We live in a very complex world, sometimes extremely challenging, and sometimes challenging beyond what we can deal or cope with. No-one as far as I know have been able to come up with characteristics or habits or attitudes or values that will help anyone at all succeed, cope, or even survive, in every kind of situation imaginable. But as a philosopher, for me, the following values might be helpful to most people:

1. Love and Respect - yourself, and others, as much as you can handle.

Love means appreciation ... it means interest. Be an 'interested' human being; be interested in others, in the incredible world we live in. Appreciate the simple wonder of being alive. Love also means commitment and dedication. You 'bond' yourself to those you love ... in a way they become a part of you, and you of them. The narrowest concept of love, is self-love, and love of a romantic partner, or love of your parents, siblings or children. Many people can do this, but some have a hard time even with that. It's much harder to love people that you're not directly involved with - but even that is possible, with an attitude of respectful compassion.

Respect for me goes with love. Respect means appreciation ... in my view, even a sense of 'awe'. Standing in wonder at the 'greatness' of things ... even our own selves. Self-respect is so important! We are all amazing ... the universe in which we live is amazing ... it is vast and complex beyond our comprehension. Without preaching religion at anybody ... I still want to say, there is a kind of cosmic 'goodness' and 'beauty' one can appreciate, in all of existence. And we are all part of that - so, we have every right, to deeply respect and cherish ourselves and each other.

There are pitfalls. One can love in a kind of possessive or 'clingy' way - entangling your own ego with others, identifying with them too much, even to the point where you think you can feel their pain, or think you can make decisions for them because they are part of you. Even if there is a bond - it must not be one that ensnares and shackles, or subordinates. Proper respect entails keeping a sense of distance between yourself and others, also a sense of equality, a recognition of the uniqueness of every person, of every point of view. Not too close but also not too distant.

Also, respect doesn't mean having to approve of everything everyone else does, or says. See the next point.

2. Be as honest as possible. Recognise the limits of your own 'rightness': you don't have perfect knowledge of anything, so try to be as 'right' and truthful as possible while allowing that you might be wrong. Don't make promises you might not be able to keep. Go to trouble to make sure of what you think you know. STRIVE for the Truth. Become a person of integrity - that others can trust - but also warn others not to trust you too far because none of us is totally dependable in all things. Be critical of yourself as well as others. Being critical means becoming able to recognise the good, the true, the right, as well as the bad, the wrong.

THIS IS INCREDIBLY DIFFICULT. Some of the wisest men in history have nevertheless wasted decades of their lives on wild-goose chases in the name of 'seeking the Truth'. So some humility is in order; if René Descartes (to mention just one super-brilliant thinker) was wrong about many things (and he was), then certainly I might be wrong about a great many things also.

3. Develop discipline. This is a constant. Discipline means being forced to do something you would rather not do, because its necessary and/or beneficial.

Discipline can come from an external authority that forces you to do something, but as a philosopher, you may question such authority. Nevertheless, something that is 'eroding' in our society, is the proper respect for authority that makes one willing to obey it. I think this is justified because authorities have become corrupted and I would say, in most or all countries in the world. In my own country, we have had a complete overthrow of the government, because of the government having been totally rotten. And the government that has replaced it, has so far not proven itself worthy of complete trust and obedience. BUT to me that does not mean that all authority should be distrusted. It is entirely conceivable that a government might in fact be a wonderful force - wise and benevolent - and then, a citizen can recognise this, and respect the government, and obey its laws - because they are just! And also subject him/herself to the discipline enforced by the government.

You can substitute any other body of authority for the 'government' used in the above example.

But perhaps more important for our purpose, is developing self-discipline. That means, no-one else has to force you to do what is right, or necessary, or beneficial - you do it yourself. This can become a habit, ingrained through practice, practice and more practice. A person can change from being a really weak-willed and lazy sort of person, into one that is disciplined and hard-working, by a system of progressive discipline-building!

Discipline should be channeled and guided right. No use to work hard at something that is of no benefit to anybody! Or to misspend your energy because you use an inefficient 'method'!

Another problem is becoming so much of a machine that you're no longer human! Either because of an external force - such as actually being forced to work every waking hour, as slaves were in the old days and many people are still being forced to do in some parts of the world today - or, being a 'workoholic' because of some inner compulsion ... but life is not about work alone. You need play and relaxation too. If we just work, work, do nothing but work ... what are we working for??? (Unless the work itself gives us all the joy and satisfaction in life that we need - such as can be the case if we are doing creative and rewarding jobs like being artists, writers, in some cases teachers ...)

Then there's an aspect I want to emphasise - adaptability and versatility. Discipline, too rigidly considered, means practicing something specific ... say, becoming a master at one specific thing. But there's also a broader concept ... becoming capable of a great many different things. In a changing and unpredictable world, it can be valuable to be able to do more than one thing ... or, to have the ability to learn new things. This in itself can become a discipline. If we make a habit of trying out new things, learning to do different things, then we develop the 'discipline' of adaptability and versatility.

Lastly I want to say that discipline should be benevolent. We should discipline ourselves to work hard not just for ourselves, but for the sakes of others also. Doing the right thing, for the right reasons. It's entirely possible to work extremely hard at enriching oneself and exploiting and trampling down others. Such 'hard work' is not the discipline I mean.

4. Be Responsible. In the sense of accepting responsibility for something you did wrong - being willing to admit a mistake - but also, in acting in such a way that you don't make many mistakes ... a 'responsible' person, one whom can be trusted with important tasks. Responsibility means we look ahead at the effects the things we do and say have on others, on ourselves, and on our entire world. Responsibility means recognising the power that we have and using that power in the best possible way. It means being willing to accept tasks, burdens, duties: yes I am willing to take this on; I will be responsible for it, it is in my hands now. And if I mess up, then I am to blame - but I will do my utmost to not mess up.

One also has to be careful not taking on responsibilities one cannot handle! Sometimes we have to be willing to say, a task is too great/too important for us. BUT this should not be a cop-out. We must work to become as responsible as possible, to become capable of handling greater and greater responsibilities.

OK those are four points. If you think about them - you realise, they are all interrelated in some way; you can't have one, and not the others. They need each other, they imply each other. They are not absolute standards, but guidelines, ideals to strive towards. Nobody is ever complete or perfect with regards to any or all of those values. Each has its own 'pitfalls'. Accepting them and developing them in oneself, is an incredible challenge. But it's a challenge worth taking on!

And if you think of the world we actually live in ... how little those values actually come to right ... you can see how much improvement is still possible in ourselves and our societies.