h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

it's not ment to be realistic, just un. a bit like taking the enemies from out of wherever they are and putting them in some wort of "War Games", a bit like the type of things that hapened in that zone which u saw in "The Five Doctors". All the enemies put against each other. Who would come out victorious in the end.

spook

Celebrity deathmatch for Doctor Who villains! Cool! (actually possibly the least cool thing I've ever heard in my life, but I don't care, I'm a geek and proud of it)

"Match 1: The Sontarans V The Routons (check spelling)

Possibly you mean the Rutans, as seen in "The Horror of Fang Rock".
We don't actually find out much about the Rutans in that, and I don't remember much about them either - I do seem remember that
(a) they could "possess" people, sort of
(b) when they weren't doing that they look like sort of glowing horseshoe-crab-cum-jellyfish things
(c) they were bloody scary!

However, the Sontarans are a clone army (hmm, heard that recently somewhere...), so basically they're unbeatable, aren't they? They just clone off a new regiment. Next...

"Match 2: The Master V The Meddling Monk. They are both timelords who ahev plagued the Doctor. Which one is the most evil and smart?"

Surely the Master wins by the power of the Beard! I'd make a joke about "habit" here, but I can't think of one.

"Match 3: The Silurians V The Sea Devils. These two both excisted befoer the human race was born. Which will win - the smart and skillful or the strong warriors?"

Odd question, since they're on the same side... but the Silurians always seemed to be the brains of the outfit, so my money's on them.

"Match 4: The Ice Warriors V The Autons: Will the plastic people be able survive in the cold environment the Ice Warriors live in? Or will the Autons be smart enough to turn the heating up?"

Hmm. If the Autons turn the heating up, they'll melt. And they'd be brittle in the Martian atmosphere. So the clever punter puts his shekels on the gravelly-voiced green guys.

Further deathmatch suggestions:

Battle of the Unconvincing Metallic Boxes Who Aren't As Cool As The Daleks: The War Machines vs. The Mechanoids.

Battle of the Female Companions: Leela vs. pretty much anyone you like. Don't fancy Nyssa's chances much, for example.

Battle of the Robots We're Not Supposed to Realise are Robots: Sutekh's Mummies vs. the Kraal androids.

Battle of the Legendary Earth Creatures Who Turn Out To Be Robots Or Aliens: The Yeti vs. The Loch Ness Monster.

Battle of the Things You Thought Were Inanimate Objects: Krynoids vs. Ogri

Any more for any more?

H.

Nice ideas for more future battles. Once the battle of enemies is finished we can move on to some of them.

spook

"female companions" aside, all those in my list ARE enemies! (aren't they?)

H.

probably. i may include them if i'm running out of enemies. i have another set of round 1 matches after the first 4, and then it's on to round 2.

a matchup which u may like to comment on, altho it is very stupid and has nothing to do with the tournament, is the battle of K-9s. K-9 Mark 1 V K-9 Mark 2 V K9 Mark 3. Who would win that 1?

spook

Mark 1 was built by/for Dr. whateverhisnamewas, on Earth or somewhere near it. The Doc. himself built Mark 2, but then he gave it away, so it can't have been much cop. So my money is on the Mark 3 - even though he seemed to spend most of his time up on bricks in the TARDIS.

H.

K-9 Mark 3 was seen in K-9 and company, the special spin off series. all K-9s were impressive. my money is on the original deal.

spook

I'm taking this far too seriously.

Mark 1 was the original design built by Marius as seen in season 15.

Mark 2 was the improved version designed and built by the Doctor which would obviously give it an edge over the original. (As seen in seasons 16-18.)

Mark 3 was yet another version built by the Doctor, but this time he appears to have done so using late-20th century materials and techniques to avoid the dangers of 20th century governments getting hold of 51st century tech (Brendan, a native of 1981, has no trouble figuring out how K9 III operates). As seen in the spin-off.

So I'd go for Mark 2 as it's based on the Doctor's improved design, using higher-grade tech than Mark 3.

Oh no! I mixed up the Mark 2 and the Mark 3!



H.

did the doctor actually design K-9 mark 2 or did he just get him mail order in a box then build him?

spook

I hear the sound of anoraks being zipped at fifty paces here, lads.

check out posting 159 blues shark. i'd like to hear wat ur views are on those match-ups.

spook

Sorry, I am coming back to this when I have more time.

no problem. there's no rush. unless - OH NO! THE DALEKS! THEY'RE HERE! THEY'VE COME TO EARTH 150 YEARS EARLY! WE ARE ALL GONNA DIE!!!!!
unless - is that a blue policebox i see? is that a man with a metal dog i see? is that an umbrella and a scarf that i see? - nope. it's not. i guess we are all gonna die then. unless the docor is already on the dalek spacecraft stopping davros. and it's not like he'd actually come to bournemouth, would he? no, he wouldn't. he prefers blackpool beaches.

ok, danger over, you can take as long as you like.

spook

Coming back to the K9 design debate... this may just have been something US fandom concocted out of its own head in the 80s, but the mark 2 K9 had capabilities the original didn't, like a stun setting on the laser and the ability to respond to the ultrasound whistle (though I'll happily admit I'm wrong if anyone can point to those happening in season 15). So there's arguably evidence the Doctor tinkered with the design. (It's the kind of thing he'd do, after all.)

