Eclipses, Total Solar
Created | Updated Apr 8, 2002
Earth is notable in that its solitary natural satellite, known to most of us under the frighteningly original
name of "The Moon", is of a size great enough that at some points in its orbital path it can eclipse Sol completely,
but small enough that such an eclipse allows Sol's corona to be visible. When at a spot from which a 'total eclipse' is
visible, an observer can see a number of exciting effects that astronomers have come up with lots of clever
names for, but which to most of us are best summed up as 'pretty' or 'impressive', or in some cases even
'pretty impressive'.
The superstitous nature of our planet's population means that many us read great significance
into such events, and in some cases even refer to them as Events. Some believe that they are portents or omens for
catastrophes and other really bad stuff, having failed to notice that such eclipses actually take place every two or so
years (albeit in different points above the globe), thus giving the really bad stuff that happens all the time a fair chance
of happening straight after an eclipse.
Total Eclipses are also noted as affecting Earth's prolific internal tourist industry. Whenever a total eclipse occurs
places that happen to be on the path of the eclipse suddenly find themselves inundated with people who live close
enough to the path of the eclipse to be affected by what has become known as the 'hmmm, it might be interesting to
see that' effect. For some eclipses, this effect is so acute that it has lead to warnings being given out to people living in
such places to abstain from procreational activities nine months before the eclipse takes place, it being
unlikely that anyone giving birth in such a place during the eclipse will be able to get medical assistance due to the
area being thoroughly congested with people who 'thought it might look nice'. Anyone able to get to a medical facility
while giving birth during an eclipse is likely to find that all medical personnel are already over-burdened with the task
of saying 'I told you so' to all those people who have sustained retinal damage by viewing the eclipse in any of the
ways which they were warned not to.