Amsterdam.
Created | Updated Apr 11, 2002
Deep in the heart of the Netherlands ( Holland ) is the capitol city of Amsterdam.
There are 3 things that Amsterdam has that no other city in the world has, these are:
1. legal canabis, a pleasant mildly narcotic plant, which when smoked produces a feeling of well being of extreme paranoia. The conversation following the smoking of this plant can often be heard echoing from many a coffee shop door, Amsterdam is one of the only places in the world where you may hear such gems as:
" Like, ants are really the rulers of this planet "
" No way, I could stand up, but I don't want to "
" Ahhhhhhhh, it's all gone white "
2. legal prostitution, Now, all things considered, if you've smoked enough of the legal canabis this should be the last thing on your mind, but in Amsterdam it is possible to buy sex. Now I know what you are going to say, you can buy sex anywhere, the difference being that in Amsterdam it's more of a shopping trip than a seedy affair in the dark. you can choose from three types of prostitute:
1. Those you would.
2. Those you wouldn't
3. Wow, man this grass is strong, I can see an elephant in a bra and panties....
3. Policemen/women on rollerblades, this is true, even I have no idea why, and I live here.
The best advice I can give anyone who is coming to Amsterdam is this.
1. Pace youself.
2. Never eat from a ' FEBO '.
3. The beers are small, but deadly.
4. Edam does not make a good present.
5. Americans, please don't wear shorts in Feb - April, you are the only fools who do, and it makes you a target for muggers.
6. 50 guldens is really quite a bargain.
7. Do not give the buskers money, it only encourages them to breed.
8. Beware of the bicycles.
9. When crossing the road, look right, look left, then run like hell.
10. Never get in the way of a tram.
And last but by no means least:
11. When shopping in the centre of town, don't walk in front of me, at 1.2 miles per year, in groups of sixty plus saying " gee ain't it swell " and " Wow look, a Mcdonalds " and stopping to take photos of each other.
There are 3 things that Amsterdam has that no other city in the world has, these are:
1. legal canabis, a pleasant mildly narcotic plant, which when smoked produces a feeling of well being of extreme paranoia. The conversation following the smoking of this plant can often be heard echoing from many a coffee shop door, Amsterdam is one of the only places in the world where you may hear such gems as:
" Like, ants are really the rulers of this planet "
" No way, I could stand up, but I don't want to "
" Ahhhhhhhh, it's all gone white "
2. legal prostitution, Now, all things considered, if you've smoked enough of the legal canabis this should be the last thing on your mind, but in Amsterdam it is possible to buy sex. Now I know what you are going to say, you can buy sex anywhere, the difference being that in Amsterdam it's more of a shopping trip than a seedy affair in the dark. you can choose from three types of prostitute:
1. Those you would.
2. Those you wouldn't
3. Wow, man this grass is strong, I can see an elephant in a bra and panties....
3. Policemen/women on rollerblades, this is true, even I have no idea why, and I live here.
The best advice I can give anyone who is coming to Amsterdam is this.
1. Pace youself.
2. Never eat from a ' FEBO '.
3. The beers are small, but deadly.
4. Edam does not make a good present.
5. Americans, please don't wear shorts in Feb - April, you are the only fools who do, and it makes you a target for muggers.
6. 50 guldens is really quite a bargain.
7. Do not give the buskers money, it only encourages them to breed.
8. Beware of the bicycles.
9. When crossing the road, look right, look left, then run like hell.
10. Never get in the way of a tram.
And last but by no means least:
11. When shopping in the centre of town, don't walk in front of me, at 1.2 miles per year, in groups of sixty plus saying " gee ain't it swell " and " Wow look, a Mcdonalds " and stopping to take photos of each other.
