The Lost Gospel of St Geoff the Cynical

Ch1. V1

And an angel did appear unto shepherds in the fields, saying... "Leave thine flocks (since they're just smouldering foot'n'mouth carcasses and won't be going anywhere soon) and travel to the city of H2G2, for there is revealed unto you a Saviour who is Christ the Lord. And his name shall be Hoovooloo, Shade of Blue. Thou shalt find him wrapped in Alabaster and lying in a minger(!) (while mercilessly taking the p*ss out of American Teenagers who really deserve it.)

And lo, it came to pass that the heavenly host did appear and command all men to worship Hoovooloo the Blue by marking his birth with an annual bout of crass materialism.