Movie sock
Created | Updated Mar 11, 2006
Near the end of the 20th Century the human race was introduced to a new method of viewing movies, the DVD. No longer would we have to fast forward through previews to get to the feature film, no longer would we have to rewind the tape before returning it to the video store. However, anyone that has tried knows very well that DVDs do not like being inserted into VCRs, thus the DVD player was created to solve this problem. Alas, the DVD player, still to this very day, has one fatal flaw for when trying to veiw movies in undisturbed darkness, when turned on many DVD players have a small coloured light (often blue) that is so bright that in some cases it actually blinds out the viewer's view of the television set. Do not fear my movie watching brethren, for there is a solution, the movie sock, a device that strategically blocks out this annoying light.
STEP 1 - Attaining A Sock
Many people do not realize that one can create a movie sock from an ordinary sock lying on your bedroom floor, just glance across your floor and find the dirtiest sock you can (It has to be dirty as to avoid the temptation of grabbing it off the DVD player when you find yourself with only one sock and you are late for work), the best case scenario is a sock found far under your bed next to a half empty, half a year, old but still not moldy, bag of flaming-hot-cheetoes.
STEP 2 - Placing Your New Movie Sock
To correctly place your new movie sock, hold it up by the open end (which should be folded back exactly 7cm in the front and 5 1/2cm in the back) facing the DVD player, then carefully lay the sock down on top of it with the tip flopped over the front, now pull it back until the tip is just covering the light.
STEP 3 - Avoiding Disater
You will want to make sure you place your movie sock on after putting in your DVD, otherwise when you do put in the DVD your movie sock may get caught resulting in the destruction of your sock, the DVD, the DVD player, and 5 to 7 Albanian churches. You will also want to avoid placing the sock over any ventilation slots that may happen to be on your DVD player, otherwise it could overheat and burst into flames (most likely at the best part of the movie). One more thing to watch out for, make sure your movie sock does not cover the infrared port of your DVD player, rendering the remote control useless, thus zapping your brain with infrared rays without even starting the movie.
STEP 4 - Enjoy
You can watch movies peacefully in the dark once more.