Language gaffes
Created | Updated Jan 28, 2002
It didn't do a lot for my self-image when my girlfriend translated her eldest daughter's comment. "Mamma's new boyfriend is so stupid, he can't even speak."
I was an Australian backpacker, meeting my Swedish girlfriend's two girls for the first time. Alas, the girls, aged 5 and 2, spoke no English, and I spoke no Swedish. Hanna, the elder, did not yet realise that languages other than Swedish existed, so as far as she was concerned, I wandered around the apartment making strange grunting noises.
This episode had a few positive results: first, I realised that I had to learn some Swedish, and quickly. It also demonstrated to me more clearly than anything else that my upbringing had been sadly lacking, as it is for many native English speakers, in that I had never been taught more than a few words of any other language. But it also made Hanna, at least, understand that not everybody in the world spoke Swedish. In fact, even her mother seemed to be making the same strange grunting noises as this hairy man.
That was three years ago. I moved to Sweden 18 months ago, and nowadays can hold down a conversation pretty well, after some interesting experiences along the way. The kids and I can understand each other with few difficulties, but adults have to be a bit more tolerant. Someone this morning read out a quote from Neitzsche in Swedish: come on, I can't understand him in English!
As a native English speaker, especially travelling through or living in continental Europe, one often feels linguistically inadequate. In the Nordic countries, when 10-year-olds speak English, plus their mother tongue, and maybe another language as well, our lack of understanding of "foreign" languages can be embarrassing. It can come from quite unexpected people as well: when I first met by girlfriend's 75-year-old grandmother, she astonished the whole family by talking to me in fluent English. Everyone knew she spoke German, but the English was definitely a surprise.
I consider myself to be extremely fortunate to be living in Sweden. Among the many reasons is that imported movies and television programs are almost invariably screened in their original language, with Swedish subtitles. This means I can practise my Swedish while still understanding the movie. This, combined with driving my girlfriend crazy by asking her to translate posters, billboards and TV commercials, meant that I initially began learning Swedish through subtitles and advertising. My girlfriend was a tower of strength. One evening, she dutifully repeated, in English, a funny TV ad. I listened at length, hugged her, and said: "Thank you sweetheart, but the ad was in English to start with."
But despite the frustrations and frequent embarrassment, and often because of those same embarrassments, I am enjoying my attempts to learn Swedish. My gaffes and misunderstandings provide plenty of amusing moments, and people are often happy to share their stories about learning another language.
One of my first chuckle-inducing attempts came when I sent an e-mail to my girlfriend saying that she had beautiful ears. Alas, I got a vowel wrong, and told her she had beautiful "oars". Another mail which meant to say (okay, I'm mushy) that "I love you more every day" also got mangled. Instead of "mera", or "more", I wrote "myra" or "ant". She got the idea.
My long-suffering Swedish teacher also cops it. I once told her about meeting a man who played the drums in a local jazz band. Problem was, I said he played the "thumbs" instead.
But I can't claim credit for all of the Anglophone-talks-Swedish funnies. A mental blank led one friend, who intended to say that she and a business colleague needed a "samtal" or conversation, to say instead that they needed a "samlag". Despite the shock of a suggestion that they sleep together, the colleague went off unscathed.
Some of my Swedish friends have told some beauties about their English conversations. One lass went into a posh boutique in London's Bond Street. Her English failed just as she asked to look at a striking dress in the window. Unable to remember the word "spots", she used the Swedish instead. Alas, her request to "look at the dress with all the pricks on it" met a disturbingly frosty response. "Ignore her!" ordered the shop manager.
The Swedish word for chaos, "kaos", is pronounced almost the same as the English "cows". A family member whose plane was delayed told her American friend, waiting in New Jersey, that she would be late "because of all the kaos at the airport". "You've got COWS at the airport! What sort of place is this Stockholm?"
Sweden is very much a multilingual country, but sometimes the mix between, for example, English and Swedish can cause confusion. My girlfriend sent an e-mail to a colleague, adding some notes under the English abbreviation FYI (for your information). Her colleague reacted indignantly: "Why have you written "FY!" (Yuck!) on this mail?"
English-language oaths (cuss-words, if you like) are also well known here, but with few of the taboos that you find in most English-speaking countries. Fair enough: most Anglo-Saxon swearwords are not Swedish swearwords. Nonetheless, I was extremely surprised soon after my arrival in Stockholm to see billboards all over town for one of the most successful Swedish movies of recent years: "F...ing Åmal!" With my jaw dropping to about belt-height, I spluttered to my girlfriend: "Did you see that?! How can they do that, in public?" "Why not?" she replied. "It doesn't mean the same thing here."
What with the surprises, challenges, embarrassing mistakes, frustration, annoyance and incomprehension, why would anyone ever want to try to learn another language? I know people who have lived here for quite a few years and have hardly made an effort to learn Swedish. They say (rightly, but embarrassingly) that everyone hear speaks English, so they don't need to learn this sometimes incomprehensible language.
I think such people are making a mistake. They are missing out on so much: the excitement of learning about another culture, the real exchange of ideas, the personal challenge that learning a new language involves, the ability to put new friends at ease, the joy of making a child laugh, of making friends and colleagues smile, and occasionally, very occasionally, getting it right.
