bogies
Created | Updated Jan 28, 2002
I wish to discuss the thorny subject of bogey picking, to be more precise, bogey picking etiquette.
The thesis I will argue for is that bogey picking etiquette is highly prejudicial in favour of people with small, discrete nostrils.
First, I wish to forestall potential criticism that my chosen subject is, in some sense profane or even taboo- though we all know that those most vociferous in their condemnation of bogey picking are often the most assiduous pickers in the comfort and privacy of their homes, or, God forbid, the assumed privacy of their cars.
Bogey picking is a necessary means to a desired end- the avoidance of public displays of one's bogeys. So, to counter the charge of profanity I would merely like to suggest that bogey removal- by whatever means- is required to prevent public bogey revelation. Naturally, the preferred means of nasal hygiene is by the dexterous use of a pocket handkerchief where one wipes one's nose but should never, repeat never merely cover one's index finger with the kerchief for a thinly veiled common nose pick. Such flimsy subterfuges will merely invite the ridicule of one's peers.
Of course, since the whole object of nasal etiquette is the avoidance of nasal display, the poor unfortunates unlucky enough to suffer large, capacious open nostrils are anatomically condemned to a life of nasal paranoia. For it is they who through no fault of their own will often arrive home, say, after a dinner party, glance in the mirror and realise, to their horror, that a little green monster has been fluttering daintily above their upper lip all evening.
The constant fear of unwitting nasal display drives such individuals to the limit of mental endurance.
Of course, those of you out there blessed with fine discete nostrils will no nothing of this agony. But spare a thought . . . . .
The thesis I will argue for is that bogey picking etiquette is highly prejudicial in favour of people with small, discrete nostrils.
First, I wish to forestall potential criticism that my chosen subject is, in some sense profane or even taboo- though we all know that those most vociferous in their condemnation of bogey picking are often the most assiduous pickers in the comfort and privacy of their homes, or, God forbid, the assumed privacy of their cars.
Bogey picking is a necessary means to a desired end- the avoidance of public displays of one's bogeys. So, to counter the charge of profanity I would merely like to suggest that bogey removal- by whatever means- is required to prevent public bogey revelation. Naturally, the preferred means of nasal hygiene is by the dexterous use of a pocket handkerchief where one wipes one's nose but should never, repeat never merely cover one's index finger with the kerchief for a thinly veiled common nose pick. Such flimsy subterfuges will merely invite the ridicule of one's peers.
Of course, since the whole object of nasal etiquette is the avoidance of nasal display, the poor unfortunates unlucky enough to suffer large, capacious open nostrils are anatomically condemned to a life of nasal paranoia. For it is they who through no fault of their own will often arrive home, say, after a dinner party, glance in the mirror and realise, to their horror, that a little green monster has been fluttering daintily above their upper lip all evening.
The constant fear of unwitting nasal display drives such individuals to the limit of mental endurance.
Of course, those of you out there blessed with fine discete nostrils will no nothing of this agony. But spare a thought . . . . .
