The Many Diverse Uses of Boogers
Created | Updated Jan 28, 2002
Boogers, those wonderfully colored thingies that manage to worm their way out of your nose at critically ill-timed moments. Boogers, those disgusting projectiles that got you in trouble in primary school.
**Recreational Uses**
--Flinging--
If you have either dry or wet boogers, they can be used for flinging. Most boogers are oddly shaped, allowing maximum gripping potential. Hair is the best target for greenies, but landing one anywhere in the vicinity of a Booger Sensitive Person (e.g. Most People) could land you in trouble, if said party figures out the origin of the offending booger. There are two ways to fling a booger; it's really a personal choice. There is the one-handed method: you extract the greenie from your nose with your thumb or forefinger and then promptly launch it using a "flicking" style. There is also the two-handed method, which is slightly more accurate but also higher-profile; after extracting the projectile of your choice, you use your dominant hand to flick (as in style 1) the greenie toward your target.
--Dropping--
After extracting a booger, you must walk casually past your target (be it person, work space, desk, etc.). As you pass them, drop the booger. Effective as a form of retaliation or disgusting revenge.
--Eating--
Not recommended, but not for the reasons you might expect. Boogers are made from dirt, dust, particles, and germs that get caught in our mucous. They are made to be removed from the body. Deliberately inserting this combination back into your body just strikes me as Incredibly Dumb and effectively negates any purpose boogers might have (and then where would all the fun be?).
--Wiping--
For the more conservative, this is the preferred form of disposing of unwanted boogers. It can involve casually wiping at the nose until the offender is removed, whereupon the booger can casually and quietly be disposed of. Wiping can also involve directly extracting the (often itchy) offender and then wiping it on some surface.
--Annoying and/or Disgusting Others--
Flinging falls under this category, as does Dropping and Eating. Mostly it grosses others out because of our societal taboos. So long as your not trying to get around your body's self-defense system, have fun!
**Types of Boogers**
--Wet--
Exactly what it sounds like. The booger is somewhere between dry and snot fazes. It is still solid, but very malleable. Often, it can be shaped without risk of breaking the booger (not recommended unless molding it into a more aerodynamic shape for Flinging). The grossest of the boogers by far, it has the highest disgust power.
--Dry--
Often shaped like modern art sculptures, these are the most common sort of boogers. They are considered Especially Gross if they contain one or more nose hairs.
--Colors--
Boogers range in color from clear to deep green. As with snot, the darker the color, the sicker you are. If you see the color red, you probaby need professional help and shouldn't be poking around on this site!
As I am sure you have found, boogers are fascinating creations of our bodies that have many uses in our everyday world. Enjoy!
**Recreational Uses**
--Flinging--
If you have either dry or wet boogers, they can be used for flinging. Most boogers are oddly shaped, allowing maximum gripping potential. Hair is the best target for greenies, but landing one anywhere in the vicinity of a Booger Sensitive Person (e.g. Most People) could land you in trouble, if said party figures out the origin of the offending booger. There are two ways to fling a booger; it's really a personal choice. There is the one-handed method: you extract the greenie from your nose with your thumb or forefinger and then promptly launch it using a "flicking" style. There is also the two-handed method, which is slightly more accurate but also higher-profile; after extracting the projectile of your choice, you use your dominant hand to flick (as in style 1) the greenie toward your target.
--Dropping--
After extracting a booger, you must walk casually past your target (be it person, work space, desk, etc.). As you pass them, drop the booger. Effective as a form of retaliation or disgusting revenge.
--Eating--
Not recommended, but not for the reasons you might expect. Boogers are made from dirt, dust, particles, and germs that get caught in our mucous. They are made to be removed from the body. Deliberately inserting this combination back into your body just strikes me as Incredibly Dumb and effectively negates any purpose boogers might have (and then where would all the fun be?).
--Wiping--
For the more conservative, this is the preferred form of disposing of unwanted boogers. It can involve casually wiping at the nose until the offender is removed, whereupon the booger can casually and quietly be disposed of. Wiping can also involve directly extracting the (often itchy) offender and then wiping it on some surface.
--Annoying and/or Disgusting Others--
Flinging falls under this category, as does Dropping and Eating. Mostly it grosses others out because of our societal taboos. So long as your not trying to get around your body's self-defense system, have fun!
**Types of Boogers**
--Wet--
Exactly what it sounds like. The booger is somewhere between dry and snot fazes. It is still solid, but very malleable. Often, it can be shaped without risk of breaking the booger (not recommended unless molding it into a more aerodynamic shape for Flinging). The grossest of the boogers by far, it has the highest disgust power.
--Dry--
Often shaped like modern art sculptures, these are the most common sort of boogers. They are considered Especially Gross if they contain one or more nose hairs.
--Colors--
Boogers range in color from clear to deep green. As with snot, the darker the color, the sicker you are. If you see the color red, you probaby need professional help and shouldn't be poking around on this site!
As I am sure you have found, boogers are fascinating creations of our bodies that have many uses in our everyday world. Enjoy!
