A Very Brief (And Wholly Inaccurate) History Of Kettles

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The common misconception on the subject of kettles is that many people think they are there solely to make tea.

On the whole they are. Coffee comes close.


But the average electric water boiler kind of affair will always have certain key elements that make it unique.


A SpoutFor pouring the hot water over a teabag, into a saucepan or onto ants
A LidTo cover The Hole
The HoleUsed to pour cold water in
A Measuring GaugeA wholly inaccurate level at which to determine when to turn
the tap off. For energy conservation issues only pour in as much as you need. For not wanting to refill it halfway through making a cup of tea, fill it at least halfway.
A switchFor on and offable purposes.
Power
CordedNow a slightly old fashioned kind of kettle, a cable connecting the kettle to the wall which in itself is connected to the national grid
CordlessIt’s more modern counterpart. The kettle connects to a base; this base has a cable connecting it to the wall, which in itself is connected to the national grid.

Kettles first came into existence as crude objects filled with water placed on fires. The stone age human would then remark at his amazing lack of forethought realising he’d not discovered tea and promptly went to invent the wheel so that he could find it.


It came into more use some millennia later when some fool told Queen Elizabeth I that the only thing to kill the ants that were rushing up her legs was hot water

Loyal servants were seen rushing to all manner of heating apparatus to try and be the one to first kill the little beasts and then probably receive a knighthood.

A courtier whose name has long since been lost in history found a metal kettle slung over a fire in a local tearoom, he quickly rushed it back to her majesty and killed the ants.

The only sword gracing his neck, however, was the revengeful mass of a scalded monarch.


Which brings us back to modern times; kettles have now evolved into huge drums used in big finales of the last night of the proms and are no longer filled with water.


Or is that a whole different kettle of fish?


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