary here, eh!

I read the Furniture Whores piece, despite being seriously put off by the title. That is my main gripe - I don't think the title is very 'engaging'. Glad I didn't stop there, though.

I definitely found out something I didn't know! And now I understand why I *didn't* understand what you and Tonsil where on about in one of out mutual threads recently! I had clicked that it was something about chat websites but not gone to see what it was about (doesn't sound to be my 'bag' at all).

In my ignorance, I would have liked some kind of brief guide to chat rooms pre-Palace and then a hook as to what was so new about what you are about to describe. (in your entry, not our thread!)

I feel your current intro is more a disclaimer than anything else; which is fine up to a point, but would you consider doing a proper intro too, instead of mixing the two things into one para.

If you do a search for 'chat' on the h2 search engine, you may be surprised to find that there is no edited entry on chat or chat rooms.
There was one item that looked as if you could link to it - if so to do desire you should. http://www.bbc.co.uk/h2g2/guide/A235234

It is not ideal, but it sounds like it is on your subject. Basically the whole subject is under-covered in the guide so it seems to me something like this should be very welcome, edited or not.

In more detail:

>>you choose an avatar to represent you

- I think this word deserves more explanation. Could you re-jig the sentence to clarify -

- ie "you choose an avatar - ie a digital image, sometimes but not always humanoid in form, used to represent your virtual self as you move within an on-line virtual environment." leading in to what you go on to say about the many different forms an avatar can take.

- Now, I realise my version is OTT in it's definitions! It is only suggested as an illustration of what I mean, not to put words into your avatar's mouth.

>>Angry clown faces like the Insane Clown Posse, plus bottles of Faygo cola1 stacked on the ground around your insane clown avatar.

- this totally foxed me, footnote and all! Sorry.

The furniture/cyber-hookers racket certainly sounds bizarre! I love your description of it and some of the points you make there!

The "interactive propaganda cartoon" sounds interesting. I'm not sure what the consensus is, but it sounds quite good to me. I wonder whether the feedback columns are 'balanced'.

Why would anyone want to pay to "enter a virtual bathroom"?! What made the webmasters think that anyone *would*?!

Love the 'scams' section in Habbo! Wow!

>>When you hear a female habbo say, "I WILL BOBBA FOR FURNI," then you've met your first virtual furniture whore.

- Great tag line to go into an intro... Maybe? The whole paragraph seems sure to get a laugh out of most researchers, I reckon.

Should I know what "tLingan hOL"; am I just being slow; what is going on here?

I like the ending, nice build up to the punchline.

All up to you, to take or leave, of course

Seeya
Spiff

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I loved it. I loved it all. I WILL BOBBA FOR FURNI... ing so much my

Ben

Thanks for the comments, y'all!

Spiff, I will have to revise this more than I thought. Thanks for your input. I rattled off about 2/3rds of it last night, so I probably need a few days to give better perspective. It would have more impact if I show the reader what old chat was like, what avatars are, etc, instead of plunging ahead.

A few of the bits are pop culture references which I know will be lost on some, and will not be salvageable for some, but I feel committed to leaving there. I patched up the bit about "Insane Clown Posse" a little bit, proofreading before I saw your comments. It now calls them "the Detroit rap duo ICP (Insane Clown Posse)" and the footnote is expanded a little.

tLingan hOL needs a footnote. For people who don't recognize the jokes immediatly, the explanations won't make them laugh. But I'm always amenable to adding footnotes just for the sake of adding footnotes. I better do some research to make sure I spelled it right but "tLingan hol" mean Klingon language (written in Klingon language). It's worth noting because there are not only Trekkies who get wrapped up in pedantic details of Klingon, but also linguists, since Klingon is the first fictional or "intentional" language created by one person which made MONEY for its creator. Paramount pays the dude a little bit. Unfortunately, knowing all of this puts me in a similar class to the kind of people I'm trying to make fun of.

Anyhow, I will go through this later and probably revise all these bits you mention. Thanks for the detailed description.

I'm leaving the title, though. Don't you think it's an attention getter? That's the whole point. It's meant to be sexy/scary/disgusting to set it apart from the average ho-hum content of h2g2. Also virtual toilets, what could be better to attract attention?

Thanks for the comments!

I had to read something called 'Furniture Whores' - there was NO QUESTION I HAD to read it.

It doesn't matter whether everyone understands every single nuance. There is enough in there to keep the attention even if you don't. And there is little worse than a joke that has to be explained.

If people are reading it on hootoo, then they must have some degree of internet savvy, even if they have never used a chat room. So I wouldn't get too hung up on the before and after.

The reason I said very little the last time I posted was because there was very little I thought needed changing.

I still think it is a great piece.

Ben

I'm confident about the title, but after a little more thought, it seems to indicate people who are loose and easy with their furniture, instead of people who sell their bodies for furniture.

Whether everyone understands every nuisance: see any given Dennis Miller routine. He gives references too obscure for me sometimes, but hits with enough cylinders to keep the overall effect funny. That's what I'm attempting here.

Like I said, it worked for me.

B

that was funny stuff - though more in the (who are these people??) way. I used to play an online collectable card game, but I never saw anybody prostituting themselves for cards.... then again, it *was* a strategy game - I imagine the WWF card game wasn't free of such things...

Lucinda - will (not) bobba for Scout recc's...

The raw greed behind the concept of "collectible card games" has always put me off from taking much interest. Actually I bought starter decks of "Magic," but wouldn't want to keep feeding some damn company to get more and more cards. Instead of winning a game based on your skill as a strategist, a CCG depends partially on how much money and time you've devoted to collecting cards. So a player of mediocre skill could win out over a superior player.

I suppose it's fun for people who are mediocre and will never get much better. But what a hollow victory. "Yay, I have more money than you! I am victorious because I spend more money!"

Maybe this would be good for kids, to prepare them for the real world, how people always treat money. Maybe it will make some of them jaded against that kind of attitude.

We used to call it 'beating someone around the head with your wallet'...

Raw greed was pretty much why I gave it up: I began to realise that the company was just using it as a 'cash cow' so they'd have the money to spend developing the games they actually cared about. Still, I made back much of what I put in when I sold out, so I escaped pretty lightly, all told...

Ace entry. I was very entertained

"I began to realise that the company was just using it as a 'cash cow' so they'd have the money to spend developing the games they actually cared about."

If this is true then I can stop crying so much about how Wizards o th Coast bought the D&D franchise. Actually I've been playing D&D and Star Wars rpg (both owned by Wizards now) with a couple friends who can afford to buy all the latest supplements, and it looks like Wizards' handling hasn't been too horrible. But then, didn't they get bought by Hasbro? Whatever, it doesn't matter which megacorporation owns it or what they do with it. As a cult phenomenon, it will go on unstoppably.

(Thanks for nominating this piece, by the way!!!)

gah, thanks to you lot, I'm now trying to extricate myself from a rather uncomfortable conversation with a 13-year-old girl.
Oh, she's wondered off. phew.

I think I'm a bit old for habbo...