The Secret Society of Pie
Created | Updated May 8, 2010
The SSOP (Secret Society of Pie) is an organization dedicated to the preservance of knowledge, history, the Earth, and Pie. They were founded in the mid-1900's when human technology began to show the possibility of being a hazard to the well-being of the planet. The members of the SSOP began attempting to develop technological advances meant to prevent humans from unintentionally destroying the Earth with pollution, nuclear war, and general mayhem. In addition, they documented the entire history of the human race in small spacecraft launched into space, to preserve the history of the Earth.
One particular rocket was detected by a passing Errp spacecraft. These particular Errps were a group of Errp outsiders, searching the outer areas of the galaxy for knowledge, adventure, and chocolate. After finding the information within the rocket, the Errps found the coordinates, and visited Jimmy Blanford, the head of SSOP operations on Canada. Uudervamn, one of the Errps, beamed down to him while he was at a party, told him the Errps would help preserve the Earth in exchange for chocolate, and used a mind-scrambe ray to make him believe he had just had a prophetic dream while he was passed out.
Blanford then called a meeting of the Pielords, where representatives from all seven continents met for consultation. After telling his dream to the Pielords, more than half of them laughed at him, and left. The remaining Pielords raised a large amount of chocolate, which Blanford brought to a samll altar he had constructed in the woods. He left the chocolate on the altar.
The next day, the chocolate was gone, and in its place was a dusty tome, labeled 'The Scrolls of Wisdom'.
The contents was a Pie cookbook. At the next meeting of the Pielords, all the Pielords who rejected Blanford's vision returned to their homes to find all their chocolate gone. Out of those who remained faithful to Blanford, each found a huge amount of ingredients near their homes. Most of the Pielords believed the Errps would protect the planet from danger.
However, Daniel McDowell, reigning head of the Pielords, said Blanford had set everything up so he could take the position of head of the Pielords. An arguement insued, and just when the Society was about to be split into two opposing factions, Uudervamn beamed himself down into the chamber of Pie, and used a tranz-gun to turn McDowell into a large cockroach. He then told those present that they were to build a huge circular vessel floating in the Pacific. There, they would mix the ingredients they had received to create a giant chocolate Pie. After they finished, the Errps would beam it up tho their spacecraft, and in return, they would give humans the tools to turn the Earth into a gargantuan spaceship, which could regulate itself to keep it sustained in a perfect climate forever. When the members asked how this rather large project would be concealed, the Errps developed a triangular area, in which those who were not members of the Secret Society of Pie would be abducted to the Errp's spacecraft for 'examination'.
In the 1980's, the final ingredients to the great Pie were added. The Errps, however, had been expecting the Pie to take longer to complete, and had not contacted their homeworld for a long time. It was a nasty surprise for them when they discovered they wouldn't have access to the required technology for several decades. So they staged an accident, and used mind-scramble rays to command a pod of whales to ram into the hull of the Pie dish, sinking the Pie, and giving them more time to wait. They gave them even more ingredients for a bigger Pie. So far, the Pie has just been started after completing the dish, using a stronger material. The SSOP's current goal is to just finish the Pie.
One particular rocket was detected by a passing Errp spacecraft. These particular Errps were a group of Errp outsiders, searching the outer areas of the galaxy for knowledge, adventure, and chocolate. After finding the information within the rocket, the Errps found the coordinates, and visited Jimmy Blanford, the head of SSOP operations on Canada. Uudervamn, one of the Errps, beamed down to him while he was at a party, told him the Errps would help preserve the Earth in exchange for chocolate, and used a mind-scrambe ray to make him believe he had just had a prophetic dream while he was passed out.
Blanford then called a meeting of the Pielords, where representatives from all seven continents met for consultation. After telling his dream to the Pielords, more than half of them laughed at him, and left. The remaining Pielords raised a large amount of chocolate, which Blanford brought to a samll altar he had constructed in the woods. He left the chocolate on the altar.
The next day, the chocolate was gone, and in its place was a dusty tome, labeled 'The Scrolls of Wisdom'.
The contents was a Pie cookbook. At the next meeting of the Pielords, all the Pielords who rejected Blanford's vision returned to their homes to find all their chocolate gone. Out of those who remained faithful to Blanford, each found a huge amount of ingredients near their homes. Most of the Pielords believed the Errps would protect the planet from danger.
However, Daniel McDowell, reigning head of the Pielords, said Blanford had set everything up so he could take the position of head of the Pielords. An arguement insued, and just when the Society was about to be split into two opposing factions, Uudervamn beamed himself down into the chamber of Pie, and used a tranz-gun to turn McDowell into a large cockroach. He then told those present that they were to build a huge circular vessel floating in the Pacific. There, they would mix the ingredients they had received to create a giant chocolate Pie. After they finished, the Errps would beam it up tho their spacecraft, and in return, they would give humans the tools to turn the Earth into a gargantuan spaceship, which could regulate itself to keep it sustained in a perfect climate forever. When the members asked how this rather large project would be concealed, the Errps developed a triangular area, in which those who were not members of the Secret Society of Pie would be abducted to the Errp's spacecraft for 'examination'.
In the 1980's, the final ingredients to the great Pie were added. The Errps, however, had been expecting the Pie to take longer to complete, and had not contacted their homeworld for a long time. It was a nasty surprise for them when they discovered they wouldn't have access to the required technology for several decades. So they staged an accident, and used mind-scramble rays to command a pod of whales to ram into the hull of the Pie dish, sinking the Pie, and giving them more time to wait. They gave them even more ingredients for a bigger Pie. So far, the Pie has just been started after completing the dish, using a stronger material. The SSOP's current goal is to just finish the Pie.
