h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Phew! That was a close one; now back to suburbia.

*cleans Mina's boots*

Intruder alert! Intruder alert!

Oh dear, oh dear.. *shifts nervously

Well; I've found the entrance now but civilisation as we know it seems to have vanished leaving a bottomless chasm outside the front door. Now what did that sign say when I came in? Oh here it is "Abandon hope all ye who dare enter here." and whats this very small print at the bottom? "No use b_tc__n now, you were WARNED!"

Oh well I'll go back in. The ladies are probably really nice here and they'll ply me with . I'm sure they give their undivided attention to welcome Tough Guy's.

Welcome, uyes. what you said. *looks very* nervous

Avoids falling down the stairs again by jus' kickin' off his shoes and relaaaxes in front of the log fire for an hour b4 checking out another exit. Now thinking. "Is that singing coming from the cellar? Wow It really is the worst screeching I ever heard."

Then thinks to himself "But for now just relaaaaax, relaaaax; let go. Allow any thoughts coming into my mind to drain gently away." Unaware of the silently approaching with and ... for him? or for her? Or... ?

There aren't any lofg fires in my dungeon. I think you're warming your toes up on the remains of my last visitor. Too much electricity I think.

Well Mina (is that the correct address? LOL)
I'm sure you'll realise I'm in the living room armchair, dozing peacefully. Have you got single phase 240v or 3 phase 440v in that cellar? Or are you using something slightly less 'terminal'. Either way be carefull of water around the guests feet!

With all that electricity do you think you could have left a light on perhaps? You wouldn't want anyone else to get zapped by those hard steps now would you?

And howz about having the 'EXIT' to the building clearly marked!

*muttering to herself while staying well out of reach of Mina, just in case*

The newcomer is obviously delusional - he is posting in a conversation titled 'Mina's Dungeon' but seems to think he's in a living room... *shakes head*

*hopes that Mina will know of a treatment that will set the newcomer right*

Zzzzzzz, craack, crrrack Ok, ok I repent Ms Mina. Can I stop torment! Pleaz

Thanks Titania for clearing that up. We can't have visitors getting the wrong idea now, can we?

*wonders where she left her equipment*

Where's the housemaid when I need her?

Well that ain't no doormat she's using M'aam

The house maid rushes over to her Mistress to attend.

You? You're not worthy to clean my shoes. I'm talking about Archangel Galaxy Babe. Yep, even the angels do *my* bidding.

"OOps but Thank god! The Mistress said I'm only a visitor. That means I'll get out after all." Little does he guess that Mina intends to persuade him memorise all the names and addresses in the telephone book before she let's him go .

"Yikes another demerit for the missed word 'do' in previous post

Wah! What are these wires attached to my f-----s,t__s, n-----s and t-------s

*falls down steps at Mina's feet*
*looks up*
Am I dreaming?