I wouldn't miss this for the world.
I was an Australian backpacker, meeting my Swedish girlfriend's two girls for the first time. Alas, the girls, aged 5 and 2, spoke no English, and I spoke no Swedish. Hanna, the elder, did not yet realise that languages other than Swedish existed, so as far as she was concerned, I wandered around the apartment making strange grunting noises.
This episode had a few positive results: first, I realised that I had to learn some Swedish, and quickly. It also demonstrated to me more clearly than anything else that my upbringing had been sadly lacking, as it is for many native English speakers, in that I had never been taught more than a few words of any other language. But it also made Hanna, at least, understand that not everybody in the world spoke Swedish. In fact, even her mother seemed to be making the same strange grunting noises as this hairy man.
That was three years ago. I moved to Sweden 18 months ago, and nowadays can hold down a conversation pretty well, after some interesting experiences along the way. The kids and I can understand each other with few difficulties, but adults have to be a bit more tolerant. Someone this morning read out a quote from Neitzsche in Swedish: come on, I can't understand him in English!
As a native English speaker, especially travelling through or living in continental Europe, one often feels linguistically inadequate. In the Nordic countries, when 10-year-olds speak English, plus their mother tongue, and maybe another language as well, our lack of understanding of "foreign" languages can be embarrassing. It can come from quite unexpected people as well: when I first met by girlfriend's 75-year-old grandmother, she astonished the whole family by talking to me in fluent English. Everyone knew she spoke German, but the English was definitely a surprise.
I consider myself to be extremely fortunate to be living in Sweden. Among the many reasons is that imported movies and television programs are almost invariably screened in their original language, with Swedish subtitles. This means I can practise my Swedish while still understanding the movie. This, combined with driving my girlfriend crazy by asking her to translate posters, billboards and TV commercials, meant that I initially began learning Swedish through subtitles and advertising. My girlfriend was a tower of strength. One evening, she dutifully repeated, in English, a funny TV ad. I listened at length, hugged her, and said: "Thank you sweetheart, but the ad was in English to start with."
But despite the frustrations and frequent embarrassment, and often because of those same embarrassments, I am enjoying my attempts to learn Swedish. My gaffes and misunderstandings provide plenty of amusing moments, and people are often happy to share their stories about learning another language.
One of my first chuckle-inducing attempts came when I sent an e-mail to my girlfriend saying that she had beautiful ears. Alas, I got a vowel wrong, and told her she had beautiful "oars". Another mail which meant to say (okay, I'm mushy) that "I love you more every day" also got mangled. Instead of "mera", or "more", I wrote "myra" or "ant". She got the idea.
My long-suffering Swedish teacher also cops it. I once told her about meeting a man who played the drums in a local jazz band. Problem was, I said he played the "thumbs" instead.
But I can't claim credit for all of the Anglophone-talks-Swedish funnies. A mental blank led one friend, who intended to say that she and a business colleague needed a "samtal" or conversation, to say instead that they needed a "samlag". Despite the shock of a suggestion that they sleep together, the colleague went off unscathed.
Some of my Swedish friends have told some beauties about their English conversations. One lass went into a posh boutique in London's Bond Street. Her English failed just as she asked to look at a striking dress in the window. Unable to remember the word "spots", she used the Swedish instead. Alas, her request to "look at the dress with all the pricks on it" met a disturbingly frosty response. "Ignore her!" ordered the shop manager.
The Swedish word for chaos, "kaos", is pronounced almost the same as the English "cows". A family member whose plane was delayed told her American friend, waiting in New Jersey, that she would be late "because of all the kaos at the airport". "You've got COWS at the airport! What sort of place is this Stockholm?"
Sweden is very much a multilingual country, but sometimes the mix between, for example, English and Swedish can cause confusion. My girlfriend sent an e-mail to a colleague, adding some notes under the English abbreviation FYI (for your information). Her colleague reacted indignantly: "Why have you written "FY!" (Yuck!) on this mail?"
English-language oaths (cuss-words, if you like) are also well known here, but with few of the taboos that you find in most English-speaking countries. Fair enough: most Anglo-Saxon swearwords are not Swedish swearwords. Nonetheless, I was extremely surprised soon after my arrival in Stockholm to see billboards all over town for one of the most successful Swedish movies of recent years: "F...ing Åmal!" With my jaw dropping to about belt-height, I spluttered to my girlfriend: "Did you see that?! How can they do that, in public?" "Why not?" she replied. "It doesn't mean the same thing here."
What with the surprises, challenges, embarrassing mistakes, frustration, annoyance and incomprehension, why would anyone ever want to try to learn another language? I know people who have lived here for quite a few years and have hardly made an effort to learn Swedish. They say (rightly, but embarrassingly) that everyone hear speaks English, so they don't need to learn this sometimes incomprehensible language.
I think such people are making a mistake. They are missing out on so much: the excitement of learning about another culture, the real exchange of ideas, the personal challenge that learning a new language involves, the ability to put new friends at ease, the joy of making a child laugh, of making friends and colleagues smile, and occasionally, very occasionally, getting it right.
I wouldn't miss this for the world.
