The word 'Pooter' has several uses. The first, and commonest, is a nausiating way of saying the word 'computer', by people who think that they're being cute. Another use for the word is mostly confined to biologists, and is a description for a piece of scientific equipment.

Pooters are used for catching some insects, some arachnids, some crustaceans, and many small unidentified wriggly things, collectively known in the scientific community as 'bugs'. By definition, these bugs are very small, and in addition to that many of them sting, bite or ooze at you when threatened. In short, they can be difficult to catch, which is bad news for the scientists, and children, who like to catch bugs, either to study, examine, or eat.

A Solution

Pooters make bug-catching much much easier. They are very simple devices, and also very cheap, if a little difficult to get hold of. The main part of a pooter is a clear, colourless plastic cylinder. This is the bit the bugs go in. On top of the cylinder there are two holes, with a tube coming out of each of the holes. One of the tubes is short, and has a gauze or membrane at the end inside the cylinder, while the other tube is long, bendy and has nothing at either end.

To use a pooter you first have to find a bug. If there aren't any on the ground, try standing underneath a tree, holding a sheet of paper out and hitting a branch of the tree with a stick. Lots of things should fall down, including a few bugs. Now place the long tube of the pooter over a suitable bug. Then put your mouth to the end of the other tube and inhale sharply. If all goes to plan the bug should be sucked up the long tube and into the cylinder.

It's natural to feel a few qualms about doing this for the first time. The membrane stops the bug from being sucked into your mouth, but this doesn't stop most people being convinced they're going to swallow it. But as long as the pooter is used properly it won't go anywhere near your mouth.

There is one very important thing to remember; Always make sure you're sucking the correct tube. Sometimes the tubes can be very similar lengths, and if there are already bugs in the pooter when you're trying to catch another, if you suck the wrong tube you really will get them in your mouth. Which is very funny unless it happens to be you who ends up with a mouthfull of woodlice.

Technological advances

The pooter is a very simple device, but even so it has been affected by progress. There are now mechanical pooters, which do the inhaling themselves. These are used in industry as a safety precaution, because, although the membrane protects against bugs, it doesn't stop dust, mites and insect scales getting through. These can cause allergies, and may have nasty long term effects.