I go away for 2 days and come back to the most exciting conversation we've had here for a long time! So here's my 2ps worth.

Sontarans v. Rutans
Sorry, I feel that the Rutans are too much like blobs that climb circular staircases slowly to win the battle against the Sontarans. They're not really tall enough to hit a Sontaran on the back of the neck, its probably only because the Sontarans have a habit of only invading planets one person at a time (or one clone at a time, even though they're all clones) that the war has lasted so long. And after reading "Evolution", I'm half convinced that halfway through the war the Rutan would mutate into a slug or something...

Master v Meddling Monk
Well, the Master does tend to appear more than the Monk, so has a stronger survivability rating, presuming there's much left of him after the Eye of Harmony... (not that inescapable death has stopped him before). Besides which, since Survival his eyes glow! So has to be the Master.

Silurians v Sea Devils
"The Sea Devils" was the only Doctor Who to be filmed on the Isle of Wight, so I'm a little biased... The Sea Devils may not have the third eye, but at least they remember what the 2 eyes they have do, and not spend all day blinking...

Ice Warriors v Autons
Probably Ice Warriors, I fear.

As for the K9s... I'll think.

<BB<

On the K-9 issue:

the doctor picked up the original K-9 from one of his travels. in the furure, the original designer could have designed a new K-9 which he then sold to a company and it became easily accessable to people. this would ahev been the mark 2. the mark 2 may have come with extra features like comign when a whistle is blown. What i think puts mark 1 over the edge is the experience. it must ahve been active much longer and i think it's this experience and evolution and learning of the original K-9 that i thinks would give it an advantage over the mark 2.

spook

Yes, well, but there's nothing to suggest that K9s were ever commercially sold. And in any case the Doctor would surely have taken the opportunity to tinker with the mk2 design, he's not a blindly-follow-the-instructions kinda guy.

The Doctor doesn't replace K9 following the events of Warrior's Gate. Why not? Because he wouldn't be able to replicate the mark 2's memory wafers (when constructing mk2 he had the mk1 to copy from, and mk2 must have been available when he was building mk3). So these are clearly fundamental to K9's operation. So we can assume that mk2 incorporated the memories and experience of mk1, thus cancelling out any advantage it might have had.

(Which would have been minimal, anyway: mk1's experiences include hanging around a hospital a lot and then helping the Doctor in four on-screen stories (Image of the Fendahl doesn't count) before hanging around on Gallifrey a lot. Mk2's experiences cover at least double that number of adventures before going off to help free an entire universe from slavery.)

but how could the memoris of K-9 mark 1 be transfered to mark 2 wen mark 1 was far away on galifrey wen the doctor built/put together mark 2. how would the memories have been transfered.

and how could mark 2 be available wen matk 3 was made as mark 2 was in E-space, and the doctor wouldn't go back there again.

thinking about it, considering the fact that K-9 mark 3 was the most recent K-9, it would probably be smart enough to let the other 2 matks fight it out in a pretty even fight and then destroy the winner. K-9 mark 3 also has more earth eperience and i'm sure it learnt a lot from is ultra-smart humans!

spook

ps. keep people posting ur vies on the matches found at post 159 of this thread. and please tell other doctor who folk u run into on ur travels around the endless dimensions in time and space that we humanoids call H2G2!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Match 1: The Sontarans V The Rutans.
One heckuva matchup here. Both sides evenly balanced and both sides hate each other totally...but wait! Didn't The Doctor blow up a Rutan mothership by converting a lighthouse into a laser? This means that the Rutans will eventually win because the Sontarans, having missed this critical flaw in Rutan starship design, are idiots.

A Sontaran spokesthing later stated: "We missed the Lighthouse Laser ploy! I can't believe we did that! Oh man, we deserved to lose".

Match 2: The Master V The Meddling Monk.
Now, popular wisdom says that The Master, who has thus far escaped any and every deathtrap he's fallen into, has to be the clear favourite. Admitedly he was last seen being sucked into the Eye of Harmony while wearing Julia Roberts' less talented brother but this is no barr to the Gallifreyan Houdini. On the other hand, the Master never seems to do terribly well when other Timelords are around. He even played second fiddle to The Rani. Given that there is some doubt over whether The Monk is a Timelord...this one goes to The Master who wins by virtue of being a much cooler villain.

Match 3: The Silurians V The Sea Devils.
Match interrupted when both sides turn on the Referee and enslave him, promising the same for all mammalian life forms. This bout was eventually broken up by members of UNIT.

Match 4: The Ice Warriors V The Autons.
Interesting match. The Ice Warriors get cool sonic guns and the ability to hiss impressively, plus a very cool retro look. There is some confusion at the start of the match when it becomes apparent that The Ice Warriors have no idea what the opponent looks like. Hilarity ensues as the Ice Warriors end up destroy nearly all the plastic in the arena, only to fall victim to a "Big Gulp" sized plastic beverage cup which sneaks up on them at the last minute.


As for the K-9 memory controversy...it's pretty simple. The Doctor is a clever chap and always makes regular backups.

If you want a more "Doctor Who" explanation, consider the Tardis Telepathic circuits. Since the Tardis knows each member of the crew, it could concievably hold an imprint of their minds, including that of the original K-9 which could be downloaded into each new robot dog as required.