h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Entry: The German Shepherd Dog - A57167535
Author: anne-o-mally - U13885729

A first attempt at this & it might be a bit dry.

And my footenotes disappeared (it was c&p'ed from Word). How do I insert them again?

Thanks for any help.
anne

This looks like a good first effort though I don't know much about dogs and so can't really comment on the factual content.

The footnotes on h2g2 are created using the GuideML tags , so they're an entirely different thing to the MS Word footnotes/endnotes. You'll need to copy your footnotes over individually, so that a sub can add them properly once this goes through Peer Review.

Speaking of which - would you like some sort of help from the Edited Guide Writing Workshop, or are you just a bit scared of Peer Review?

Alex

I'll give it a good once-over in a bit; I grew up with German Shepherds (we had a lot of ) and had considered writing an Entry about them myself!

>>Speaking of which - would you like some sort of help from the Edited Guide Writing Workshop, or are you just a bit scared of Peer Review?<<

Alex, you may be bang on there. If it needs a proper mauling, then it can be redone before it goes anywhere near PR.

Apart from the writing style & content itself, I really do need help with GML. So, do I have to re-set the entry to GML, then add in the footenotes that way?


Mala, thanks for that, any info would be gratefully received

anne

Hi Anne

This is excellent
A very good fist entry well done my only comment please use "and" as "&" will not work well in Guide ML.
This will save the editor a lot of work

This is excellent

It seems to be more about health problems than all the rest combined, though Maybe that would be better as a summary, with a separate entry on dog health problems in general? It's a bit of a strange note to end the thing on.

Also, I don't know how it is with other countries, but in Germany, the dog has a "surname", the kennel name, and each litter's name starts with the same letter of the alphabet - A for the first, B for the second, and so on, where it's the kennel's litters that are relevant, not those of a particular bitch. Ours were Colin vom Distelfeld and Asla vom Distelfeld, from a third and a first litter. (And our own kennel name, since we bought them when we were living in the US.)

Also, in Germany you can't breed them without their having passed certain tests - they have to be trained as a Begleithund (companion dog) at the very least, preferably a Schutzhund (protection dog, trained for basic police work.) The rules are unfortunately more lax in other countries - also leading to things like the hip problems you mention, because they're not thoroughly vetted first.

Style-wise, I don't like the constant use of ampersands - it reads more like shorthand notes than a "long form" entry!

The long-haired kind are called "Altdeutsch" in German, "old German". And grey hairs are common even on darker dogs (we had a woman refuse to buy a puppy from us because the mother "was going prematurely grey" )

More later, if you want it

Yep, if you want to add footnotes properly yourself you should use GuideML. It's not that tricky - switch to GuideML mode, and format your entry like this:





Introduction goes here.

First Section Title

First section contents. Link to h2g2 entry. Link to external website.

Second Section Title

Second section contentsThis is a footnote..

Third Section Title

(And so on.)

But, as Bob says, you'll have to get rid of the ampersands first, since they won't work in GuideML and will give you an error message. I recommend search and replace in word

Thanks to you all.

Ampersands now removed & I will try the GML after my night shifts.

Mala, I do see that the ending is a bit erm, depressing, but I'm unsure of where to go afterwards. Perhaps a run-down of famous GSDs, famous GSD ownwers, or just a paragraph about actually enjoying your dogs in general? I just thought the toxins would be interesting & different, but it does lend an air of gloom, admittedly.

It makes it sound like they fall over dead at the drop of a hat, when they're really generally strong and healthy. How about a brief paragraph mentioning some of the health problems (mostly due to overbreeding) and keeping the rest for a separate entry?

I'm not sure you need to add the trivia section, really. But enjoying your dog sounds reasonable

I came across this I know not how....
What a great read.

I noticed a parenthesis in the wrong place and perhaps a few missing words, i.e.
• Teeth do need to be brushed – many dogs (approx 80% have dental disease - cavities, gingivitis) by three years old. Halitosis .....

might be better as
• Teeth do need to be brushed – many dogs (approx 80%) have dental disease - cavities, gingivitis by the time they are three years old. Halitosis .....

And there is a slight confusion with 'it' here:

• Haircuts[Fnote 4]. There’s no need for it, unless it’s long hair around the feet.

maybe:
• Haircuts[Fnote 4]. There’s no need, unless the hair around the paws becomes long.


This might be the wrong place for such comments but I couldn't resist. I hope you will be putting this entry into peer review soon to have it heading for the edited guide. It's not boring at all!

nsbe, thank you

The problems you pointed out are now fixed.

Hopefully, when I get more GML sorted it can go to PR.

anne

How's this looking regarding the GML? Does it need anything else?

anne

Don't worry about the GuideML, a sub can sort that out. The Writing Workshop is more about content and style

, then in it goes.

Time for a long hot bath, I think

See you in PR!

But I still think it's too much health stuff

Hi! Sorry to come in so late, but there were a couple of things I noticed that didn't read well or sat oddly. For the record, I'm not a dog owner, past of present.

>>Rapid gulping of water can result in bloat, so water should be restricted in the same manner as vigorous exercise.<<

Erm... This isn't that clear. Are you suggesting you only offer water once a day or something? (I'm being a little obtuse, but it's a serious point. Any suggestion that an animal has limited access to water can be a big deal if a person simply follows your words rather than using experience or common sense).

>>Degenerative Myelopathy can manifest like Hip Dysplasia, but in contrast, it is degeneration of the spine, not the bones.<<

Spine? Spinal column/cord, surely?

Otherwise,

Hello Br. de kap van Robyn, sorry not to have replied earlier - night shifts tend to get in the way.

Ta for your comments, I'll take a look at the parts that need sorting in the next couple of days.

1. It does sound ambiguous - what I mean is that water should always be available, but to prevent bloat, the amount of water available, before & after feeding, should be lessened. This is to prevent dilution of gastric juices essential for digestion, & to prevent ingesting air if the dog tends to gulp when drinking.

2. I meant degeneration of the spinal cord nerves.

I hope this makes it easier to understand.

anne

I knew what you meant, it just wasn't clear. Thought you'd rather know now than later?

Ladies, can you discuss these things in the PR thread for this Entry, so everyone there knows which changes are being made? Most of them aren't subscribed here.