Fresher's Week
Created | Updated Jan 28, 2002
A Fresher is a person who has just started their university career. The term comes from the American college term Freshman and I have no idea where that comes from.
The idea behind Fresher's Week is to help you, the Fresher, find your way around the campus and make new friends. This is all well and good but the hidden intention of Fresher's Week is to get you absolutely plastered and the "friends" that you make in this period are the very people you will spend the next 155 weeks of your life trying to avoid like the plague.
Fresher's Fair
It all starts with "Fresher's Fair" (which incidentally will always be spelt, wrongly, FAYRE). A chance for the various clubs and societies of the university and the local parasitic Accommodation Agencies and banks to sell their wares and fight for your loyalty. Don't be taken in. Don't think about joining the football or rugby clubs unless you can not only drink 20 pints of Snakebite without getting your stomach pumped but also become a toady cohort of the captain. You won't get picked, rather you'll get picked ON.
Clubs and Societies Night @ the Union
Every Uni has these. Usually a Wednesday night when all the sports teams get together having played that day and...here's the genius of it...invite the team they've just played to join them!! Cue stupid drinking games, idiotic and disgusting rugby songs and the obligatory fights, the remnants of which go to make the uniform decor of Student's Union bars across the planet!! Avoid it at all costs..unless you want a sh*g that night. YOU WILL <B>ALWAYS</B> SCORE AT CLUBS AND SOCIETIES NIGHT!!
What to tell your Parents
Never tell them the truth about Fresher's Week. They may have been to university themselves. They may have "done it all before". They certainly do NOT want to hear all about YOUR drunken exploits. They couldn't cope with hearing just how many of the condoms that they secretly stashed in your bag hoping "he/she'll be careful" you actually used.
Tell them that you've met a nice bunch of people and the work looks challenging but your lectures have gone well so far.
Then prepare to be a Fresher's Helper next year. Always a pleasure being the first vulture to spot the new meat!!!
The idea behind Fresher's Week is to help you, the Fresher, find your way around the campus and make new friends. This is all well and good but the hidden intention of Fresher's Week is to get you absolutely plastered and the "friends" that you make in this period are the very people you will spend the next 155 weeks of your life trying to avoid like the plague.
Fresher's Fair
It all starts with "Fresher's Fair" (which incidentally will always be spelt, wrongly, FAYRE). A chance for the various clubs and societies of the university and the local parasitic Accommodation Agencies and banks to sell their wares and fight for your loyalty. Don't be taken in. Don't think about joining the football or rugby clubs unless you can not only drink 20 pints of Snakebite without getting your stomach pumped but also become a toady cohort of the captain. You won't get picked, rather you'll get picked ON.
Clubs and Societies Night @ the Union
Every Uni has these. Usually a Wednesday night when all the sports teams get together having played that day and...here's the genius of it...invite the team they've just played to join them!! Cue stupid drinking games, idiotic and disgusting rugby songs and the obligatory fights, the remnants of which go to make the uniform decor of Student's Union bars across the planet!! Avoid it at all costs..unless you want a sh*g that night. YOU WILL <B>ALWAYS</B> SCORE AT CLUBS AND SOCIETIES NIGHT!!
What to tell your Parents
Never tell them the truth about Fresher's Week. They may have been to university themselves. They may have "done it all before". They certainly do NOT want to hear all about YOUR drunken exploits. They couldn't cope with hearing just how many of the condoms that they secretly stashed in your bag hoping "he/she'll be careful" you actually used.
Tell them that you've met a nice bunch of people and the work looks challenging but your lectures have gone well so far.
Then prepare to be a Fresher's Helper next year. Always a pleasure being the first vulture to spot the new meat!!!
