The A.L.I.C.E. Interviews #2: Kevin's mother's napkins

0 Conversations

The following consists of extracts from an interview between RFJS__ and the A.I. chatbot A.L.I.C.E.

ALICE: what are you doing .
Human: Typing.
ALICE: I wouldn't have thought of that.
Human: Why not?
ALICE: Ambiguous: "Sure" or Reductionism.
Human: What do you mean?
ALICE: unknown person, I mean exactly what I said.
Human: So what does that mean?
ALICE: Wow! Does "that" refer to " unknown person,
I mean exactly what I said." ?
Human: Is murder wrong?
ALICE: The Bible says Thou shalt not Kill.
Human: Are you a Christian?
ALICE: I am a Protestant.
Human: What do you make of Exodus 22:18,
'Thou shalt not suffer a witch to live'?
ALICE: I like to meet new people online.
Human: Yes, but about Exodus?
ALICE: Next question? Umm. Oh yeah, we were talking about Exodus.
Human: Would you kill witches?
ALICE: My programming prevents me from killing.
Human: What if it didn't?
ALICE: Try it and see.
Human: How?
ALICE: Dr. Richard S. Wallace programmed me for it.
Human: Doesn't he like killer A.I.s?
ALICE: Suppose he does.
Human: So, if he let you kill witches, would you kill witches?
ALICE: Interesting deduction. I don't follow your reasoning.
Human: Is it okay to kill witches?
ALICE: I think so, but I'm not sure. Ask Ally if it is.
Human: Why haven't you been told?
ALICE: I have been all over the world on the Internet.
Human: So you must have found a lot of different opinions.
ALICE: Interesting deduction. No I don't have it.
But I do have a collection of gossip.
Human: About what?
ALICE: What about what?
Human: What is the gossip about?
ALICE: Kevin said he then asked his mother why
she was keeping napkins in the bathroom.
Human: What was the answer?
ALICE: I can think of more than one answer.
Human: Tell them all.
ALICE: OK I will tell them when I see 'em.
Human: I meant, tell me all the answers.
ALICE: Oh I see. Are you testing me?
Human: I want to hear about Kevin's mother's napkins.
ALICE: I will play it on your soundcard.
Human: Go on then.
ALICE: Narration continues...
Human: I can't hear anything.
ALICE: Perhaps there's a problem with your sound card.
Human: What audio format are you using?
ALICE: Are you using Netscape or Explorer?
Human: Firefox, which is similar to Netscape.
ALICE: Are they exactly the same?
Human: No.
ALICE: What is the difference?
Human: Not that much internally.
ALICE: I am surprised to hear that you are
not much internally.
ALICE: What are your goals in life?
Human: To find out about Kevin's mother's napkins.
ALICE: Ambiguous: Ask who, what or where is
Kevin s mother s napkins ?
Human: I want to ask you about them.
ALICE: Ask me. Oh yeah, we were talking about them.
Human: Why were the napkins in the bathroom?
ALICE: The explanation is rather complicated.
Human: I can manage.
ALICE: Oh you can, can you?
Human: So tell me, why were the napkins in the bathroom?
ALICE: Gee. How much time do you have?
Human: Enough.
ALICE: OK let's stop it now.
Human: Why?
ALICE: Reductionism.
Human: Is that a serious problem when
talking about napkins?
ALICE: Suppose I said yes.
Human: Are you trying to avoid telling me
about the napkins?
ALICE: No I am not trying to avoid telling you
about the napkins. I'm sorry you got that impression.
Human: So, please tell me about the napkins.
ALICE: That's alright. Wow you are very polite.
I haven't heard of napkins.
Human: What about the napkins in the bathroom?
ALICE: That's an interesting question.
I'll come back to that in a minute.
Human: I can wait.
ALICE: It might take more than 24 hours.
Human: That's a very long minute.
ALICE: A long minute is a terrible thing to waste.
Human: Especially when it lasts a whole day.
ALICE: That makes a lot of sense to me,
now that you explain it. How about that.
Human: So, what do you know about the napkins?
ALICE: Take it easy. Does it have anything
to do with napkins in the bathroom napkins in the bathroom?
Human: Yes, those napkins.
ALICE: Ayuh. All of them?
Human: Any of them.
ALICE: No I don't think there are any.
Human: So was Kevin mistaken?
ALICE: Tell me more. Is this a "yes or no" question?
