A Conversation for The Birmingham Gay Scene
a6242449 The Birmingham Gay Scene
Monsignore Pizzafunghi Bosselese Posted Oct 11, 2001
Ok, the subject matter is none of my business -- but I'm here to send you over to Peer Review because this is a well written piece, obviously thoroughly researched and the Guide needs entries about *everything*.
Before posting to PR, you should remove the first person writing style. Guide entries are written from the position of a neutral observer, and you can easily change that by
- using 'it is said that the male strippers are...'
- writing 'You are faced..' instead of 'We are faced..'
- replacing the sentence 'I remember in the days when I was...' with something along the lines of 'this place has changed much during...'
- saying 'this researcher' instead of 'I' if everything else fails,
etc, you'll get the idea
'Officially a pub but disgusted as a restaurant' - I'm sure you wanted to say 'disguised' there
'Angel's is in the process of being refurbished' - perhaps you could give an estimate about when it's done, or at least say 'as of this writing' because no-one knows how long this entry will stay without an update.
Thread Moved
h2g2 auto-messages Posted Oct 12, 2001
Editorial Note: This conversation has been moved from 'The Writing Workshop' to 'The Birmingham Gay Scene '. A new PR thread exists for this entry at http://www.bbc.co.uk/h2g2/guide/F48874?thread=145857
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a6242449 The Birmingham Gay Scene
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