North American Lavatories
Created | Updated Jan 28, 2002
The lavatories of North America are quite unlike those found in the rest of the world.
In this land of ultimate sloth it has been deemed too much effort to turn around and pull a lever once ones posterior has been surgically removed from the seat. The flush is automatic and is based on ones distance from the rear of the throne.
Goodness me - you may be thinking - what a wonderful idea and think of the precious seconds that must save Joe Capitalist and his money making minions - except there is one flaw in the plan.
If the user is relaxing a little too much, or perhaps leaning forward whilst reading the newspaper, they will be greeted by a flush of cold air around the back passage and the spray of splash-back from the bowl as the automatic flush kicks in - eager to complete its' mission of keeping every bowl clean.
A line of expletives usually follows this, with some very careful drying by a somewhat shocked extruder.
Be warned - in North American Lavatories:
- Sit Bolt Upright and do not slouch
- Refrain from reading newspapers as you will be lulled into a
false sense of security
If these guidelines are followed, your visit should be as pleasurable experience as elsewhere in the world (with the possible exception of finding a clean lavatory in India whilst suffering from mild dissentery)
In this land of ultimate sloth it has been deemed too much effort to turn around and pull a lever once ones posterior has been surgically removed from the seat. The flush is automatic and is based on ones distance from the rear of the throne.
Goodness me - you may be thinking - what a wonderful idea and think of the precious seconds that must save Joe Capitalist and his money making minions - except there is one flaw in the plan.
If the user is relaxing a little too much, or perhaps leaning forward whilst reading the newspaper, they will be greeted by a flush of cold air around the back passage and the spray of splash-back from the bowl as the automatic flush kicks in - eager to complete its' mission of keeping every bowl clean.
A line of expletives usually follows this, with some very careful drying by a somewhat shocked extruder.
Be warned - in North American Lavatories:
- Sit Bolt Upright and do not slouch
- Refrain from reading newspapers as you will be lulled into a
false sense of security
If these guidelines are followed, your visit should be as pleasurable experience as elsewhere in the world (with the possible exception of finding a clean lavatory in India whilst suffering from mild dissentery)
