h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

David Beckham

Well Mr Walsh, I suppose you could review my salary and bonus package. That would make it up to me

"Oliver Cromwell was 10th. That's a little dubious if you ask me."

In all fairness, when Beckham can come above the likes of Dickens, Whittle, Nightingale and Watt, it all seems a tad silly.

There's a link on that same page to the 100 Worst Britons too. That's rather nice. Tony Blair appears on both lists

Deal!

I will also have all desks sanded and varnished in order to avoid future uncomfortableness.

"100 Greatest Britons"

Having perused the list further it's just mental. In what way is Bono a great Briton?

Why is Enoch Powell on there?

And Guy Fawkes? As much as I applaud his efforts to blow up Parliament it hardly ranks him as a great Briton. Especially as he failed.

That sounds like a fair compromise to me Mr Walsh. I'll get back on the desk now.

Crisis averted.

Right Ms McKinley.....where were we?

"Especially as he failed."

Yet he remains the only person to ever enter the Houses of Parliament with honest intentions.

Never mind that the dude who invented the Scouts and Girl Guides was 13th in the list

I think we were probably somewhere other than here Mr Walsh. I feel that if we were resume our dealings in such a public forum, your position as the second best-behaved boy on this thread might come under threat. Shall we retire to your office, Sir?

Oh, God! Here come the RSPCA again.

How is rowly not on that list? Scandalous!!

Lists like these and reality shows like Big Brother Strictly etc all rely on a free public vote. This has always been a bad idea resulting in rubbish results and mediocre winners.

Without a doubt free votes and universal suffrage are a bad idea, the fates of nations should be in the hands of an intellectual morally superior elite.

Me in other words.

Although Mr Walsh is partial to a cats on his desk, I'm not sure if that's entirely appropriate behaviour MCY

"Never mind that the dude who invented the Scouts and Girl Guides was 13th in the list"

To be fair at least he did something lasting and on a worldwide scale. Why is Michael Crawford at 17?

Me in other words.
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Precisely

I am !!!

Can you guess which one I am?

Can you guess which one I am?

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GASP! Princess Di! I knew it!

"Why is Michael Crawford at 17?"

Am I right in thinking that he was Frank Spencer in Some Mothers Do 'Ave 'Em? Or am I thinking of someone else?

I will change that list, and I shall put myself at an appropriate number. And it will remain like that. For a few seconds anyway.

I make a brilliant number one