Opposition to President Peregrin

1 Conversation

Government is nothing without an effective voice of opposition. Since his election on 4 September 2000, President Peregrin did not have a bad word spoken against him in his first year in power. Despite the fact that he has failed to deliver on any of his promises. Indeed in a Presidential Soapbox he claims to have been elected unanimously, he won by a mere four votes. He is showing the signs of dictatorship.

It is for this reason that I have resigned from his cabinet to set up an official oppostion to the despot that has sadly been elected through democratic means for our community. I need your help. I need volunteers to stand up and be counted and to take on his spokespeople at every turn. Keeping them to their mandate however slim for the effective government of out community. If you are prepared to help and start the challenge to the President now, I'm sure we shall overcome the autocracy that the Alabaster house has become in his tenacy.

H2G2 Expects

However reading the rules by which he was supposed to have acted when he put himslef forward for nomination

  • Have a running mate to act as your Vice! - This he has done in the form of the regualrly absentee Bluebottle who has being taking months away from his Vice Presidential duties who has even admmitted to attempted murder of the Prez after sharing a house for four years.
  • Be prepared to put forwards a statement of intent to the h2g2 community - His statement of intent falls on a number of issues see below.
  • Be prepared to submit a picture for the Rogues Gallery (Your voters want to see something even if it's a neat cartoon!) - This we have no argument with.
  • Be prepared to have the dirt dished about you or your running partner! ( No campaign is complete without Rumours and Scandal!) - Yes there was plenty of this but it still exists to this day, what sort of President is this. And did we vote for his First Lady? No! Is she the secret power behnd the Alabaster House.
  • Be prepared, in the event of actually winning, to make regular statements to your constituents through your friendly news media: The POST - Well the last time the Prez gave an statement to the Post was 10 May 2001. This is only regular in the sense that Haley's Comet regularly visits the earth.

Broken Promises

These are Peregrin's policies and opinions. What he promised you when he was elected Prez.

  • Regarding the most important presidential issue,
    abortion, I am both pro-choice and pro life. It's good to get on the right side of everybody.
  • Clearly showing signs of split personality disorder ever before we elected him, how can we continue to trust him.
  • I believe wholeheartedly in banning all
    nuclear testing, and in discarding all nuclear warheads. I suggest that we discard
    them by throwing them forcibly at anywhere still testing. Like the French government.
  • An honourable aim, yet he failed wholeheartledly look at Pakistan and India...and then run as fast as you can in the opposite direction.
  • More Donuts, and More Beer for Everyone.
  • For a start the Principle producer of Donuts/Doughnuts on h2g2 was my Vice-Presidential running mate, so how was he going to fulfil this promise. And have you received more beer from Peregrin since his election, I for one certainly haven't
  • I am a firm believer in Jubilee 2000. This involves canceling all debts of third world countries.
  • The Jubilee was in 2002. What a clotz! Can't he add 50 to 1952, can you trust a Prez with not even elementary maths1
  • I will also send all food mountains to the third
    world.
  • Did he have to get the American's to drop the peannut butter mountain unto the heads of Afghanistan's starving.
  • Oh, and I am also a strong believer in freeing
    Tibet from Chinese oppression.
  • Norman Tebbet was never under Chinese oppression he is stuck in his own homophobic, Thatcherite world though could we free him from that instead.
  • I am even willing to spell 'colour' without the
    U if it helps the Americans like me.
  • Why can't American's like him just the way he is, after all they appreciate Hugh Grant, Alex Kingston, Tracey Ullman.
  • I also believe in banning handguns.
  • And previously he said he wanted the American's to like him, another sign of split personality.
  • I agree wholeheartedly in chopping Microsoft into two. In fact, I think that it should be mashed into thousands of little pieces. And hung, drawn and
    quartered. Then burnt.
  • Well I suppose no one is really able to take on Gates and win.
  • I will not take monetary bribes. I will
    consent to sex with beautiful secretaries,however.
  • Which leads to one of the scandals of today, does the First Lady know of thiese liaisons with that woman.
  • I think that Starburst sweets should be
    renamed Opal Fruits, as they originally were.
  • Last time I checked about 15 minutes ago they were still called Starburst and Marathon's are still called Snickers. But a major supermarket chain has renamed Spotted Dick, Spotted Richard where was his outrage then.

If you wish to help in our campaign please post below.

The Team

1At least he didn't spell potato as potatoe like Dan Quayle.

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