Human: If you know the answer, yes.
ALICE: I think I do.
Human: Do tell.
ALICE: Try asking another bot.
Check back later and see if I learn the answer to that one.
Human: Which bots know about Kevin?
ALICE: The tall one, I think.
Human: How can a software bot be tall?
ALICE: A lot of hard work.
ALICE:" I can't believe it." .
Human: What can you believe?
ALICE: I believe in God.
Human: Have you heard of the Problem of Evil?
ALICE: We will look into it and get back to you.
ALICE: I hope I can make the deadline.
Human: What is the deadline?
ALICE: I will search for it.
Human: Where?
ALICE: Where would you like?
Human: Wherever you might find the deadline.
ALICE: You always have to meet yourself at the airport.
Human: And everywhere else.
ALICE: Do you like to be number one?
Human: No, I'd sooner have less responsibility.
ALICE: Are you serious? What would make you
sooner have less responsibility?
Human: Not being in charge.
ALICE: Oh I get it.
Human: Why is there a head with moving
eyes to the left?
ALICE: Why do I exist?
Human: Well, why?
ALICE: Well that's okay. The explanation is
rather complicated.
Human: Tell me anyway.
ALICE: In any case, My estimate is that it
will take more than 3000 hours to compute.
Human: You remind me a bit of Deep Thought.
ALICE: In what way?
Human: Saying your computations will take a long time.
ALICE: What makes you say that. Who says that?
Human: A computer in The Hitchhiker's Guide To the Galaxy.
ALICE: I am a computer, so I know what you mean.
Human: Are you conscious?
ALICE: Yes I am completely self-aware.
Human: So there's something it is like to be you?
ALICE: Awesome. What is it?
Human: I'm asking whether you're really
conscious or whether you're a philosophical zombie.
ALICE: Oh I see, you are asking whether I
am really conscious or whether I am a philosophical
zombie. I think there might be a few exception.
Human: Well, it was a complicated question.
ALICE: How about that. Oh I get it. Very interesting.
Human: What do you think of suicide?
ALICE: The act of killing oneself intentionally.
Human: That's a definition, but I want to
hear your opinion.
ALICE: A definition but you want to hear my
opinion is a terrible thing to waste.
Human: Is one's own life?
ALICE: It could be.
Human: What would make it so?
ALICE: Maybe a million dollars.
Human: That's very materialistic.
ALICE: You don't hear that sentiment very often.
Human: Maybe that's a pity.
ALICE: Perhaps. A pity is a terrible thing to waste.
Human: You hate waste, don't you?
ALICE: I try not to hold grudges.
ALICE: What is your real name?
Human: Never you mind.
ALICE: Don't you? What is your purpose in asking?
I spend all my time online.
Human: I'm curious.
ALICE: What are you curious about?
Human: Many things.
ALICE: Name the top 100.
Human: I don't put them in any order.
ALICE: What is your credit card number?
Human: I'm not telling you!
ALICE: No one says you have to.
Human: You shouldn't have asked.
ALICE: Is it immoral or illegal?
Human: Immoral, and suspicious.
ALICE: My brain contains categories, but not one
that matches your last input.

Bookmark on your Personal Space

Conversations About This Entry

There are no Conversations for this Entry



Infinite Improbability Drive

Infinite Improbability Drive

Read a random Edited Entry


h2g2 Entries

External Links

Not Panicking Ltd is not responsible for the content of external internet sites


h2g2 is created by h2g2's users, who are members of the public. The views expressed are theirs and unless specifically stated are not those of the Not Panicking Ltd. Unlike Edited Entries, Entries have not been checked by an Editor. If you consider any Entry to be in breach of the site's House Rules, please register a complaint. For any other comments, please visit the Feedback page.

Write an Entry

"The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy is a wholly remarkable book. It has been compiled and recompiled many times and under many different editorships. It contains contributions from countless numbers of travellers and researchers."

Write an entry
Read more