self harm
Created | Updated Feb 1, 2002
be warn this might be triggering to some
this is something that is very close to my heart and decided to write about this because it is something that i have experienced.
about 2 and a half years ago i started to self harm. i dont remember why i started i dont remember what i first did but i remember being angry. i dont think it started with cutting, more like banging my head against walls which i used to do as a kid to stop the guilty feelings.
then i started using pins scratching into the skin until it bled a little. at that time i also rubbed by knuckles over walls, and sandpaper just for the blood and the pain.
after a while i wanted more blood and so started to cut myself with blades, usually from sharpeners though razor blades were also good. then i cut myself in the shower, and then watch as the blood ran down my arms, a few times my arms were just covered in blood, i also cut myself really badly when i got drunk and i fainted from blood loss, i woke up and my bed sheets were covered in blood. but the feeling i got from it though was amazing, i just felt as though a weight had been lifted off me and all the horrible feelings had disappeared, the problem with self harm is that the effects didnt last very long and after a few hours the feelings would rush back.
a year on and i still have the scars on my arm and still sometimes give myself chicken scratches to relieve some of the pain.
if there is anyone out there that might like to talk about self harm then connact me at [email protected]
i know self harming isnt the answer to anything but it certainly helps.
this is something that is very close to my heart and decided to write about this because it is something that i have experienced.
about 2 and a half years ago i started to self harm. i dont remember why i started i dont remember what i first did but i remember being angry. i dont think it started with cutting, more like banging my head against walls which i used to do as a kid to stop the guilty feelings.
then i started using pins scratching into the skin until it bled a little. at that time i also rubbed by knuckles over walls, and sandpaper just for the blood and the pain.
after a while i wanted more blood and so started to cut myself with blades, usually from sharpeners though razor blades were also good. then i cut myself in the shower, and then watch as the blood ran down my arms, a few times my arms were just covered in blood, i also cut myself really badly when i got drunk and i fainted from blood loss, i woke up and my bed sheets were covered in blood. but the feeling i got from it though was amazing, i just felt as though a weight had been lifted off me and all the horrible feelings had disappeared, the problem with self harm is that the effects didnt last very long and after a few hours the feelings would rush back.
a year on and i still have the scars on my arm and still sometimes give myself chicken scratches to relieve some of the pain.
if there is anyone out there that might like to talk about self harm then connact me at [email protected]
i know self harming isnt the answer to anything but it certainly helps.
