Cider
Created | Updated Apr 8, 2002
Cider is what you would get if you genetically combined an apple orchard and a concussion. The taste can vary from ambrosia to battery acid but tends towards the latter end of the spectrum. The West Country is the home of true cider. A good West Country cider will make you forget your troubles, a very good one will make you forget how to use your five senses and the best will make you forget how to breath. The majority of English youths will have tried the cheaper and filthier examples of this alcoholic beverage by the time they hit fourteen and will have sworn off the stuff for life by the time their fifteenth birthday comes around, at which point they will fall back on cheap lager and the contents of their parent's drinks cabinet. Quite simply a lot of cider is basically brain damage served in a pint glass and is the reason the inside of my head feels like the Somme circa 1916.
